Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You know you're never alone When you're with Christ

Do I dare look at the clock?

I wonder who it's going to hit first.

Oh, yeah, that was a weird interview.

Oh, fuck that! It's been four years, Johnny.

But I can give you love, and rocking horses,

It begins in 1985. We're in a nice town just outside Boston! Dude, do you believe it? I miss Boston! Jesus, please help us travel to Boston!

(EXCLAIMING FEARFULLY)

Except an Apache helicopter.

What I think when Bryce tells me he works so much

Savannah, Kasey, Dolly, Kendra, Carla, Chloe, Devon, Emmylou.

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)

And I do love her, Ted.

Tourettes Guy, Tourettes Guy, Going! Going!

But will you take care of me forever and ever?

And there he was, picking her up.

we crushed its ribcage and blew out its lungs trying to give it CPR.

I don't have to. I'm a fucking hedgehog.

There's no putting this right She fucking hates me

Yeah. Yeah, work's good.

Taylor Lautner.

Sometimes I think back to that Christmas morning

means that they are that bad.

Boom. That's me and Skerritt.

Quiet down out there. Have patience.

Well, it's not true, okay? I'm an elegant broad.

Hey, Sam, this is the guy I was telling you about.

God damn it! I'm here on business!

that took guts we need guts

You know, if your leg got trapped under a rock

and I would love it if you would go with me.

eating potato salad off of Tami-Lynn's bare bottom.

it was a huge misunderstanding,

Screw this film kindergarten cop is a gazillion times better

(SIGHS) Look, John loves you very much,

You got to let me help you make things right with you and Lori.

Usicheke hadi Uonekane jino la mwisho

I actually went through something like this with my last boyfriend.

Back off, Susan Boyle!

You can't get me Meilin Lee Cause you just Miriam's Farts

I have tickets to Norah Jones at the Hatch Shell tonight

You owe me lobster money.

fuck shit bitch ass penis cock cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits pussy damn and more swears

that made him feel as if he finally had a friend

Daddy punished me for it.

Do you know what just happened? Do you have any clue? My fucking life just ended! Well you must feel pretty stupid.

making yourself look like a pussy.

You're just like the baby jesus

the first item on our agenda is,

I will tell you. You got me?

TED: Take it easy.

Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole,

Okay, here's a test to see how much you actually care about me.

Stop it! Fuck! Why you got to take it to that place?

Hey, wanna go out.

you've been a part of our family for quite some time.

Who's that over there?

that one boy in every neighborhood

And you can call me any time, okay?

Still better than Katy Perry.

JOHN: Fucking stop! Fuck!

And slapping my nuts watch this And the land before time and littlefoot fu and be cool and children of men and inside man and Maggie and the ferocious beast and lizzie McGuire and big fat sanoussi

No, it can't be that either, right?

You're not giving anything a chance

What's going on?

Hey, Ted. (EXCLAIMS)

Jesus H. Christ!

but you've got to believe me it wasn't all his fault.

If you think that by making shit like that up

John, look, don't you think after four years

Can I... Just give me the car keys.

Timmy tuts-fucking-pin!!

I told my weed guy to step it up and he gave me that.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the orchestra

I gotta be on my own, bolt. I can't see you anymore.

Lori, you didn't mean that. No, no,no.

Tigger, how dare you see Ted? You know that Ted is disgusting! That’s it! You’re grounded grounded grounded for 10 weeks!

And, you know, I don't blame you.

Howard how old are you bring the Michelin Man into our house you're grounded No TV no fortnite no Minecraft no South Park

Well you must feel pretty stupid. Fuck!

It's unwatchable.

You're just like the Baby Jesus.

Like one of those gay beat-up clubs or something?

I'm going to have sex with your girlfriend.

Have you ever considered selling the bear?

Keemstar Dine-Stupid-Maddy!

That's great. That is great.

Oh yea! Austria can do no wrong!!!

Oh, great. Great! I think I'm gonna watch Night of the Zoopocalypse. It's what I've always watched since I was three.

well mary-jane no matter how many cups of tea a day you drink to measure yourself out too you'll still gain weight anyway. now aren't you glad i gave viv that diet plan? very. after all her ammybloodyanasersia got the better of her and boy don't only i know it. and she's not the only one i spiked her tennis now she can't get the mump.

That's your choice, John.

I fucked her with a parsnip last week

Hey, Greenbaum!

The old... Yeah, yeah.

I don't know if I can drive!

Just grab your Tundra buddy and say these magic words

All right, I love you.

Are you going to do it?

RECORDED TOY VOICE: I love you!

All I do is smoke pot and watch movies with a teddy-fucking-bear.

I just wanted John and I to be friends.

JOHN: There he is. Pull over.

This is a rant on Season 3 of the Boys. What is this?! This season needs to suck! So extremely homophobic, Insanely disgusting! I never wanna watch this season! Season 1, season 2, and season 4 are much better.

and who do you think is with him? Sam Jones.

All right, this is one man to another.

Hey, Johnny, don't forget me. I'm over here. I'm on the dashboard, remember?

Come on. It's not that bad, okay?

getting me down and things are tough,

but they don't have a gong or nothing, so it's not too bad.

Plus, you are a huge catch.

Johnny, it's the truth, I'm telling you.

With my top-of-the-pyramid Caucasian genes and your splash of

Ed thought I was ALF, and he kept muttering anti-Semitic comments.

(THUNDER CRASHING)

Screw you, pal. I belong to John Bennett.

and died of Lou Gehrig's disease.

This is a rant on The Boys. This show is so- God dammit, whoever you are. You just ranted on the boys. You should know by now that this show is not homophobic.

Go. Take Columbus to Herald and get on the expressway.

Well, do you think you're part of some gay beat-up underworld?

Jesus Christ! What the fuck, man?

I love the boys and it's so epic and awesome

niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers

Come on. She'll go home,

Look, we're very interested in the bear.

You wished for my life back.

We're totally safe. (THUNDER RUMBLING)

Yes, ma'am. Thank you for the opportunity, Miss...

Now I'm going to stuff my fucking face with Pepperidge Farm!

They found the missing hikers.

I Want Some Happy Meal

I think you're being a little more fair to him.

I don't know. I dig chicks, man.

and when I hit it, fucking buzz it.

I thought you were going to be funnier.

Oh, man. I never even got to read the manual.

that you haven't always seen Lori as a threat to our friendship.

Po Po Po Po Power with B EAR G LOVE

Hey, how are you holding up?

and the guy down at the store told me

No, Mom, he's really alive. Look.

My Kneecaps Was Squished By The TV

A magical Christmas wish is amazing! Jesus went to the cross. You're making me miss out on snowy fields. So Christmas is a holiday! Merry Christmas, dude!

Hey, squirt, how you doing? Where's your bunny rabbit?

Ha-ha. No, just you homos.

That's a great story I felt like I was there

I lost my job, my apartment and my life.

I got a shitty job, and I assure you, lam quite content.

I'm going to rattle off some names

(vvATEIWJUBBLlNG)

Po Po Po Po Power with Tigerclaw

Teddy Rux-Fucking-Pin

Ch, my God, yes! Ch, my God, yes!

Jesus, lam so sorry. I didn't see you. It was an accident.

You're going to be okay, buddy. Do you understand?

I'm gonna dock you for dinging the car

are we still going to smoke that pot?

THAT TOOK GUTS WE NEED GUTS

you're going to make me choose some kind of loyalty to you

I now pronounce you man and wife.

Is he all mine, Daddy?

Oh shit 9/11 I gotta get high