Phoebe Buffay

How come?

Oh, as opposed to your other multifunctional nipples?

I might have.

Why couldn't you just have figured this out six years ago?

...to look nice for your gay husband.

What have I not told you?

I don't understand. I don't understand. How can you be straight?

Well, is she the first that you've been with?

Okay, I wasn't in love with him. I was just helping out a friend.

...and you throw such great Academy Award parties.

Okay.

He was just a friend, and he's gay...

I mean, you're so smart and funny...

No, no. That's all right. Don't tell me.

I don't know what to say.

My brother's straight, so...

So, um... So, what's up? You came to see me yesterday.

Seriously.

...do you think I would have been the one who?

For your information, I'm going to see him so I can put all those feelings behind me.

- Her name's Debra. - Oh.

You know what? I just have one more question. Um...

I don't think either answer would make me feel better. Here.

...and wake up with a woman next to me.

Sure.