Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

...a Christmas tree every Christmas from then on.

Christmas isn't ruined.

shut your mouth George Oh Luna what did you do you m Luna what did you do you mrs Stephanie Loony said shut your mouth shut we can I believe so shut your mouth don’t give a shit

- No. I swear. - Did you do this?

But one week before that first Christmas, while walking home from work...

Oh, I almost forgot. Harold, my Uncle Yoav, he threw his back out.

These are dangerous, but, aw, it's a great workout.

You're just screaming!

- It's pink. - It's a miracle.

Get yourself some mints because your breath is abominable.

Ooh, hold on. I have an idea.

It's why I couldn't stay here any more.

Hold on a second.

BARTENDER: Yeah.

Um, I know this is gonna be hard for you to believe...

You have the wrong people.

...she was violently attacked...

...angry protesters! I just got a huge Christmas bonus...

Oh, it's so hard.

Nothin' to fuck with

...out of my life!

Are you kidding? No guy at school will even touch me.

Somebody is also...

HAROLD: You got his baby high.

They had one 12-foot fir left.

Hook you up with a free WaffleBot? You know what? Take mine.

TODD [SINGING] Three French hens

(A woman sneezing) Ah-choo! Gesundheit. Gezondheid.

You got my package, right?

That is the weirdest fucking toy.

Now she has the giggles.

Thank you for the update. Don't appreciate the language.

How do we get out?

What do you want to do about it?

The sconces are new. Sconces are actually brand-new.

I'm addicted to cocaine.

Pa rum pum pum pum

Best selection...

We wish you a merry Christmas

...to have a perfect fucking Christmas.

TODD: Oh-ho-ho. Okay. Slow it down...

Oh. Thank you. Yeah.

Of course. I would do anything for you.

Maria, forget about midnight Mass.

You better not go soft on me!

You never told me Harold was Asian. I always pictured an old white guy.

...create a disaster everywhere he goes.

All right. Oh, God.

- How do we get out of these ropes? - WaffleBot.

ADRIAN: Aw... Glass is sharp. Glass is sharp.

Oh, that's just my dad.

Unless it looks like I rent your bathroom for homeless people to shit in.

KUMAR: Let's go check it out.

That's Vanessa, Todd, Rosenberg, Uncle Yoav.

Well, I don't get scared.

LOOK AT ALL MYSE PENSIES NOW WE CANT SHOW THIS A CHURCH AAAAAAAAAAA POOP

- Roldy! - Kumar!

What's up, blood?

- What are you doing? MARY: Getting you ready.

KUMAR: Harold. Wait!

- We take the ornaments off, or...? - We could.

MARIA: Kumar has been...

[RAPPING] If you want beef, then bring the ruckus

GUY: I'm coming!

We've heard of it, dude. Yeah.

JESUS: Yeah, yeah, for real.

HAROLD: I guess. It's extraordinarily...

I think I found the absolute best gift for your father-in-law.

TODD: Well, I spy with my little eye...

What the hell is that?

[CROWD CLAMORING]

Oh, this is not good!

Oh, (using censored bad word). Oh, (using censored bad word).

At a party she's throwing in Manhattan. Best part:

TODD [WHISPERS]: Are you fucking kidding me?

HAROLD: Is this a joke?

I should look at the road and you look at me.

- There's some. - Do not give her more!

While the nuns are lezzing it out, I'm gonna snag the key to the back room.

He is, all right? I just... I don't want his shit in my place.

when u want to rob the car of ur friend

Maybe you should go back to your fancy house...

Maybe that's Todd.

Jesus! Well, then what the hell do...?

How'd you know that?

Yeah. What the fuck is it to you, motherfucker?

They're out of work. You'd be upset too.

I don't know Russian, but he seems a little upset.

Let's see how you did on your assignment.

- Shit. - What?

...scene from A Christmas Story.

Do you smell something burning?

You can't take the fact that Sergei likes me better than you.

KUMAR: Look, Union Square. Let's hide in that tree.

Unless, of course, Mr. Wu-Gang Clams would like to help with some poopy?

Has not accepted you as part of the family?

We're not gonna do anything.

- Get it over with! - All right.