Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

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Okay, listen up!
You're hot, girl.
KUMAR: Please don't do that.
I know, so do I.
We were doing last-minute shopping with my boy here when we saw you...
That's a little something we magicians call misdirection.
...unsafe, but it did save our lives.
WAFFLEBOTS [SINGING]: I played my drum for him
[GRUNTS]
I am gay. Gay for that pussy.
Don't you get it?
- Yeah, hug it out. - All right.
It never works.
[LAUGHING]
This coming Easter...
[CHATTERING]
What do you think?
BOTH: Holy shit!
Dude, do you feel kind of weird?
HAROLD: Dude!
- Oh, you brought Ava. - Uh, yeah, sorry. I have Ava.
Hey, Gracie, chin up.
Wouldn't you?
Carlos, Merry Christmas.
...to deflower her.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Fuck!
...more protesters?
Yeah, and maybe just because the other one.
...so you can suck my rich, yellow...
...about Harry, huh?
- You lost your gangsta grill. - I know.
Why?
You really think Neil can get us one of those trees?
Are you going soft on me?
Yeah, we are, but your dad is Sergei Katsov? Heh.
KUMAR [IN HINDI]:
...since I'm Claymated. HAROLD: You're such a fucking asshole.
LOOK AT ALL MYSE PENSIES NOW WE CANT SHOW THIS A CHURCH AAAAAAAAAAA
This is my house.
We wish you a merry Christmas
Oh, what the fuck?
[HAROLD & KUMAR YELLING]
Oh, wow, look at that.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
- Toss it back. KUMAR: Who you calling...
Okay. On the menu today, we have:
- You did? SANTA: Yes.
What? What douche came up with that rule?
I'm sorry, we don't have tickets.
GUSTAV: You stupid...
Nothing. Let's just go.
- Quadruple. - Stop.
Because it is a big deal.
Gay for that pussy
God, does everything have to be about Christmas?
Hey, man, I can take the blame for that, all right?
Thank you. That's very sweet of you.
[BOTH YELL]
...but your daughter, sir, was the one who was trying to rape us.
[GARGLES]
[SANTA CHUCKLES]
Shit.
Don't just scream!
MR. PEREZ: Where's the tree?
If you're looking for trees, you should know we do custom work.
...I promise you I will go back to the medical board, I'll get my job back.
Black ice! It's real!
...all right? Heh. And just remember...
- I don't mind helping out... - I got it.
Crawled up the water spout
Dragons
...a different time and place, but that doesn't change the fact that you...
Now!
You know I got Fred Savage on speed dial.
Everybody's got a potty mouth these days.
On, Prancer! On, Comet! On, Blitzen! Hyah!
So me and him, we're not gonna...
...all my Jewish neurosis and self-hatred just washed right off.
Oh, my clay back!
But hopefully more. Heh.
Dude, I need this tree.
Hey, merry Christmas, guys. We'll see you in the fourth one.
Want me to call you a cab...
I remember the day they announced the rule. Same day I kicked a little bitch's ass at it.
I love those sconces.
Get the fuck off of me!
Aah, aah. Hey! Whoa.
That's why you gotta buy those faux trees. They last forever.
Little trick I learned...
- Ha, ha. - Oh, man. Thanks, WaffleBot.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Hey, this place is, like, not shitty.
Hey.
Forget it. Just...
You got it. Merry Christmas, Santa.
Thank you so much for this...
...the life out of you...
Uh, I inadvertently introduced a baby to cocaine.
- This is my friend, Adrian. HAROLD: Oh.
- We're gonna die. We're gonna die. - What?
KUMAR: I am doing it!
TODD: I do not care for the language...
- [WHISPERS] Why didn't you tell me? - [MOUTHS] I'm sorry.
pancakes.
...you get the tree.
...but that was impressive.
oh my god, what happened you penis Why is this a giant penis?
I didn't want her to be...