Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

The second the priest...
Oh, my God. I'm so excited.
[SOBBING]
...35 seconds.
I see what you're doing.
Dude, everything's Claymated!
Just a Christmas tree?
You guys are too cute.
No. Nobody's dying, Claus. Not on my watch.
Can we drop this tree off at Sulu's and head to the city?
You're freaking me out.
You better not pout I'm tellin' you why
Introducing WaffleBot.
- Aah! KUMAR: Go!
[GULPS]
So how do we do this?
TODD: Harry.
Koreans have killed his mother, and now this tree. Christmas is ruined.
ANNOUNCER [OVER SPEAKERS]: And now, ladies and gentlemen...
It is I, the B-I-G, the B-O-I
MADEA: What was you doing? You supposed to be at school.
What? No.
HAROLD: My name and your address. That's weird.
[BOTH LAUGH]
- We hit this, we win. BORIS: No matter. There's no way...
I came downstairs this morning...
That's not helpful!
Now we're getting tinkled on.
Merry Christmas Pancakes are fucking gay
Oh, my God. WaffleBot.
You know, it's kind of better than a window.
...but is that all it takes? - Yes.
I guard while you kill the power.
Oh, nobody dies while Claymated.
SANTA: Well, I guess...
A couple squeaks got by...
Is it like the scene from A Christmas Story?
...ovulating.
What did Vanessa do to suck...
Oh, hi there. Somebody's looking...
That's not good. No.
You ruined christmas You ruined christmas
...the big time!
KUMAR: Oh, shit. - Shit.
Thank you. I love you guys.
Jesus, what a cockblock.
Yeah, you have no fucking idea, dude.
Yeah, that's why I...
Uh-uh.
GROW THE FUCK UP NOAHDOESYARNS
Aah! Okay, I need this room...
...rape my friend on Christmas Eve. He's married.
And he had pubes.
GUSTAV: Mary would...
It's a miracle!
Santa, can you hear me?
HAROLD: What the fuck?
No. Hey, no.
Yo! Idiots!
What about my car?
I mean, I'm Jesus Christ.
Maybe if you acted more like an adult, you'd get invited to adult parties.
Pussy's not like yogurt. It has an expiration date.
[IN ENGLISH] Rosetta Stone.
Bis, pecs, this one.
...opportunity to work with you.
NARRATOR [ON TV]: Has this ever happened to you?
She...
ADRIAN: Right. Don't talk about it.
Shit!
...you could say, yes, a Christmas tree is a big deal.
Little bit, yeah.
We'll drive around till we find the right tree.
- Is this a joke? KUMAR: Hold the fuck on.
They sold out months ago.
This is fucked up.
Is there a...?
Wake up! Wake up!
Please, let me wake up and find a big, beautiful Christmas tree.
...two reasonable guys...
...that handsome man.
Do you want to come in for a drink...
This is like that...
- Find the girl, get the tree. Come on. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
...because we got precious cargo...
[GIGGLES]
Holy shit. Neil.
His name is Seth Goldstein. For Christ's sake!
And we didn't have the rollback rule...
We practiced safe sex.
Except, see, in our day, it was called Beirut.
What the hell's going on?
We got another one.
Yeah.
Sorry. I can't help you there.
As they say in my country:
Make sure we can get the tree, you got a deal.
You said you were going to...
No, not yet. But he's a huge fan of Christmas. I'm hoping when he sees...
We got another customer.
So hot, NPH.
- And a DeLorean. - Yes.
Ugh. What did I tell you about using tongue?
The tree is removable?
Uh, either way, it doesn't matter. Hey, ladies.
If it's a baby I gotta give you, it's a baby you're gonna get.
[GRUNTING]
Whoa, why is Vanessa calling you?
MARY: Oh, my God. Adrian, is that you?
Yuri, light them up.
We've been trying for like a... For a year.
MARIA: Daddy.
They gave my daughter ecstasy.
...you'd pull out all the stops too.
I haven '1' heard back. What's going on?
What?
Fck!
...of cold out here. Let's get you a nice meal.
Fuck it, I'm in.
Stop, just give me a two-minute break. Aah!
KUMAR: This is great!
- Ava! Ava! - Shh!
Or both.
I didn't flunk out of med school. I failed a drug test.