Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Don't do this! - He betrayed you. He betrayed me.

We've got a warrant to search your apartment

I didn't need to know that.

It looks like such a nice sofa.

Why wouldn't I?

Hey, these are on me.

So many beautiful woman. I love this neighborhood.

you gather your whole family together and tell them the truth.

I don't know. I don't know what he is.

What's the verdict?

I just wanted to finish my cigarette.

Um, Mary D'Annunzio.

Come on, you son of a bitch.

And then I'll go.

You call that reality?

We say nothing.

- Good to see you, man. - Good to see you.

BOTH: (SINGING) You'll take the high road

You don't know how to behave.

All "Naturelle" flavors.

I don't want you to get involved

Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers,

That's more than I can say for you.

There's 1,000 guys up there who are harder than me.

Nothing but a catnap. Stay cool, brother.

- I got no one to blame but myself. - Stop. Stop.

I can't go in looking like this. I already told you.

- Come on! - Right or wrong. Yeah.

They say it's already too crowded.

- Doyle. Doyle's Law. - It's Murphy.

I don't know. He just showed up like this.

- You've wanted to fuck her... - You're full of shit!

I didn't hear you wishing I was a law school student then.

That's just some knee-jerk liberalism bullshit, man.

What's the big deal with the employment number, anyway?

Seen too many men bit by these mean bastards.

They'll let you keep it.

Fuck the Wall Street brokers,

Worst fucking parade in the city.

- Oh? - Yeah. Why is that?

Sure. Yeah, come on in.

- You know how to use it? - Yeah, I know how to use it.

- All right. I just... - Call you later.

Your mother's a lunatic.

15 years to life minimum, first offense.

the one who can walk through walls.

I should have stopped drinking when your mother passed...

Uncle Nikolai's throwing me a party down at Bridge.

Oh, that's probably 'cause you don't work on Wall Street.

Where you from?

Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends.

"Funny you should say that."

On the way, stop in Chicago for a Cubs game.

I know she cries after having sex.

Yeah, what about Nat?

but not in this lifetime.

Seven years is a long time.

- Don't worry about that. - Thank you.

I woke up an hour ago, I was hungry.

- What's that supposed to mean? - It's literal. It's a joke.

Listen. I got one idea.

This joint is jumping, boy.

I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back.

Hey. I want you to meet somebody.

Where d'you think that money was coming from? Donald Trump?

Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis,

I don't want you to hate me when I'm gone.

Why did you do it? You let me think it was her!

Go... Go ahead.

It's not real deep or anything.

What then? What kind of skills do I have?

- What's that? - It's a new guy.

I got one last thing I gotta do.

Easy drive to Otisville.

You were right. It wasn't her.

- Monty! - These two. Yeah.

Means you gotta raise wages to get them.

You missed a great story about Jake's imaginary friend.

JAMES: Not much.

No, dogboy, in middle of highway.

The guy who came to class today?

- Do it! Do it! - (YELLS)

Monty, I have beautiful woman. Very nice.

"We're gonna meet for dinner at this particular place,"

What're we doing tonight? Before you kill yourself that is.

No, no. I used to go here.

I'm gonna give it a little go, but there will be too many of 'em.

- Why? Why'd you do it? - No, no, no, Monty! No!

- Fuck that. Hit him. Hit him. - Okay.

it's because it's a guaranteed A-plus.

and you go out to this strange world outside your office called reality

Could you just talk to me?

Big celebration. She's got that whole fancy apartment to herself now.

- What are you doing? - Don't panic.

Yeah, okay. We'll just be a minute.

- Why do we always have to do this? - It's a sick joke.

Door closes, boom. I'm on the floor,

- No! (LAUGHING) - Yeah. He loves you.

and backward-assed cave-dwelling fundamentalist assholes everywhere.

I tell you, one more of these, and I'm, um...

You got all kinds of nights.

Oh. That's cool. I like that. Hey, class.

It's like he owns this place.

swelling up the welfare rolls.

- How you doing, big man? - It's the man. The man's arrived.

Fuck the Korean grocers, with their pyramids of overpriced fruit,