Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

♪ You better tell that girl I'm gonna beat her up ♪
We don't have ivory towers
-Get off the phone. -That will be another 30 cents, please.
Uh, this table is on me.
It's just a game, Abe.
-Susie... -I went to the beauty parlor,
I think, next year, it's going to be time
-Did you have a nice trip? -Yes.
"Who's here?"
-You'll excuse me a minute? -Yep.
Right now I'm up in the Catskills.
Let's see, they'd say, uh,
Borscht Belt, huh?
...my lawyer gives me a thumbs-up.
Only... (whispers) ...murder.
so she didn't have to think about his penis.
-♪ A ♪ -♪ You're adorable ♪
Ah. That was no act.
The next big thing. Trust me, you won't be sorry.
I don't make any money from comedy, yet.
This morning was waffle breakfast day,
♪ High-tone places... ♪
♪ That pretty little witty little Susie ♪
I know nothing. I wouldn't know where to put my fingers.
in the Catskills, something soon.
Mmm, fries.
Danny Kaye is Jewish.
A little shayna punim at the Concord.
But I'm assuming. Well, I'm here,
May I escort you ladies to the table?
She's my manager.
-You were great. -Well, it happens.
-TALIA: And he's not married? -MIDGE: No, not married.
like the picture you showed me.
And, remember, Moishe and Shirley
I'm finished with it anyhow.
I mean, it's free to guys I want it to be free to.
No, Shirley, you're not.
-It's not. -No.
I mean, normally, when the phone rings, it's a salesman
I don't know a lot about show business,
♪ Hurry, oh, oh, baby ♪
Now I understand the dress.
and one quit after I fired her.
-And Christ would be confused... -(soft laughter)
-♪ B ♪ -♪ You're so beautiful ♪
-I owe you. -Yes, I'll put in on your tab.
BENJAMIN: You travel light. You'd do well in a covered wagon
You're up here in the woods pretending to be a pony.
I'm making call after call, nothing's happening.
-It's not dramatic unless they spit on you. -I've been to real trials.
-I can't sit here all day. -What about Kutshers?
-And the righteous district attorney. -I hate district attorneys.
It's been a real suck my donkey dick kind of day, boy.
-Aluminum siding. -What's that?
-How are you? -Out on bail.
-I know. -I looked all over this nightmare place
I thought for sure that was a good tip.
If I can't-- and I'm not saying I can't--
Here we are in the Catskills, and I'm starving.
Okay, here we go.
-Okay. I'll be there. -Be there.
-Well, you must've been great. -I wasn't bad.
I wish I'd thought of that.
You are something else.
So you put the paste on, which I did, and then a month later,
(cheering)
-Yep. Good. -Oh, and, um,
of Syria as he arrived to sign a pact
"You're not gonna believe me, you're gonna think
-if your parents ask... -I never saw you.
-Hi. -Hello.
But I haven't yet.
-Well, don't be a jerk about it. -Sorry.
-No. -I was gonna take her in the bathroom
Oh, I do like dates, though.
the city's billion dollar Title One program
♪ And when I call you on the phone ♪
Simon says spin like a dreidel.
-Oh, sorry. -Okay, go ahead.
I'm meeting friends there.
I don't want to miss anything juicy.
Parents don't really want to know what's going on
Doesn't narrow it down.
(laughter)
-Relaxed? -Yes.