Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

There's no putting things right. She fucking hates me.

Tom Brady could do that.

And then you can say whatever you want.

This is art. Get it?

But you've got to make some money

My relationship is at a very delicate stage, you know.

Do you need a lift?

Idiot saying nonsense

Something I call a Dirty Fozzie.

(SCREAMING IN PAIN)

submitted here is the story of a little boy

Not a bad life, is it?

No, like a fucking circular gold thing on her finger.

Yeah, Dad, I made a wish last night that Teddy was alive

I don't ever want to lose anyone who matters to me ever again.

I'm alive, Johnny!

Teddy rux fucking pin

What am I? Emperor Ming, here, controlling your mind?

I love you, too. (LAUGHING) And you're nasty.

but my son and I couldn't help but admire your teddy bear.

The company's having their 20th anniversary party next week.

You better never show your face around Quincy

FUCK YOU, MONSTERS INC YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK

NARRATOR: Before long, Teddy had become a huge celebrity

So, where are John and Teddy today?

Po Po Po Po Power with BEARGLOVE!!!

I want you to be happy. You deserve that.

John, wait. Listen.

TED: THAT’S MY BAD I WAS SENDING A FUCK LEBRON TWEET.

That's good, I guess.

Final Destination sucks! the boys rocks.

will you marry me?

That took Guts We need guts

Come on, nobody's expecting anybody to propose.

Fantastic stop fantastic

Hey, buddies. Where is it hanging?

Yeah, I'm kind of a fun-time boss and what-not.

What are you, five years old?

Butdad Get over here

Fuck you, thunder You can suck my dick

You know, this place looks great.

is that you go on a fun, casual date

Tom Brady could do that

And, by the way, my dancing was not that bad.

Kim’s new car after the hail storm

So, it's funny that that didn't come up.

(LAUGHING) Yeah.

You owe me lobsta money

And I thought you were the most amazing,

All right? He'll be all yours.

Put your finger in my tag Polly

Isn't love enough? I submit that love is enough.

I know it sucks, but otherwise I'm going to lose her.

Chuck E. Cheese’s rocks for yo Chuck E. Cheese’s rocks fucling pen

I mean, when you think about it,

Glad to hear it.

I'm serious, John. I went over to talk to her

If I get raped, it'll be my fault for what I'm wearing.

Mindy, Noelle, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra,

You Italian? No.

I got to have a talk with my weed guy

Justin I have so much Teddy Bear paperwork I have to get to, it is sick.

I'm not gay. I know.

Chris Brown can do no wrong.

and my wish came true.

Now, Ted, you belong to Robert now, okay? You do as he says.

I’m gonna stuff my fucking face with Pepperidge Farms

Things are great, actually.

Well, as it turned out,

This bullshit! This all bullshit!

But I read at a six-year-old level, so...

Yeah. I did wish for it.

I'm like hey what's up seen your pretty die in hell As you came in the door

Oh, my God, it always looks so great! I always want to fucking brush it!

I don't understand why you keep putting up with him.

I love you girls.

Yeah, I'd rather just not talk about it.

You know what? You're acting like a cock. You know that?

I don't know. I just wish he would get his life together.

Do you see me fucking with you? All right, speed round.

close, personal friends with gary gensler

I gotta fuck her again.

I just farted. That was a man fart.

(MOUTHING) Hi. Tom Skerritt.

Are you in one of those gay beat up clubs or something

Ted, you gotta move out.

Morgan Roberts. Smallest dick I’ve ever seen on a man

Yeah, I mean, the guy's 35, and he's working for a rental car service.

Yeah, my head hurts a lot.

They said they got separated

What do you mean?

I'll help you get on your feet out there, I promise.

I'm really glad that you came.

Nigger Carlito, get over here

Robert, seatbelt.

You bweak-uh mah wall!?! I Newark-uh you wall!

Really sweetie? Well, that’s exciting.

Did you really just fart?

That special time of year

NARRATOR: And so John, Lori and Ted lived happily ever after.

An Apache helicopter has machine guns and missiles.

Tadashi, open the door, please, I want to talk.

Hug me and billy and Mandy

(AUDIENCE SHOUTING)

No, no, no. Four years, we've been going out.

Yeah, if you want.

Tourettes Guy, Tourettes Guy, Going! Going!

to get this job that I so crave.

I might be gay, I don't know.

look what McJesus did, look what McJesus did!

I told you, I can totally be a lawyer.

You want a Xanax?

I don't have to. I'm a (using censored bad word) teddy bear. I don't have to. I'm a (using censored bad word) teddy bear.

why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Rocky, fucking, Rodent!

That's a weird fucking question

No, no, it's from The Notebook.

Hi, Thomas, how are you?

A couple of Charles Brew-kowskis?

You know, Ted, when I was a little boy,

Shit, I got to get to work!

teddyruxfuckingpin

Chopped salad, half price.

The thunder can't get us, right?

We're Going To Hollywood

Just come over. I got the Cheers DVD box set

here's my address and phone number.

You didn't exactly stand up for me.

Listen, John and I may have our problems, but at least he tried.

No, I'm good. Thank you.

Every now and then when my life's

I might be gay I don’t know…

that actually sounds very appealing.

RECORDED TOY VOICE: I love you!

Fuck you, thunder! You can eat my ass!

Final Destination, Clone High, The Boys and Bob's Burgers suck! Angry Kid Rocks!

But he can never fail

You can put the ring in her ass Let her fart it out

(SCOFFS) Listen to yourself.

I JUST WANNA BRUSH THAT HAIR