Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

First of all, right away, any kind of "I got kids."

Listen, this is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, clearly...

Oh, shit, I'm sorry.

So where is, uh--?

...and she dies.

Hey, can I get one of those? Sure.

I just think about hitting him right in his stupid little face.

I've never gotten laid because of the way I look, in my life.

Please do it now.

...you should be happy your daddy takes time to make nice food for you.

Some parents are douche bags.

So when did you guys get divorced?

I've never been a guy who, I just walk in a room and women go, oh, oh.

I think about it when I'm bored.

Hi. I just wanted to say I thought you were really funny.

...their vaginas and anuses at the same time.

It's like Montessori, only a bit more creative.

Fathers should be offended all the time. They stink.

Okay, because nothing goes in here anymore.

Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah

I'm older than any baseball player.

"Wish I'd had-- Wish I'd waited.