Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Or whether I'm wrong

W-Would Andy like to tell us...

- Shut up! - Boo!

Andy, I got something better.

I need this place like I need a shotgun blast to the face!

- Moist towelette? - No.

- That is-- That is in terrible taste.

I see them. I see the white cells.

Do you want me to come over, we'll talk about it?

Uh, I particularly suggest the lotus root.

No, no, please keep it down. We've got a long way to go.

So, I guess Jerry just, um,

was so that I could have my own special.

- I hate sitcoms, George. I've never liked them. - Hold on.

I found out today that Taxi has been canceled.

Hey, George. I'm not sure we can do anything for you.

Okay, but please, let him down gently.

Thank you very much.

They love me, they hate me, they walk out. It's all great.

Baby, blue, blue blue suede shoes, honey

I wanna reach the top.

You can have this one.

they have it all over men.

Sir, there 's a problem down on the Kaufman special.

I have to ask your permission to fire Tony.

but, um, it's not a gag, Bob.

Your love has given me wings

That's what I'm good at.

That's the one I have to do? Okay, let me see.

George, what am I supposed to do?

This is serious. I went to the hospital.

Is it an act? Is it an act?

to star on a prime time network sitcom!

Coming back from commercial, and--

Fuck you! I'm not goin'!

Abu-dabi Abi-dabu-ah

- Some fan threw something. - Who did that?

I'm keeping flowers in full bloom

- Latka! - 'just remember that all the people of this world...

- Latka! - haven't had the advantages that you've had.'

What the hell are you talkin' about, George?

Hi, Eleanor. It's great to have you here. It's a real honor.

stupid jokes and canned laughter!

Today's special guest, Mr. Bear.

What do you say?

- Did he hurt someone else? - No, no. It's not that.

I had it taped down and everything.

Bo-o-ob! Bo-o-ob!

This is great business.

This cannot leave this room.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

- Drink of water? Aspirin? - Nope.

This is not funny.

Dreaming of you

Tell Kaufman this network will never air this program.

we feel that it's best...

Now get in the ring. I'll give you a free headlock. Okay? Come on!

Then you get killed, and I did the booking.

Actually, Bud, you're wrong.

Forty million people are watching your ass every week, Kaufman.

The cancer started in Andy's lungs...

- Ah, I'm sorry. They're a bunch of assholes. - Yeah.

Oh, well we were dancin'

Fuck you! I'm sorry, Dave.

- I'm fine. - Good.

Andy needs to relax. This is your job.

What the hell's goin' on?

- They say he's not following the technical requirements. - Technical?

So though we are in danger we never despair

Yeah. That's true.

It's good, old-fashioned entertainment, George. Everyone loves a villain.

...dropped to the canvas--

until the audience can't stand it and they turn into children right in front of me.

and if you ever need representation, we should talk.

I will have both!

I know the college kids really like Andy Kaufman.

I go to the retreat every year.

You are getting a once-in-a-lifetime,

we just don't wish your presence here.

- Whoo! - I'll take you on, you sissy.

to make it real, some of you down there knew what was going on and some of you didn't.

Ladies and gentlemen,

- Andy is very sincere. - Right.

Uh, Mr. Kaufman gets his own network special.

I know I'll stay "aleeve"

Let Kaufman get in there, and let's see what kind of man he is.

that maybe I could charge people to touch it.

Bullshit, bullshit, my line.

Hang your stocking and say your prayers