Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

He's probably putting her to bed or something.
Yeah. It's gonna be...
I know this is your first time, so I'm gonna be extra gentle.
We wish you a merry Christmas
Three French hens
Just got reserved.
[CHUCKLES]
Jonbenet, I'm talking to you, sweetie.
Don't pee on me!
You'd like this bag of crack.
[MARIA SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Prepare for the winter of your discontent
Because you weren't brought up...
Prepare for the winter of your discontent
You can curse in front of me. Baby's not here.
Heh. The last time you hit on a chick, you had to ask for her beeper number.
Yeah, like anyone's gonna believe that.
The motherfucking slums that's busted
This is my friend, Todd.
[COUGHS]
MARIA: Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
[RETCHES]
Kind of like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook.
On, Blitzen! Hyah!
I don't know if we should.
I know I don't have to.
...have a long and probably beautiful history together.
Holy shit!
Why does it always have to be Gustav?
MADEA: The best revenge you can have on somebody that told you that...
Who is this toolbox?
- Good win. - Thanks, kid.
...called the Kama Sutra? JESUS: Come on, Neil.
It doesn't taste like semen.
KUMAR: All right.
What?
That was the only 12-foot Fraser fir left in the fucking state.
What? No.
So she can come down from her trip. Fantastic.
Do you not know...
[GIGGLES]
Kumar? You kidding me? I haven't seen that guy in years.
- Oh. - Oh.
It is a G-D shame.
Nice.
Neil Patrick Harris. My man.
La-la!
Can I play angry black guy this time?
What's up? What are you...?
What the fuck that mean?
[ALL SCREAM]
Thank you so much, Mr. Patrick Harris.
Dude, it's the balls.
...lost their virginity in 7th grade.
[GROANING]
Wu-Tang Clan ain't
So I guess...
I got a virgin to fuck!
I thought weed stunted fertility. That's why I quit.
- And I reserved it. - You got it?
...in the world. Let's discuss. - Come on, man!
You two have always been good boys.
Wanna start? I'll kick your ass...
...Harold, and Happy New Year!
Dude, it's a WaffleBot.
- Shots. JESUS: Yeah, thanks. Couple of shots.
Oh, God.
[SNIFFS]
...no idea what they're missing.
Get the fuck...
...presents to deliver.
I Hate Pancakes.
[GUN CLICKING]
...that a lot of times when I got high...
Of course you should.
...I kind of burned it down.
Do they really think we care what poor people think?
- All right. - Cheers.
BARTENDER: What can we get for you? NEIL & BARTENDERS: Whiskey.
Wait, look at this fir.
It's all a big misunderstanding.
I'll even quit weed if I have to.
HAROLD: This douche did.
No.
Should we do something?
...got nothing on me.
- Okay, good. Let's go. - Whoo!
Why don't you lay on the bed?
I'm guessing...
Dude, you're overreacting. There's plenty of tree lots.
Then it's what it looks like.
You can't back out of Daddy-Daughter Day...
I can get heartburn without thinking I'm having a stroke.
You're welcome, Kumar.
And the whole family...
...dude, but if I was you, I would steer clear.
Okay, Daddy's gonna get you changed. Daddy is gonna get you...
Hi...
- In my dressing room, five minutes. - Yes!
We wish you a merry Christmas
[GRUNTS]
Uh, a little woozy.
I'm begging you!
Dude, relax. It's gonna wear off soon.
Daddy-Daughter Day.
- It's coming! MAN: Wake up! Wake up!
Jesus...?
How do you feel, Mr. Claus?
I'm just teasing you.
I had Hanukkah Hash, but the kids from Temple Shalom Immanuel cleaned me out.
Hey...
- And sing at my niece's quinceañera. - All right, I'll sing.
Just let me just...
What do you think we light the gasoline with?
Mr. Lee!
- Two years ago. - So...
- Here you go. - Oh, thank you.
That was a misunderstanding.
I said step aside.
I've been growing her for eight years.
Wait a second, that's why you quit weed?
- Isn't that right? ls Grandma a bitch? - No.
We have to get rid of it before it kills Christmas.
- I... SANTA: Ha, ha. Don't worry.
You owe me a tree, punk.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
So I'm just gonna pour a little bit on. Probably gonna sting for a second.
[VANESSA CHUCKLING]
Sex Naked
TODD: Yah!
...it made me realize how important you are to me.
I'm sorry.