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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
THIS TESSLER IS SPREADING THIS RUMOR ABOUT ME
AND YOU CAN JUST REALLY READ ME.
YOU'VE GOT TO BECOME ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT NOW.
OH, YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN THERMOSTAT RIGHT THERE, SEE?
- WAKE UP, WAKE UP! - ( all chattering )
PERFECT. I CAN CHECK HER OUT.
- WITH SIX MINUTES TO GO? - THE LAST SIX MINUTES. THAT'S CRAZINESS.
Medium outdoor golf gallery audience cheering applaud & whistling
'CAUSE YOU GOTTA BRING SOMEBODY. CHERYL'S COMING WITH THAT GUY.
WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR WAS THAT AGAIN?
- SHE HAS A TICKLE IN HER ANUS? - I THINK SO. SHE WAS SQUIRMING IN HER SEAT.
- SHE CAN TAKE 'EM OUT. - THEN THERE'S A HOLE IN THE NOSE.
I KNOW SOMEBODY WHO WOULDN'T FIND THIS FUNNY AT ALL.
- I DIDN'T KNOW. - YOU ARE SUCH A BALD ASSHOLE!
SO I'M GONNA KEEP THIS SHORT AND JUST SAY
IT'S FIVE MINUTES TO GO. IT'S CRAZY.
YEAH, MY SEAT'S UNCOMFORTABLE TOO.
IT WAS NOT A PRETTY SIGHT FOR ME.
( Auntie Rae chuckling ) CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
IF I RECOMMENDED HIM, YOU CAN TELL HIM
YOU'D BETTER GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY HOUSE,
LARRY, WH--?
WHY DID YOU SAY I HAVE A TICKLE IN MY ANUS?
I WANT TO GET BACK TO THE FUNNY, TO THE SHTOOMY.
SO LONG.
HE'S UP THERE MOPING, MAN. MOPY DICK, THAT'S WHAT HE IS.
I REALLY DO. FUCK YOU, LARRY.
WHO WALKED PAST THE LINE TO GET HIS TICKET BEFORE.
COME ON DOWNSTAIRS, MAN. THE FAMILY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU A LITTLE BIT.
I'M STILL SICK ABOUT THE FACT THAT THAT THING IS
IT'S NOT TRUE. HOWEVER,
- OH, YOUR UNDERWEAR-- - YES.
SURE, I'LL GO WITH YOU, L.D.
WHY'D YOU "RECOMMEND" HIM, MR. QUOTEHEAD?
- YEAH. - ...OR ONE OF BEN LADEN'S PEOPLE.
'CAUSE THEY'RE FLOATING MY NAME TO DIRECT HIS PILOT
( gargles )
- '72? SO YOU KNOW NO ONE. - NO, I KNOW NOTHING.
THEY HAD A RUN-THROUGH. THE NETWORK STORMED OUT.
YOU'RE LISTENING TO ME? I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
- WELL... - WHY NOT JUST TELL HIM DIRECTLY?
- NO, I HAVEN'T DATED IN A LONG TIME. - NO, A LONG TIME.
I COULD SAY THAT YOU HAD TO LEAVE,
WHY DON'T WE TAKE THAT OFFICE THEN?
- YOU GOT THE JOB? - YEAH.
- YOU'VE GOT TO MOVE ON. - THERE'S NOBODY THAT COMPARES TO HER.
- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU BOUGHT AN ALBUM? - 1972?
- I'M GETTING IT TOGETHER. - YEAH, THINK ABOUT THAT BEARD SHIT.
IT'S TRUE, ISN'T IT?
YOU WERE BUSY WITH THE TIVO GUY.
- OKAY, NO MORE. - YEAH, GET OUT. LET'S GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
- ALL RIGHT, I'M TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF. - YEAH, COME ON DOWNSTAIRS.
- THIS WHOLE THING IS ASKEW, YOUR SYSTEM. - MM-HMM.
NO, IT WAS GREAT. YOU'RE CRAZY.