Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

-Aren't you gonna watch me? -Like a fucking hawk.
Simon says touch your nose, touch your toes. Ha!
-Can I walk? -Have you lost your mind?
And somebody's gonna get up and give a big dramatic speech.
MOISHE: Look who I found wandering
My God.
Isn't it weird?
is at Upstairs at the Downstairs next week.
-(dial tone buzzing) -Hello? Shit!
Are we in trouble?
GOLDIE: Mrs. Maisel, are you still here?
The Concord. Late show. Tonight.
-B. Altman's a secret? -Comedy is a secret.
Uh, I don't know. I make a hell of a Jell-O mold.
Anything wrong?
Now, Christ and Moses
Are you done playing with lipstick?
You're my son.
but, after six weeks up here,
She doesn't look funny.
Oh, good double-bill, Spellman and Sheen. Nice one.
A lot of nice girls here this year.
(phone crackles)
I've been doing some gigs here and there.
but that's it.
the presence of American troops in Lebanon.
but that turned out to be bullshit, too.
"Well, I've only seen them in pictures,
Oh, hello, Mrs. O'Toole.
-That's Mamie Eisenhower. -Yeah, so?
it's only because I'm spending too much time
Who has a bus schedule? Anyone have a bus schedule?
♪ My baby don't care for ♪
Look, I said what I need to get you the gig,
Shayna punim.
So they just stand there, in the back of St. Patrick's,
We're here, Shirley. Your moment's passed.
We are not like-minded.
"What is it?"
♪ Mr. Spellman and Mr. Sheen. ♪
You can't just randomly charge me money because you're mad.
But no one else. Well, Susie.
Hello?
And this play, I mean, it's got everything:
What are you, the lost Gabor sister?
I'm supposed to be talking about blow jobs and big tits,
-You seem grumpy. -I just want to land one of these gigs.
Simon says run in a circle backwards.
♪ S'wonderful, s'marvelous ♪
-in the first place. -I'm...
Weird.
3:00. Better. 3:00. Thank you.
"but I'm pretty sure it's them.
-Nothing. -What picture did you...
for a new grass skirt.
-(women gasp) -No.
She said that little Robbie Moses
Buy her a soda. And have her home by 10:00.
and missed my pastels class.
Well, my father. She'll-she'll give it up to him.
Okay, I'm sorry. Wow, big room.
and his head blew up like a balloon.
I'm sure."
I'll, uh, I'll get you the number.
♪ My baby don't care for ♪
-You're a... -I'm a standup. I do comedy.
SEWELL: Then you do not include yourself among his enemies.
You threw something at my head.
Well, you smell it, right? It's a very strong smell.
and the guy they booked just found Jesus.
as a dead duck.
-So... -Would you like to go?
Killed an entire family, and then left a bill.
I fucking love the Catskills.
I went everywhere. I was in such a frenzy,
The duck was alive when it was given to him,
It was a shit tip. I don't need a shit tip.
What? Where?
Now just give me something, something good,
-Not a surprise. -Who are you?
♪ Well, we used to be the best of friends ♪
His wife murdered him in Panama, so...
I had to get back right away.
So B. Altman's my day job. And it's a secret.
or married or... that.
I thought you said this place wasn't that much bigger.
♪ Mama, don't scold me ♪
♪ To shut up. ♪