Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Sex Naked
Ugh. Ugh.
Hey! Enough talk.
All right.
Now, before this party...
I'm sorry. I was gonna use the doorbell but I didn't want to wake your parents.
[SNIFFS]
MARIA: I've missed you!
Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!
HAROLD: Hey. Calm down. Calm down.
BOTH: Shit.
Aw, dude, turn in there!
...what can I do for you, my burglars of turd?
What is that?
MARY: Uh! You fucking...
...is that? - The Wu-Tang Clan.
[BOTH SCREAMING]
Hey, speaking of guests...
- But... - Step aside, please.
Look, don't be alarmed...
ADRIAN: Dude, look.
These men came in here, I didn't know who they were.
[CHATTERING]
KUMAR: Once the coast is clear, we use the key to get into the back room.
HAROLD: Fuck! Midnight Mass. Is it midnight already? Fucking midnight!
Done.
I don’t want to sound like a Wimpy pussy
MOM: Oh, my God! Billy!
He)', guys.
This doesn't concern you!
Letting him have the master bedroom?
...was a young boy in Medellin- - Vanessa's pregnant.
The only reason I put up with this homo crap is for the p-tang.
And if you want to be in our family...
- What? - What?
[CHUCKLES]
...you're a dream, and I'm having a big wet dream about you.
That's all. No wonder you flunked out of med school
HAROLD: What the hell is this?
- I don't know why, but I love you. - Thank you.
Daddy.
HAROLD: It's perfect.
Can I get you a beer?
- You know I love you, right? - I think you do.
Happens.
Wait, I almost got it.
But unfortunately...
GUSTAV: Grab it.
Those white boys over there.
Shut the fuck up!
Ooh. We'll take it.
I'll get the rope.
Don't call him that, dude. What's up, WaffleBot?
Real Christmas?
I'm sorry about him, dude. I...
HAROLD: Cheers. - Cheers.
JESUS: So, girls...
Dude, come on!
...to sober up.
Maybe he's been a chode, caring more about bay windows...
If this guy makes one more lame pun, I'm gonna kill myself.
Oh, Harry, stop!
I don't even see any stamps on this.
Don we now our gay apparel
I got a buddy picking me up.
Wait...
...family tradition.
I got nothing against weed, okay?
...neighbor. - Hey, man.
...I'd be embarrassed. These trees are ghetto.
...how we're gonna deal with the Christmas party with all these extra guests.
Yuri, warm them up.
[SIGHS]
Thank you.
...your profile pic.
[GRUNTS]
- Yeah. - Yes! You should have led off with that.
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHS]
[GRUNTS THEN GROANING]
- I gotta wear those tomorrow. - I know.
- We saved Christmas, man. KUMAR: Mission accomplished.
NPH, ha, ha. You are absolutely bringing the heat, and you are bringing it hard.
I'm loving me some Applebee's. I made terrible investments...
Let me pull my pants up.
Okay, don't start with this. All right?
Happens to the best of us. You up for...
He's just playing. How you doing? I'm Latrell.
Feels good.
I do it too.
Buddy.
Oh, by the way, if anybody asks, I'm Robert Pattinson's acting coach.
You have outdone yourself.
Well, maybe this'll answer your question.
- Ooh. Bong. - Oh!
You can't give up yet.
- Sorry. TODD: If Emma finds out...
...take the tree that we had specifically called and reserved?
...Katsov.
We have Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.
- Listen, man, I... - Man, this...
...are you sure you don't wanna invite Kumar?
Who's that?
- Ooh. How much is that? LATRELL: That tree'? Sorry.
...with his stupid girlfriend.
Dude, you baby-whispered her.
Oh, God, I ruined your dick!
Vanessa's pregnan...
- You can't fuck her! - I can't promise.
[YELLING]
[ON RADIO] Christmas, Christmas
[GUSTAV SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]
When my mother finally moved me to America...
OPERATOR: Your call cannot be completed as dialed.
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
ADRIAN: New plan. Let's bash through the door.
- The one with the huge clit? - No, not Clitzilla.
Right in the sugar plums.
I am so going to tweet about that. Heh-heh-heh.
...doing that. - Smush that pussy! Unh!
Okay, look, this is scalding hot coffee.
- That was you? SANTA: Yeah.
I take full responsibility. Please leave.
I'm really, really, really sorry!
NARRATOR: Just pop the top, let that batter drop
Can we put on some Wu-Tang?
I wish I would've realized that sooner.