Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

We'll go get ourselves a Christmas beer.

Let's have some sex before you get all fat on me.

This house, I promise you, is gonna be perfect.

You might be able to...?

Generation Z, here's your ball back.

What happened to the tree is, uh...

I can't believe you'd invite Vanessa and not tell me.

Does she have a tail or something? What?

HAROLD: She's upstairs...

I can get you one of those Christmas trees?

[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]

I can come back later.

Get the fuck off me

Well, I don't really have anything on underneath, $0...

Tell that to my father-in-law.

I don't know, but they're fucking studs.

Wow, you look just like

Here's what we do.

Testicles, right?

- I'll get changed and be right over. - I'll see you then.

KUMAR [IN ENGLISH]: Wait. I just realized I can probably make my balls bigger too...

What more could a Latino father-in-law ask for?

Guys our age need to watch...

No. Miss? Miss? That's incorrect.

Troll the ancient yuletide carol

Do you not have time?

Clay Aiken's not gay?

Great to see you guys.

You didn't get the lighter.

HAROLD: What the fuck?!

It's like Maria's dad's tree.

Harold? He hasn't lived here in so long.

Oh, sorry, sir.

- Heh-heh-heh. MOM: George, call 911!

...off! MARY: Oh, God!

- Get her off me! - Right, sorry, sorry!

In that whorehouse.

- Well... - If I were you...

I'm sorry, where are my manners? Here. Here.

Shut up. The tree.

- Thanks. NEIL: No problem.

...grandpa, dude? I'm barely 30.

There were lasers.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- For my present... - Hey!

Maybe we can...

It gets you high.

HAROLD: All right. - Waffle break?

Then I slip off to the side and take out the archbishop.

Two-hander. Okay. Ha-ha-ha.

[WHISPERS] Hello, old friend.

MAN: I told you not to aim for the face.

Holy shit! Dude, you're Claymated!

...our cholesterol. - Yeah, I know.

Dude, seriously...

Oh. Oh, this is...

...because Emma says that leads to abandonment issues...

Not a big deal?

Oh, here it goes. Here it goes.

We gotta get rid of this tree!

I am gay! Gay for that pussy!

...for a serious diaper situation. So I will ask you to stop...

You look like an Indian Don Draper.

Had plenty of fun times with weed. But I'm an adult now.

Why don't you guys just sit down and I'll get that tree all wrapped up for you.

Please, I don't know what we've done, but please let us go.

Give me the phone to Dad.

...Is trying to act like an adult...

...the right song for her yet.

[WOMAN SCREAMS LOUDLY] [GASPS]: What's that noise?

DAVID: What stuff? - The stuff.

Bah, bah, bah! Not the throw pillows!

Just remember, next time you take a drug test...

That tree was a Perez...

...52 Aquos Quattron TV...

...we won't be able...

Take your sweater off.

I just saw this scene.

And I went to heaven.

Sorry, I'm trying my best

Shut this motherfucker up, would you?

There's not really a... We should get going. We got a Christmas tree emergency.

...getting fatter.

I'm going to rock your world.

...that makes Avatar look Avatar-ded.

I haven't slept with anyone since we broke up.

Dude, you're in luck. There's still coffee in here.

What it is, pimp, player...

All right, um...

MARIA: Wow! Oh, my God.

Oh, no, no, no.

I wouldn't miss it, man.

You ruined Christmas!

I don't have anyone else to confide in. I might as well tell you. Uh...

Okay. You got it.

You steal his gun.

What? No. No Wu-Tang, okay? Christmas music. I like it.

ST. PETER: Make room! Make room! VIP!

You're not gay, motherfucker.

You have to take me.

- What is wrong with her? TEENS: Ha-ha-ha.

ADRIAN: Ow, ow.

See? You're laughing. You're having fun. Admit it:

Hold on. There's something...

VANESSA: When's the last time you cleaned?

- I'm talking about Mary. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Virgin Mary.

I left my wallet upstairs. Thank you.

Ice to see you.

TODD: Aah! Where are we going?

...we have some killing to do.

It's too risky. I haven't done that in forever.

I'm really high.

Smells like junk in here.