Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Oh, here it goes. Here it goes.

This house, I promise you, is gonna be perfect.

I'm sorry, where are my manners? Here. Here.

It gets you high.

Oh. Oh, this is...

Here's what we do.

TODD: Aah! Where are we going?

...grandpa, dude? I'm barely 30.

I am gay! Gay for that pussy!

And I went to heaven.

Please, I don't know what we've done, but please let us go.

Holy shit! Dude, you're Claymated!

I just saw this scene.

We'll go get ourselves a Christmas beer.

Not a big deal?

Oh, sorry, sir.

...Is trying to act like an adult...

Okay. You got it.

ADRIAN: Ow, ow.

...getting fatter.

Do you not have time?

Just remember, next time you take a drug test...

I wouldn't miss it, man.

Bah, bah, bah! Not the throw pillows!

KUMAR [IN ENGLISH]: Wait. I just realized I can probably make my balls bigger too...

Hold on. There's something...

We gotta get rid of this tree!

Then I slip off to the side and take out the archbishop.

Wow, you look just like

Does she have a tail or something? What?

[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]

Testicles, right?

I can come back later.

I can get you one of those Christmas trees?

I don't have anyone else to confide in. I might as well tell you. Uh...

...off! MARY: Oh, God!

MAN: I told you not to aim for the face.

All right, um...

DAVID: What stuff? - The stuff.

...our cholesterol. - Yeah, I know.

I left my wallet upstairs. Thank you.

HAROLD: All right. - Waffle break?

Shut up. The tree.

I can't believe you'd invite Vanessa and not tell me.

Clay Aiken's not gay?

...for a serious diaper situation. So I will ask you to stop...

Troll the ancient yuletide carol

ST. PETER: Make room! Make room! VIP!

HAROLD: What the fuck?!

Sorry, I'm trying my best

I'm really high.

Give me the phone to Dad.

There's not really a... We should get going. We got a Christmas tree emergency.

Why don't you guys just sit down and I'll get that tree all wrapped up for you.

Dude, you're in luck. There's still coffee in here.

Generation Z, here's your ball back.

It's like Maria's dad's tree.

- For my present... - Hey!

HAROLD: She's upstairs...

Had plenty of fun times with weed. But I'm an adult now.

You look like an Indian Don Draper.

- Heh-heh-heh. MOM: George, call 911!

See? You're laughing. You're having fun. Admit it:

MARIA: Wow! Oh, my God.

- Thanks. NEIL: No problem.

You steal his gun.

Shut this motherfucker up, would you?

That tree was a Perez...

Maybe we can...

Dude, seriously...

VANESSA: When's the last time you cleaned?

I don't know, but they're fucking studs.

You didn't get the lighter.

...the right song for her yet.

Harold? He hasn't lived here in so long.

Tell that to my father-in-law.

What more could a Latino father-in-law ask for?

Take your sweater off.

There were lasers.

It's too risky. I haven't done that in forever.

...52 Aquos Quattron TV...

In that whorehouse.

You might be able to...?

What it is, pimp, player...

Ice to see you.

Great to see you guys.

[WHISPERS] Hello, old friend.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Smells like junk in here.

What? No. No Wu-Tang, okay? Christmas music. I like it.

- Get her off me! - Right, sorry, sorry!

No. Miss? Miss? That's incorrect.

...because Emma says that leads to abandonment issues...

- What is wrong with her? TEENS: Ha-ha-ha.

...that makes Avatar look Avatar-ded.

Oh, no, no, no.

You're not gay, motherfucker.

You ruined Christmas!

Get the fuck off me

- I'm talking about Mary. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Virgin Mary.

I'm going to rock your world.

What happened to the tree is, uh...

You have to take me.

...we won't be able...

I haven't slept with anyone since we broke up.

...we have some killing to do.

- Well... - If I were you...

Two-hander. Okay. Ha-ha-ha.

Let's have some sex before you get all fat on me.

[WOMAN SCREAMS LOUDLY] [GASPS]: What's that noise?

Guys our age need to watch...

- I'll get changed and be right over. - I'll see you then.

Well, I don't really have anything on underneath, $0...