Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Shit, Coop. I'm sorry. I guess the money did go to my head.

I could lay some carpet in your new home

That brings up Enrique Hernandez.

I'm just worried about getting attached. I mean, the kids getting attached.

Alright, we can come up with a better way. - Like how?

You're not big sports guys!?

I can explain it more slowly if you need me to... Not big Constitution guys?

Oh, thank you. - Goes great with mustard.

yeh but you love me as your girlfriend?

I can't believe those assholes taped over the game.

It certainly does seem to be raining shit on right now.

and take advantage of lucrative corporate tie-ins,

In a minute, another unsolved mystery. - Come on, kids!

Police have 2 scenarios of what happened

Hurry up, Coop! Hold on, I just gotta water the plants.

Yeah, I'm ready to consider thinking about dating her exclusively.

I wanna be just like you when I grow up.

Certainly does seem to be raining shit on Toby Greene right now.

If what, dude? - Just say it and Coop will do it.

I don't know where he is. He could be hanging in his closet. - Scenario 1:

The Oilers moved to Tennessee, where there's no oil.

Shut your mouth!

by the dreams of the young.

we're now in month nine of the playoffs.

Skidmark Steve! Oh cool! You still just hangin out, playin Nintendo?

What is it? - I hear your sister's going out with Squeak.

You don't care about Jenna!

Because you’re a piece of shit

The Beers have done it. They're on their way to the Denslow Cup.

But no matter how far major sports went, it wasn't enough

and a plane ticket to Calcutta.

to join us here at Beers Garden for Denslow Cup V.

I guess you've got a point there. Alright, maybe I was wrong.

That's way back

If the Beers beat Detroit and Denver beats Atlanta

Don't let 'em walk all over your face!

He's flatlining! You killed him!

and Same Old Crap, featuring teen heartthrob Mark Swenson.

This is the best day of my entire life.

that inevitably followed even the most pedestrian of accomplishments.

Your place is a shit-hole anyway.

by the fact it's Free Range Chicken Night.

Let me do the talking. No way I'm doing a deal with this piece of shit.

WAKE UP BITCH, YOU'RE OUR NEW BACKUP GOALIE

Doing the happy dance. Doing the happy dance.

Yeah but not this week

After picking up indictments in New England, San Diego, Houston, St. Louis

Getting ready to hang out like...

It certainly does seem to be Raining shit On Leigh Hancock right now

Wake up, bitch. You're my best friend.

I will have to see

I know I could pull through, if...

He's turning blue! - He's freezing. He needs a blanket.

It certainly does seem to be raining shit on patrick right now

In all my years of calling games I've never been this excited.

I see you've been admiring my museum. - Is that really...?

your celebrity friends, and your beautiful women

I guess you’ve got a point there

This is Coop Cooper. He could hit 3 home runs if you wanted. Huh, Coop?

Go ahead. Go back to your fancy cars, big bank accounts

I fucked your sister

And you can, too. - Would I have quit baseketball?

I'm begging you,

If Joe Cooper was the Los Angeles Dodgers

You took your time texting me I was expecting a text on Monday! But no nothing interesting what about you

Deep inside me.

You all own part of the team, too. - Really? You do that for us?

There was a time in America when contests of athletic prowess

Thanks, Doug. And so... - You wanna do an interview with me?

Goddam it! You score 13 or 14 more bonus TDs and I'm outta here.

The milking machine

First we get bounties then bake cookies Then the loot

There were four of them in the corral: The once-proud beast, the broken girl,

Dude, we don’t have 50 bucks! We don’t have 20.

Indentured servants? - Yes!

a game they have dedicated to Ted Denslow,

Ladies and gentlemen,

Listen to that crowd!

Manning rolls right. He's got Plough at the ten... Touchdown,

Let's make it interesting.

Mrs. Denslow? Baxter Cain. May I? - Of course.

This is really amazing

something went awry.

Get outta here!

You took your time texting me I was expecting a text on Monday! But no nothing interesting what about you

Goddam it! You rip on me 13 or 14 more times and I'm outta here.

You took your time texting me I was expecting a text on Monday! But no nothing interesting what about you

i can see what you post anyways

Can you hit 2 homeruns? - Of course.

We're in for a classic battle tonight.

That sucks. I gotta get my trophy. Let's have a hot dog sometime.

Jeremiah Squeak

oh god george better watch out or you'll get rectals! boing yes faye and you'd better watch out or you'll get knotted twists!

'I repair cows, not people. '

The Beers have to stop Dallas if they want to stay in this game.

the Malaka-Laka Balance Board of Trust.

Hate to interrupt your celebration, but this might interest you.