Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

on people's lives. Wait a minute.

Were you in love? No.

Make sure the judge sees it, okay?

Sam, I love you.

Now, sit down. I've got a lot of work to do.

What about this guy here?

Let's just get you to the hospital, get you checked out.

It depends. He comes, he goes.

Arthur, the committee is doing something about what's going on.

Got anything to say?

[CHATTER ON POLICE RADIO]

You say, Pass the salt.

Mr. Kirkland. Damn it, Arthur!

He pushes me aside,

Will you take a lie-detector test?

Put that thing away. What's going on?

Well, now we know they're definitely safe.

[WARREN & JAY LAUGHING]

Your Honor, in light of the fact that this is the defendant's first major offense,

I don't pretend to be a voice of authority.

Nothing. I don't have to do anything.

On the basis of this report,

And he was too busy.

So, uh, what's new? Heh, heh.

That's not the point.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

Oh, they're just having some fun with him, that's all.

who are willing to believe that I'm innocent. Not five of them.

You're a wonderful man, Grandpa.

What are you doing, judge? Jerking me off, here?

Well, you mean, we're not gonna make it back?

wanted in Alabama for assault with a deadly weapon.

Your Honor, Mr. Foreman,

PRISONER 3: Don't put that in here. Chick ain't my type.

GUARD 2: Come on, Kirkland. Let's go.

Arthur... Gail, on my life?

Nothing can be done. Now, I don't buy that, judge.

And ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

Fleming got me crazy. You push Fleming

Do you know what that's about? Yeah.

Why would she lie?

I'm aware that I'm not particularly, uh, well-liked.

And I fully intend to have that proven in a court of law.

The judge is guilty Wait a minute.

GAIL: Jesus. Sounds pretty bad.

Don't quote the law. My client is innocent.

You know what I mean?

Are you sure I had my teeth this morning?

But this is crazy, you know? I know it. I know it.

How are you? Good to see you.

She lets go of that purse, I'm on my way.

RAYFORD: Order in the courtroom. BAILIFF: Do what I say.

I've been a lawyer for 12 years.

Only it's not that simple.

A defense lawyer has to defend people who are guilty.

Because during sex,

I'm placing you on probation for one year.

Now, that's true, because I don't.

If he's allowed to go free,

Firemen trying to get me out of the car. I'm trapped because some son...

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

You're the one that put me through law school.

Mr. Kirkland...

Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah.

Last week, we went for a ride in the car. Remember?

What the hell are you doing?

Any other judge would have let you out, but this guy,

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Why me, fellas? Come on.

You're gonna find yourself representing a sacrificial lamb.

Will the defendant please rise?

He's all right. He just needs a little time, that's all.

Centerfold. Lawyer of the Month.

Anything I tell you, you know?

I just borrowed it for the night, and now how am I gonna tell him?

And other stuff too.

Tell you the punchline. You're gonna love this.

How'd you know there was one, Ralph?

Hi, Mr. Kirkland. Nice to see you. ARTHUR: How are you today?

Do you honestly think that...?

No. Not at all.

To say, you know... To wave to her, to say hello.

Hey, listen to me, Jeff.

I mean, we are so opposite,

The honorable Francis Rayford presiding.

and I tell you, I can't find five people out there

The son of a bitch is guilty!

He forgot to bring it.

Why? Polygraph is not admissible evidence.

RAYFORD: Mr. Kirkland, you are out of order.

I mean, he killed kids. You see?

SALTZMAN: What kind of world do we live in?

With you, it's still new and exciting.

No, he doesn't drink. Doesn't drink at all.

RAYFORD: Here, let me show you something.

because you hate him so much, right?

So he pleads guilty even though he's innocent.

Sweetheart, give him the pictures.

Here. No, wait, wait, wait.

Hang somebody for armed robbery. Try it.

Look at that. Ha, ha, ha.

I know that. That's right.

Uh, I'm Arthur Kirkland. You wanted to see me?

Hi. Hi, Sherry.

I said, Oh. Sounded like, Go.

from a lot of corrupt lawyers, is what we're doing.

Why don't you ease up on the judge?

No, sir, I'm not trying to make a deal.

I find the defendant, Ronald Wenke, guilty.

Arthur, you're talking crazy now. You don't know he's guilty.

I can't get anything from anybody. I'll see you later.

We're not going after anyone, Mr. Kirkland. We are simply...

[WARREN & JAY LAUGHING]