Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

This is not about you being high. This is about you being immature.
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
NEIL: So, ladies, have you ever heard of something...
I got the munchies.
Can you untie us?
Oh, shit.
No, no, no!
Why are you calling Harold?
We can have the tree?
SQUIRREL: Mmm.
Those guys weren't kidding. We're in the middle of nowhere.
Ah! Guess that holy water didn't wash everything off, now did it?
padhai me man nahi lagta Kya kare
She told me earlier today. My reaction was not awesome.
Aah! And it really, really hurts.
Hey, hey, look at that. NPH, Neil Patrick Harris.
Is that too much?
Mm, mm. Ha-ha-ha. Hey. How about that?
- Wake up. - Oh.
Because I wanted you...
NIKKI: I'm not smart like the other kids. I can't do that stuff.
...in hell...
It's Harold, actually.
I was gonna split the profits with you...
Waffles are awesome. Pancakes suck, right?
[MUFFLED GRUNTING]
Oh. Jinx.
When was the last time you saw this guy?
HAROLD: Maybe if we catch up to them, they'll sell the tree to us.
- How you doing? - Good to see you too. Good.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
The more I think about it, the more excited I am.
We'll make it work. We have plenty of room.
- We have a van... - I got it.
You got a package that came for you at the apartment. So I was dropping it off.
I don't know, I kind of wanna see what happens next.
Sorry doesn't pop my cherry.
Fucking actors.
[YELLS]
When you told me you were pregnant, I admit I was scared as shit.
Yeah, maybe one of you fucks up every now and again.
It was my little way of bringing you boys back together.
They say that singing is...
America's sweetheart!
All right, that is it. Hey, snowman!
Come on, please? Come on!
MR. PEREZ: It's okay, baby.
And, Mr. Lee, I think you're gonna be really pleased.
Because what makes Maria happy is what makes me happy.
I mean, I pulled out and came on your back.
...couldn't handle this. - I'm sorry.
Somebody is gonna...
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Fuck you!
- Rosenberg. - Goldstein?
I thought that would knock you out, obviously.
Running out of time.
Your coke baby has superpowers.
You ruined my Christmas, man!
- Oh, shit! HAROLD: What the fuck, Kumar?
- With ethnic items that he might need? - I did.
HAROLD: Come on.
What else have you been doing behind my back?
Hmm?
KUMAR: Sounds like you're enjoying your new religion.
Aw, come on.
Okay.
REPORTER: Neil, Neil, Neil, Dan Frye.
SANTA: Just let me die, please!
You showed me you got cojones.
Watch your step, it's icy there.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
- Snoopy Sno-cone Machine. - Done.
- What? Oh, shit! - No! No!
Sir, if I may. This is all a big...
We can find people.
Oh, my God.
Wu-Tang Clan, Todd.
Look. We are...
Yeah, definitely, man. I think there was something in the eggnog.
...kill them. Kill them all!
...et cetera?
After all we've been through with that guy, he better.
Ava! Scooch to Daddy! Hide behind Daddy!
But real talk...
Why does he look...
I know. That's strange.
Oh, great.
Wait, wait, wait! What the hell are we doing?
- Oh, my God. GUY: Oh, I'm coming!
Kenneth, it's Christmas.
That's Sergei...
It smells like shit in here.
[FINGERS CRACK]
WaffleBot, look at me.
You're pregnant?
We brought the tree all the way down.
HAROLD: If you knew Maria's dad...
I didn't see her.
Uh, not exactly.
I think that they got me drunk.
Sure, no problem.
Where'd you learn to dance, honey?
Um...
No, no, no. No, you skedaddle.
It's the coffee at the shelter.
Oh, this is not good!
KUMAR: What is this? Kwanzaa Cookout.
Then why the hell would you buy a faux tree?
I'm sure they're fine, right?
- I'm sorry. - Fuck!
Smiled at me
What?
[HAROLD GRUNTS THEN CHUCKLES]
You hurt my brother!
I don’t want to sound like a Wimpy pussy
Look, Santa, we're so sorry.
It's, um...
No. Gained. Quite a bit, actually. This is a really nice house.
I've been texting you.
NARRATOR: Get the Christmas
You always do that. You keep doing it. It's crazy.
[THUDS]
Big house, lot of bathrooms.
...you're MIA.
- What? - I just felt...
- Great. Okay, great. Bye. We're good. - Please hang up...
Don't fucking spit on my dick!
The morphine. It'll wear off.
And every Christmas...
While everyone's trying to turn the power on...
Please, please, please. There is a very serious gas crisis...
Shit!
- It's opposite. - Watch out!
Thanks. Couldn't do it without the little people.
...all the work, he appreciates it.
By the way, for what it's worth...
- No. - Okay, good.
Giant Penis.
TODD: Freeze! This is a robbery. Give me all your friendship.