Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

BOTH: Oh, shit!
...loser! - Give me another chance!
No fucking way.
(A woman sneezing) Ah-choo! Gesundheit. Gezondheid. (A woman sneezing) Ah-choo! Gesundheit. Gezondheid.
...and kid. I'm out of here.
I mean, I love kids.
Harold?
[COUGHS]
Aah!
My dick's stuck to a pole!
Aah. Where's my baby?
- What? - What?
You celebrating real Christmas...
Doesn't mean the other should forget about the good times.
That was you at the tree farm? You took my tree?
It's like a stained-glass window of paper.
Who is this? Who is Glasses?
A WaffleBot.
First of all, don't ever take the Lord's name in vain, not after...
Listen to me. I need you to go into Santa's gift bag...
No, I shouldn't.
I think that'll do it.
[WHISTLES THEN SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Relax. I can feel the road. It's not that bad.
The fuck?
[ADRIAN CHUCKLES]
[SANTA CHUCKLES]
Scared of... What are they scared of, though?
Maria is my wife.
It's pretty fucking sweet.
But wasn't there a time you actually used to get along? You might be in...
[HAROLD & KUMAR YELLING]
TODD: Wow, the Jewish neighbors must hate this.
It's a faux tree Actually
I'm running out of time. I gotta be back with a tree by 2 a.m.
like I imagined it
KUMAR: Oh, no, no.
...doesn't bother me a bit.
A little more expensive.
Because I think I was starting to trip out back there a little bit.
Heh, heh. Word. Word. My boy here, same way.
Hey, Adrian. I can't wait to finally meet you.
So you guys need a ride or something?
Kumar?
Oh, God!
- Hey. Hey. HAROLD: What are you doing?
...dick!
Is there somewhere we can eat?
That's awesome.
Yeah. They're probably fine, right?
[ADRIAN SPEAKS IN YIDDISH]
You're right, I don't have to.
Why not ask your roommate?
Does everybody know about this party?
You said, Come with me if you want to live.
[GRUNTS]
[MR. PEREZ SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
God! I thought you were gay!
We need to 86 NPH ASAP.
I love you.
- Think about me. - All right.
Don't worry, Mr. Lee. I'll distract them.
...toy of the season while they're hot.
No, no! No more cocaine!
He's young.
...I'd really like it if you came over tomorrow.
[IN RUSSIAN]
Triple.
...fucking moron!
Oh, shit.
Are you sure we have to...
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
Maria!
...in the early '90s.
[OVER SPEAKERS] Unh, reporting live from the kitchen
- Time. - What?
- Put money in my account. - You got it. Done.
Ah!
...is to prove them wrong. I went to that school and I got your homework.
Do you have any bars?
...she promised me we would have...
You're here a little early. You didn't go to the bathroom?
- Was that directed to me? KUMAR: Yeah, douche.
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
When did you turn into Mr. Rap-Hop-Expert?
All right. Merry Christmas!
- Cool. - All right.
Blend. Blend. Blend.
Oh, my God, you guys aren't even dressed? Jesus fucking Christ!
Let's get out of here.
So is he.
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo, shoo, shoo!
He knows when you're awake
Ha, ha. I ruined your...?
You're a dream. I'm having...
Oh, yeah.
Four
TODD: Thank you, Adrian.
We're just here to pick up a tree that we reserved.
Pancakes are fucking gay.
Your dad is gonna be here any minute, though. Honestly, that's...
Excuse me?
I'm on cocaine.
No, dude, I don't understand.
DIRECTOR: All right, that's a cut. Great job
Hey! Neighbor.
Start talking.
You got my daughter drunk?
Very intense wording.
Kumar, you're acting ridiculous, okay? Goodbye.
You think you can buy the black man's soul.
Just give me a minute, all right, man? Probably less. Heh.
Harry. Unh! No, no, no.
This is why I tell you not to have people over.
[GRUNTS]
...why are we dropping off this package? You said this guy was a chode.
- Hey. - I was...
...but when it comes to cleaning one up...
I like it.
Mm.