Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Lori, you didn't mean that. No, no,no.

Howard how old are you bring the Michelin Man into our house you're grounded No TV no fortnite no Minecraft no South Park

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)

Go. Take Columbus to Herald and get on the expressway.

I gotta be on my own, bolt. I can't see you anymore.

Okay, here's a test to see how much you actually care about me.

I fucked her with a parsnip last week

Come on. She'll go home,

but they don't have a gong or nothing, so it's not too bad.

The old... Yeah, yeah.

Teddy Rux-Fucking-Pin

Is he all mine, Daddy?

I'm going to have sex with your girlfriend.

Well, do you think you're part of some gay beat-up underworld?

we crushed its ribcage and blew out its lungs trying to give it CPR.

the first item on our agenda is,

I actually went through something like this with my last boyfriend.

All I do is smoke pot and watch movies with a teddy-fucking-bear.

means that they are that bad.

and who do you think is with him? Sam Jones.

There's no putting this right She fucking hates me

Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole,

And I do love her, Ted.

We're totally safe. (THUNDER RUMBLING)

Like one of those gay beat-up clubs or something?

But I can give you love, and rocking horses,

well mary-jane no matter how many cups of tea a day you drink to measure yourself out too you'll still gain weight anyway. now aren't you glad i gave viv that diet plan? very. after all her ammybloodyanasersia got the better of her and boy don't only i know it. and she's not the only one i spiked her tennis now she can't get the mump.

What I think when Bryce tells me he works so much

This is a rant on The Boys. This show is so- God dammit, whoever you are. You just ranted on the boys. You should know by now that this show is not homophobic.

All right, this is one man to another.

Boom. That's me and Skerritt.

I will tell you. You got me?

I wonder who it's going to hit first.

My Kneecaps Was Squished By The TV

With my top-of-the-pyramid Caucasian genes and your splash of

Hey, Johnny, don't forget me. I'm over here. I'm on the dashboard, remember?

Do you know what just happened? Do you have any clue? My fucking life just ended! Well you must feel pretty stupid.

Screw this film kindergarten cop is a gazillion times better

You know, if your leg got trapped under a rock

Tigger, how dare you see Ted? You know that Ted is disgusting! That’s it! You’re grounded grounded grounded for 10 weeks!

Oh, fuck that! It's been four years, Johnny.

Still better than Katy Perry.

This is a rant on Season 3 of the Boys. What is this?! This season needs to suck! So extremely homophobic, Insanely disgusting! I never wanna watch this season! Season 1, season 2, and season 4 are much better.

that made him feel as if he finally had a friend

I don't know if I can drive!

Ed thought I was ALF, and he kept muttering anti-Semitic comments.

Usicheke hadi Uonekane jino la mwisho

And you can call me any time, okay?

Well you must feel pretty stupid. Fuck!

And there he was, picking her up.

I got a shitty job, and I assure you, lam quite content.

Back off, Susan Boyle!

You owe me lobster money.

THAT TOOK GUTS WE NEED GUTS

It begins in 1985. We're in a nice town just outside Boston! Dude, do you believe it? I miss Boston! Jesus, please help us travel to Boston!

You're just like the baby jesus

Well, it's not true, okay? I'm an elegant broad.

(SIGHS) Look, John loves you very much,

getting me down and things are tough,

that took guts we need guts

You're going to be okay, buddy. Do you understand?

that you haven't always seen Lori as a threat to our friendship.

Timmy tuts-fucking-pin!!

Jesus, lam so sorry. I didn't see you. It was an accident.

and the guy down at the store told me

Savannah, Kasey, Dolly, Kendra, Carla, Chloe, Devon, Emmylou.

eating potato salad off of Tami-Lynn's bare bottom.

and I would love it if you would go with me.

Plus, you are a huge catch.

John, look, don't you think after four years

Just grab your Tundra buddy and say these magic words

It's unwatchable.

Sometimes I think back to that Christmas morning

Ch, my God, yes! Ch, my God, yes!

RECORDED TOY VOICE: I love you!

And, you know, I don't blame you.

Oh shit 9/11 I gotta get high

fuck shit bitch ass penis cock cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits pussy damn and more swears

(THUNDER CRASHING)

And slapping my nuts watch this And the land before time and littlefoot fu and be cool and children of men and inside man and Maggie and the ferocious beast and lizzie McGuire and big fat sanoussi

Come on. It's not that bad, okay?

But will you take care of me forever and ever?

I'm going to rattle off some names

Screw you, pal. I belong to John Bennett.

Except an Apache helicopter.

and when I hit it, fucking buzz it.

You're just like the Baby Jesus.

Have you ever considered selling the bear?

I don't know. I dig chicks, man.

JOHN: Fucking stop! Fuck!

You wished for my life back.

Yeah. Yeah, work's good.

That's a great story I felt like I was there

I thought you were going to be funnier.

Stop it! Fuck! Why you got to take it to that place?

Look, we're very interested in the bear.

You got to let me help you make things right with you and Lori.

Po Po Po Po Power with B EAR G LOVE

No, it can't be that either, right?

I Want Some Happy Meal

that one boy in every neighborhood

Tourettes Guy, Tourettes Guy, Going! Going!

I told my weed guy to step it up and he gave me that.

I think you're being a little more fair to him.

Ha-ha. No, just you homos.

you're going to make me choose some kind of loyalty to you

Jesus Christ! What the fuck, man?

Oh, yeah, that was a weird interview.

Taylor Lautner.

A magical Christmas wish is amazing! Jesus went to the cross. You're making me miss out on snowy fields. So Christmas is a holiday! Merry Christmas, dude!

They found the missing hikers.

I love the boys and it's so epic and awesome

God damn it! I'm here on business!

TED: Take it easy.

That's great. That is great.

That's your choice, John.

Hey, how are you holding up?

I just wanted John and I to be friends.

and died of Lou Gehrig's disease.

Hey, Sam, this is the guy I was telling you about.

Hey, wanna go out.

Oh yea! Austria can do no wrong!!!

(EXCLAIMING FEARFULLY)

(vvATEIWJUBBLlNG)

Jesus H. Christ!

I'm gonna dock you for dinging the car

but you've got to believe me it wasn't all his fault.

All right, I love you.

Yes, ma'am. Thank you for the opportunity, Miss...

If you think that by making shit like that up

I now pronounce you man and wife.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the orchestra

Hey, squirt, how you doing? Where's your bunny rabbit?

niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers

Oh, great. Great! I think I'm gonna watch Night of the Zoopocalypse. It's what I've always watched since I was three.

JOHN: There he is. Pull over.

Do I dare look at the clock?

Who's that over there?

What's going on?

Keemstar Dine-Stupid-Maddy!

You know you're never alone When you're with Christ

I have tickets to Norah Jones at the Hatch Shell tonight

you've been a part of our family for quite some time.

are we still going to smoke that pot?

Daddy punished me for it.

You're not giving anything a chance

I lost my job, my apartment and my life.

it was a huge misunderstanding,

Johnny, it's the truth, I'm telling you.

I don't have to. I'm a fucking hedgehog.

making yourself look like a pussy.

Oh, man. I never even got to read the manual.

Quiet down out there. Have patience.

Are you going to do it?

Po Po Po Po Power with Tigerclaw

Hey, Greenbaum!

Hey, Ted. (EXCLAIMS)

Can I... Just give me the car keys.

You can't get me Meilin Lee Cause you just Miriam's Farts

Now I'm going to stuff my fucking face with Pepperidge Farm!

No, Mom, he's really alive. Look.