Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Fuck you Jiminy! Pinocchio, if you don't shut the fuck up I'll have to punch you in the fathead.

A living puppet without strings!

You see that key hanging on the wall?

And what did the wise and learned schoolmaster say?

PINOCCHIO: How do I do that?

(JOYFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Tomorrow we have a big show in Siena.

You have to be on a deserted crossroads after dark.

-(BRAYING) -(CREATURE GROWLING)

I'm a cricket. More of an insect than an instinct.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Last night, the Carabinieri arrested Stromboli and put him in jail!

We'll be one big happy...

And he listened to his conscience.

Of course, this never would've happened

(MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(ENCHANTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

Attaboy, Pinoke. Now you're cooking. Let's get out of here.

The problem with that one clock, it talks too much.

Now we can go home again and we'll be all together.

They're both gone.

(WATER BUBBLES)

Well, I'll be. He's asleep.

It goes around the Earth once a day. It's basic, simple science.

Who needs an education

But old Jiminy picked up the fumble and it's smooth sailing from here.

-I know I can talk. And so can you. -"I know I can talk. And so can you."

(CHUCKLES) My name is Pinocchio.

Oh, who cares what he thinks? His pedagogy is completely outdated.

(MYSTICAL NOTES PLAYING)

(FIREWORKS SHOOTING)

Wait. No. I'm coming to you.

Hey! Don't call me Mister Dog you fucking jew!

An actor's life is gay

Maybe it is time for you to go to school.

You'll learn all about it in school.

Ah, there we are.

Figaro, you're here, too. And Cleo.

Hey. What's the big idea? Get me out of here!

(MONSTRO GRUNTING)

Ah! And here are your new schoolmates, and, ah, Signora Vitelli. Buongiorno.

I wasn't even angry anymore! Wah-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho! I was supposed to be a real boy la la la la la la la la lunch and la worry and we are!

-Hey! This is more like it. -(BLUE FAIRY CHUCKLES)

Jiminy. Father. Help! Help!

You went to school. You gave it the old college try.

Yep, donkey ears and all.

We must have music.

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

What the cuss is that all about?

-(GASPS) -(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

Well, I wouldn't want that on my conscience.

(CLOCKS RINGING)

-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) -(CREATURES GROWLING)

I mean, that is, if Pinocchio here was a real boy.

Whatever it takes

Last night, the Carabinieri arrested Stromboli and put him in jail.

You're wrong, Lampy. I still call what you did cheating.

-(DRUM ROLL PLAYING) -The toy who thinks he's a boy.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

Father? Father, talk to me. Say something.

(SINGING) It's only peer pressure Unless you're not a peer

-Jiminy Cricket, temporary conscience? -Well, then, I want to go to school.

They're around here somewhere. What do you care?

Father, wake up.

Well, I don't know about that, Pinocchio. I mean, look at all this junk.

-Whoa! -(MEOWING)

Better yet, have two. Bottoms up!

He said I didn't belong. All the kids laughed at me.

It seems Pinocchio is serious about becoming brave, truthful and unselfish.

-(SIGHS) Okay, you have a point. -BLUE FAIRY: Here's the thing.

and the greatest theatrical maestro on the face of the earth...

LAMPWICK: Conscience, right.

"To feeling how I felt when he was here with me"

Yes, yes, we're all together again. Isn't it wonderful?

And despite a few minor blended family issues...

An almost real boy!

Thanks, Pinoke. Now, swing me towards the lock.

We'll follow that light.

(HONEST JOHN SCATTING)

They just don't understand, do they, Cleo? My clocks, they mean everything to me.

Hey mullet head let us out Aw don't worry girls I've prepared a front row seat for you

No request is too extreme

Actually, it's a story that begins once upon a time, a long time ago.

-That's me. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

But did you know, many people say that you're not actually real

-A tiny boat? -Yes, a dinghy.

(SCHOOL BELL DINGING)

if I hadn't gotten into the conscience business.

The sweet fulfillment of

Where do you suppose all the kids went, Lampy?

(RINGING STOPS)

"Mastro Geppetto. Wood-carver, fabricator of clocks, toys, oddments."

Like a bolt out of the blue

Makes no difference who you are

Not ríðikœľusü pųpeís. Pųpeís bíłøŋğ îñ þe pųpei şo.

Anybody, please! Just call anybody! Help me, please.