Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

No.
To town
KUMAR: Whoa! - Shit!
Ahh.
- Oh. MR. PEREZ: Twelve-foot Fraser fir.
...a fabulous, amazing dream watching you perform.
I'm sorry, do you want us to play you in beer pong?
She said it?
Are you really hot? I'm, like, hot...
- I mean, my dad owns it but... - Ha, ha. You're one of those.
[RAISES VOLUME]
I was wondering if...
Stop yelling!
How do you think they stay so clean?
Ha-ha-ha. Not bad, Roldy.
You hungry?
...these are incredible waffles.
...you best show me some fucking respect.
[ALL GASP]
VANESSA: Kumar! It's Vanessa.
Can I just speak to him, please?
He's getting a handjob in my club.
Come on in.
Go. Go.
Come on, man, it's Christmas.
[BIG BOI'S DADDY FAT SAX PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
...in your living room, he'll jizz all over it.
With a brand-new swag
This was fun. But I got...
[WHIMPERING]
Bye, Harold.
[GRUNTS]
A queefer.
This is the part where the kid's tongue...
Oh, I know it wasn't your fault.
- What's up? Where's Mary? TEEN: I don't know...
But, Harold, weed is so good.
- That went bad. - I thought it went good.
We take it to your place, and when Maria's dad comes home...
Okay. Well, then, fuck it, dude.
You people are real good with those things.
You have anything to smoke out of?
- Todd? Yeah, he's a lot of fun. - At least he doesn't...
Yeah, I do, actually. My face is feeling kind of numb.
Now, come on and fuck a baby into me.
Santa Claus is comin' to town
TODD: Excuse me?
Just let me have the rock.
Party's over!
I love you too, little guy.
What are you doing?
Dude, everything's stop motion animated!
Would you guys be excited to meet him?
Oh, it's a Weederful Life.
Oh, my God.
You know what, Gustav?
[BOTH YELL]
HAROLD: Would you stop?
Just gonna come on the stage.
Hey! Let's take a picture. Everybody!
TODD: What are we doing here, Harry?
...and now it is dead.
Christmas! Easter! Fishing! Hunting! I tie knots on a sailboat.
Glad your family's here.
Fa-la-la-Ia-la, la-la
It was ridiculous. I used to call her Queen Laqueefa.
[WHISTLE]
No, it's fine. Aah!
...a decorated tree, but they are gonna see that.
Kumar.
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
Come on, have a seat.
Hey, guys, stop!
Go and get some rest, huh? Make yourself fresh...
[MOANS]
...so familiar?
TODD [SINGING]: Three French hens
[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]
Oh, great. Great. This is just great.
I always knew you were a nice guy.
Give me a second.
Get it over here. Hurry the fuck up!
You're in charge of distracting them.
I thought those hippies were gonna kill you.
Eww
...or something?
- Ow. - Sorry.
ROSENBERG: You are gonna catch your death...
- You know what this is about? - What?
- It's better than the photograph. - Ha, ha.
Hey, some people like the holidays.
Oh. Ha, ha. I'm sorry.
Hey, douche?
I went to the park.
Excuse me, uh, Neil. But I'm Jesus. So...
...Santa Claus in the fucking face. He's real, and I shot him in the face.
...uh, very merry today.
Anybody here?
If we beat you, we kick your asses out and take all your motherfucking cash. Ha, ha.
She's very delicate.
You can really feel it.
When there's someone who doesn't stop talking
[GIGGLING]
I guess I haven't found...
NARRATOR: How about this?
- Still hits the spot. HAROLD: I know, right?
...and be responsible doesn't necessarily mean...
He almost spotted us! I'm supposed to be at home with the tree.
A fucking mini-mall in Des Moines?
GUSTAV: But first...
It's Christmas Eve, okay? What do you expect?
If you beat us...
- Did you get the potpourri balls? - Yes.
That's too bad. Uh, the tree?
Now take it off.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
These dirty Jew bastards have...
Neil Patrick Harris. I played Private Carl Jenkins...
- You know what? - What's that?
[WHISPERS] Probably less.
All my other friends...
- ...the man... - Look at these firs.
Don't listen to these guys. It takes balls to do what you're doing.
...stop and get some disgusting food for her.
Dead squirrel.
Lie still. You've been in a terrible accident. I'm gonna take a closer look.
[CHATTERING]