Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

...out there. - No, thanks, Kenneth.

Kumar, I really need to talk to you.

Oh. I guess Timo...

MR. PEREZ: It's a miracle!

I can run it again.

I'll be right back. I'm just gonna drop this off.

[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]

- Thank you. - Don't respond to him.

Stop watching me in the bathroom!

Gat's coming out

LAMAR: Oh, I got you now.

When I saw what Harold did for his family tonight...

I'll tell the elves.

Yeah, I was gonna say, it looks like you guys got some awesome sconces.

...to come to the party.

- Did you Pledge the banister? - Check.

...but I'm gonna squirt some lotion on your back in about...

I already asked him. He said no. He's spending Christmas...

I'll take care of the tree. You have a family night in Manhattan.

What? No! Of course not. You could do both.

Oh, wow. And you stunned fans when you said you were gay.

Ha-ha-ha. So are you!

...and then stripping and meth and biker boyfriend.

Die, motherfucker!

- Aah! - Oh, my God.

I don't understand what it is with you people and your trees.

Start talking! Now!

It was like being famous...

I'm so sorry. Wow.

GOLDSTEIN: For us Christians...

Tonight. Christmas Eve.

https://x.com/pettuswx/status/2000993341521932787?s=46&t=L99Z0LujD4Qah6g4texq8Q

BOTH: Thanks, WaffleBot!

[HAROLD & KUMAR YELLING]

Am I missing something?

It's an investment, really.

No, don't say do svidaniya.

Oh, it's okay. It's just a couple girlfriends.

...some sort of a warm liquid. I'll spit on it.

Has she seen your dick? Is it bigger than mine?

Are you celebrating a real Christmas or a faux one?!

How do I even know...

This is like Duvalier Dank from October.

HAROLD: I didn't know the nuns all showered in the same room.

But this may be the last chance we've got.

Yeah, realistic, not fucking gay as shit.

...the best way to communicate with a child.

...my daughter...

You are here a little early, right. You didn't go to that bathroom, did you?

Relax. It's not what it looks like.

I don't smoke any more.

Cool about the clothes.

...be able to make your party.

Hold on. We'll drop the tree off and then we'll go get you your virgin.

Here's one we did for Ja Rule. Ha-ha-ha.

- Hello? VANESSA: Kumar?

[SINGING] Deck the halls with boughs of holly

No. When Maria's dad...

Any luck with the tree?

- Baby. Then let's get to it. - Oh!

Doesn't explain the gay thing.

- I wouldn't say best... Yes. - Yeah. Yep. Besties.

Nothing about lighter.

Maybe he fucks up all the time.

She bled to death.

Stop for Daddy. Shh, shh! Please!

I won't fuck her!

For a massage. Heh.

- Start talking. - Okay.

Tell me what is it about.

WOMAN: Back of the line, tech support!

Dude, you are not depriving me of this:

Wall Street sucks! Wall Street sucks!

Just walk it off.

...by a gang of Korean punks.

This here's my partner in crime, Lamar.

I love you too.

Really? A tree farm'?

I can't... I can't...

So, what's up with this package?

NEIL: It'll be tough between...

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

You've all been waiting for:

Karate Kid style.

KUMAR: If I was a tree farmer...

MADEA: Who told you that?

You better watch out You better not cry

...How I Met Your Mother and charity work, but we'll see.

I'm just wondering...

What do you say, GUYS?

It's not humanely male?

GRACIE: Excuse me, Neil?

Okay, great. Now she's having a bad trip.

Oh, this is not good.

You look better. Hi.

I don't know. Hasn't the 3D thing jumped the shark by now?

Probably because they're scared.

TODD: Unh, ah! Ava!

What...? What are you doing? You can't just...

[HAROLD GRUNTS]

Oh. That reminds me. Remember that chick I met on the Internet?

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

I can read your mind.

HAROLD: I can't get her...

...I have an appointment to get uncircumcised.

No. No, no, no.

One more thing! Merry Christmas to you...