Chandler Bing

Because the kids need new shoes.

See, Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.

That's easy. Baggage claim.

Hmm. Not feeling better about Malcolm.

Well, you're gonna need much bigger jars.

You just answer. It's like a reflex. "Do I look fat?" "No."

Jam? I love jam. Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?

...she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.

[ROSS & RACHEL GROANING]

...you know, accidentally calling her fat or something?

When Janice asked me and I said no...

RACHEL: Hmm. - Okay, this is good. This is good.

All right, listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle...

No. I had a whole story worked out, but then...

So, uh, you know, how do I tell her that without...

But, uh, you know, when you want to go to sleep, you want some space.

Okay, time for the old tablecloth trick. One fluid motion.

And then you...

That's what's stupid?

Should I pay for it and get reimbursed? NO.

See, that’s why your parents told you not to jump on the bed!

because the kids need new shoes

See, that’s why your parents told you not to jump on the bed!