Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I received a call from Will Warren, the county prosecutor.

- It's nobody's fault. Feel better... - That's it!

- They all grew up together. - Great.

I'm gonna put two pounds of gunpowder in there, I'm gonna light it up...

[Gulping Loudly]

You know what, Mom? You know what I'm gonna get you next Christmas?

And I still say gettin' laid by an 18-year-old linebacker is just what she needs!

- But I'm not hungry now. - Eat! Don't annoy me. It's Christmas.

- [Murray Laughing] Kid, I got good news. - Yeah?

But I'm right, aren't I? You would never have taken a couple, would you?

Uh, actually, that was, uh, my idea.

Up against the bed.

I spoke to Mr. Willard. It seems there might be a videotape of the robbery.

I haven't finished a cigarette in three months. I take a few drags.

I heard something very similar on Oprah last week.

There is no Yugoslavia anymore. And who in their right mind would go there?

Thanks. I'm looking for a friend of mine.

- I can't believe this. - Celebrate the birth of Christ!

My God. Is this a Christmas story?

- You wanna go for coffee? - Look, kid, I gotta get home to my family.

And when the Restaurant Guidebook recommends you...

♪ I'll have a blue Christmas... ♪

It's to put in the bank. It's another payment on the loan.

I hijacked my fuckin' parents.

Hey, Lieutenant.

- He just wants me to wear a red A and sleep in the basement. - Is that so unreasonable?

- I never said I quit. - You said you quit. You hadn't had a cigarette in three months.

I hate guys like you, you know?

- ♪ This simple phrase ♪ - Why?

Oh, yes, your Christmas wish came true.

We're changing the rules a little bit, okay? We're gonna open up the presents now.

One bad review in one lousy magazine.

That is not the spirit of Christmas.

Caroline, could I have the wine?

like he's preparing for my parole hearing. I don't get to do anything by myself.

Fuckin'Christmas.!

Audrey remember...

- They date back to the fourth century. - That's what it looks like.

You know, the big retirement score.

I Fucking Hate Him Lloyd!

but that I could say it just to get the divorce.

[Clerk] I have nothing I can do for you. I'm sorry.

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas.

I swear to God, you hit that kid one more time...

You forget I have your son upstairs.

I do not want you or your men going in there.! Do you hear me?

♪ Don't got no spark ♪

Medium! Favorite Christmas movie evah!

Excuse my reach.

Telling people she dreams of me being castrated Florentined is healthy?

Otherwise, he'd be all alone with that adulteress and her delinquent son.

♪ My baby's gone ♪

- [Security System Beeping] - [Jesse] Hi, guys. It's me.

Gary, are you going to let him talk to you like that?!

[Steve] No, I'm not buying wine for your brother.

[Dr. Wong] Lloyd, have you forgiven Caroline for her affair?

That's obvious.

but it sucks just a little bit when you're 3 5...

- I want to change my shoes. - [Lloyd] Your shoes are lovely.

You can hot-wire station wagons, you can hot-wire a fucking boat.

with his penis sticking out of his ear.

- [Sirens Blaring] - [Electronic Voice] Burglary.! Burglary.!

Another thing. He said, uh, your men are to assist and report to me...

that was really important to you, to us...

- Oh, sounds too sweet. - Then don't eat it.

Just quit, huh?

Every time you guys yell and scream at each other, it is my problem, Mom.

I have everything I need. I'm actually a very content person.

this is getting a little ugly here.

- Geez. - 419, we're over at Seabury Court. Over.

- Thank you. Merry Christmas. - Thank you very much.

I usually end up in Jamaica with this friend of mine, Jimmy Marlo.

- You phony bastard! - Caroline, shut up.!

- Less than ten minutes ago, you sat in the car... - Hey, hey! Stop sign.

And if you would like, Lt. Huff, I will speak to the mayor... a golfing chum of mine...

- And told me you want to stop arguing. - Stop sign! Whoa!

- [Boy] The cookies are good.! - All right, everybody, tuck in! Let's eat, huh?

because we weren't as rich as your college friends were to enjoy it.

You got everything, opportunities up the ass.

- [Lloyd] Oh, my Lord. - [Groaning]

People with guns can do whatever they want.

- Well... - Well, he...

Merry Christmas.

Ah, the marriage doctor.

- How do you know he'll call? - He'll call. He better fuckin' call.

Merry Christmas.

Humans get frightened because they have feelings.

It's my mother-in-law's. Every time I pass it, I feel her eyes on me.

- What's the quickest way to the docks? - Bainbridge.

Um, there are Band-Aids in the bathroom...

The spirit of Christmas is either you're good, or you're punished and you burn in hell. would catch a criminal and then let him go free? - Republicans?