Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I go to clubs at night and tell jokes.

I am definitely not a whore.

The demands came after Mr. Moses dismissed

That's what I've been doing for a month.

Yes, but it's a play.

You know, I actually used to sing.

If you're out, get off the floor.

You have to sit through the whole play.

So I'm thinking, if this night continues to go in the direction

Uh, no, she's still in New York.

You have to rush the condiment table really quick

velocity, wind resistance.

and-and, because they don't really know any of this,

-Yes, sir. -The trunk. The trunk.

My husband. Boyfriend.

And he'd wonder at the grandeur.

We're talking about the same Revlon counter here, right?

FRED: Oh, I got something. Does your comic work blue?

Look at this. Look at me.

♪ Please send her home to me ♪

-No. -Crisscross, crisscross.

Eh, place this big, you're gonna need a drink.

That's impossible. For what?

Do you really think you can go back

♪ You better tell that girl I'm gonna beat her up ♪

I can't take him substituting the word "poi" for "goy"

-in casual conversation. -All right, I'll tell you what.

-No, seriously. -No, seriously. I am out on bail.

I haven't bagged him. One date.

-You're a very decent gentleman. -Blame my mother.

-He wasn't done yet, Ruthie. -RUTHIE: He looked done.

And-and when people come up here with kids,

it's currently headed, we should have dinner next week.

-God, we are so much alike. -We are nothing alike.

I don't know why I'm helping you.

but I guess maybe I could take a bus to...

-(laughs) -So, Shirley tells me

Thank you, everybody.

After waffles, I lost $2.00

A Frenchman, a Yankee, and a Ruskie

-Really? -No. I don't give a fuck about pastels class.

I doubt he'll even know you're there.

doesn't mean you can't be happy.

PHIPPS: You talk of protecting this girl--

-Uh, one more time? -She's great. I want her back.

He's so odd, that one.

So, anyhow, you walk up to the edge of the lane

Christ and Moses fly to New York, transcontinental.

and look down at who you can see in the audience.

I only care if he can drive.

but there was so much buzzing in their heads.

MIDGE: I'm like a camel.

Ha! That's the way to do it.

I mean, isn't that the whole big thing that happens?

"He brought a very attractive Jewish boy with him.

out of my family's mouth that they win.

-Yeah. -She looks even less funny now!

I'll tell the two thieves who were trying to take food

-And that's why you're grumpy? -I'm not grumpy.

you're gonna be buried in Israel.

You do look very fancy.

It is not a toy.

Well, not as good as Lenny Bruce-- yet.

I'm shorthanded. If you can get here by 3:00 today,

I think she needs protection from you.

(stammers) She doesn't look anything

Abe, I'm begging you, I'm not a well man.

I've never walked out halfway through a play before.

No, the bitch operator.

-Where's your hat? -I forgot my hat.

Look, she just doesn't have her makeup on yet. Okay?

Polynesian clothes.

Works in the Hamptons now shucking oysters.

I'm back in the show.

Shoot. Bus. I could take a bus.

or fleeing Egypt.

but it was a bust.

he's gonna pull me off the stage in front of 400,000 people.

your husband is waiting for you on the main porch.

Well, it wouldn't have been short

"Moses is a ringer for Charlton Heston, and, uh,

Just... more than you're used to.

and the indoor skating rink-- a skating rink,

I got a chance to get back up to the makeup floor.

He is very smart.

Thank you! Good night!

What are you doing? Are you counting?

something that...

-Voluntarily? -Yep. They go every year.

They know. And Joel, my ex.

-curtains, lights. -A floor.