Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You still owe me 87 cents for that jalapeño cheeseburger!
[WHIMPERING]
God.
The tree. Right. So I called them.
- Can I take this bra off'? - Um...
It's not not awesome!
Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck with
[MAN YELLS THEN GRUNTS]
That was so good. Ha, ha.
Yo, slow down, man.
I was almost burned alive by Ukrainian gangsters.
[CREATURE LAUGHS]
- That's a Mr. Pibb, Sprite, Diet Coke suicide? MAN: Correct.
Forget it. Heh.
Have you kids...
Why can't he say both of us?
KUMAR: Mm.
You son of a bitch
I'm in for a really stressful weekend. I just needed some comfort food.
You guys...
Oh, my ass.
KUMAR: That's easy, you'll just use our secret weapon.
Listen, if you want you can come.
There's only one Karate Kid and it stars Jackie Chan and my man Jaden Smith.
Like we some Wayne Brady-ass niggers, right?
I want him to be happy because I want Maria to be happy.
and WaffleBot does the rest
Okay, I will.
- You behave yourself, peaches. Ha-ha-ha. DAVID: Always.
TODD: Now we have to...
Sold.
- You need anything, just give me... - Merry Christmas.
They're home, wondering where I am, where the tree is.
Uh, actually, you are, you fuckstain.
HAROLD: God, that tree is perfect.
Oh, God.
...I gave you your present.
Hey, guys. I just wanted to say that was an epic match.
[GIGGLING]
What are you talking about?
How the hell do I do that?
Bay window is brand-new, actually. We just put that in last week.
...what my sister said. I'm not letting you take our tree.
KUMAR: Ah, there.
Take me to the party, I get you that tree.
Miraculously, my mother is no longer a total bitch.
Give me a half hour...
No. It's already very late.
Oh, no. Ha. Married.
Feels good.
I want to.
I gotta stay here and smoke this weed, otherwise I won't get high.
Wu-Tang to get back together.
Holy shit!
- Who's next? - Santa!
- ...Kumar. - Ha, ha.
KUMAR: I'm busy, Adrian! Go away!
...this is goodbye, Roldy. Be a good boy...
Well, Harry. Harry.
- ...are ready. - WaffleBot?
TODD: Okay, great.
You made the drive in record time. Didn't speed, did you?
She won't make it to your party. Too bad.
I was drugged by...
- So you two own this tree lot? LAMAR: What?
Might have S'ed the bed on that.
It's not fine! My baby's on cocaine.
[OBJECT THUMPS]
I hate...
It's like the worst ice there is. Black ice, it's everywhere.
Come on, girls. I'll introduce you.
HAROLD: I don't care, okay?
That was a perfectly salvageable tree.
Good girl! Let's go home! Let's go see Santa.
Pepe! Where are the ornaments?
Carlos, it will. Tell me exactly what you want and I'll take care of it.
Shut up!
Give your dick.
Woo-hoo.
Bye, Kumar.
Yes.
...with some wimpy pussy.
Your waffles...
Calm down. It's just a Christmas tree.
...my family was too poor to celebrate Christmas properly.
You got my baby high!
- How you gonna be a gangsta? - I'm not one.
Whoa. Looks like your ex-boyf's moving up in the world. Heh.
Don't play me like that.
Diaper emergency! Aah! Cocaine!
Shut the fuck up, Todd!
He sees you when you're sleeping
[LAUGHS]
GOD: This is God. - Daddy?
WAFFLEBOT: Kumar.
Like three months ago.
Just shoot this motherfucker, people come.
What are you doing?
Tinkle on the windshield is the grossest thing...
I know.
She promised us we could have that tree. Okay? Thank you.
Give me the stuff.
Oh, God!
What the fuck?
Yeah, how the fuck?
Yeah, anything.
...that has ever happened to me.
What?
KUMAR: Just hold on a second, all right?
( FLUSHING IN DISTANCE )
28 DE NOVIEMBRE SOLO EN CINES
It's glorious. Isn't it Christian?
And I'll see what I can do about your parents' ugly divorce, Caren.
...never seen VH1's Behind the Music?
We saw you get shot.
Uh, I'm not gonna let you...
...I was heartbroken.
Hollywood Hearsay. Is it true that you're replacing Regis?
No, dude, come on. You got this. Feel it.
No, no, no! No, no, no!
Then he
[BABY CRYING]
I actually have not shaved since you left. Pretty romantic.
It's gonna be amazing!