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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
"You're not gonna believe me, you're gonna think
But I haven't yet.
I don't want to miss anything juicy.
Now I understand the dress.
-I know. -I looked all over this nightmare place
It's been a real suck my donkey dick kind of day, boy.
-I can't sit here all day. -What about Kutshers?
Simon says spin like a dreidel.
♪ Hurry, oh, oh, baby ♪
-TALIA: And he's not married? -MIDGE: No, not married.
-You'll excuse me a minute? -Yep.
Let's see, they'd say, uh,
-if your parents ask... -I never saw you.
-Relaxed? -Yes.
The next big thing. Trust me, you won't be sorry.
Doesn't narrow it down.
Borscht Belt, huh?
"Who's here?"
You are something else.
-Well, don't be a jerk about it. -Sorry.
A little shayna punim at the Concord.
of Syria as he arrived to sign a pact
It's just a game, Abe.
Here we are in the Catskills, and I'm starving.
-You were great. -Well, it happens.
I know nothing. I wouldn't know where to put my fingers.
I don't know a lot about show business,
-How are you? -Out on bail.
-It's not. -No.
-And Christ would be confused... -(soft laughter)
Mmm, fries.
Ah. That was no act.
I'm meeting friends there.
-Aluminum siding. -What's that?
-Did you have a nice trip? -Yes.
...my lawyer gives me a thumbs-up.
-Get off the phone. -That will be another 30 cents, please.
Parents don't really want to know what's going on
(laughter)
I'm making call after call, nothing's happening.
Right now I'm up in the Catskills.
-And the righteous district attorney. -I hate district attorneys.
-Hi. -Hello.
I mean, it's free to guys I want it to be free to.
-I owe you. -Yes, I'll put in on your tab.
♪ High-tone places... ♪
But I'm assuming. Well, I'm here,
I think, next year, it's going to be time
-Oh, sorry. -Okay, go ahead.
♪ That pretty little witty little Susie ♪
-Okay. I'll be there. -Be there.
We don't have ivory towers
♪ You better tell that girl I'm gonna beat her up ♪
BENJAMIN: You travel light. You'd do well in a covered wagon
♪ And when I call you on the phone ♪
Okay, here we go.
No, Shirley, you're not.
May I escort you ladies to the table?
-It's not dramatic unless they spit on you. -I've been to real trials.
(cheering)
I mean, normally, when the phone rings, it's a salesman
-No. -I was gonna take her in the bathroom
-♪ A ♪ -♪ You're adorable ♪
Only... (whispers) ...murder.
like the picture you showed me.
She's my manager.
Danny Kaye is Jewish.
-♪ B ♪ -♪ You're so beautiful ♪
-Yep. Good. -Oh, and, um,
so she didn't have to think about his penis.
If I can't-- and I'm not saying I can't--
You're up here in the woods pretending to be a pony.
in the Catskills, something soon.
the city's billion dollar Title One program
And, remember, Moishe and Shirley
I'm finished with it anyhow.
I don't make any money from comedy, yet.
I wish I'd thought of that.
I thought for sure that was a good tip.
So you put the paste on, which I did, and then a month later,
This morning was waffle breakfast day,
Oh, I do like dates, though.
-Well, you must've been great. -I wasn't bad.
Uh, this table is on me.
and one quit after I fired her.
-Susie... -I went to the beauty parlor,