Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Can I put Allie in your bed?
- Oh, yeah. - Uh-huh?
Uh, Dad? I'll be damned if I can find a bottle opener.
Me? Mmm...
Wax worms are 75 cents.
I know.
and I'll lay 8 to 5 you can't get it up the entire honeymoon
Hi, John.
Dad.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
When I had my ulcers, I was...
It's a gift.
Oh shut up, fat-ass!
- Okay, here we go. - Oh, wow!
How are you gonna support her when the IRS takes your house away?
What are you talking about?
Oh! Grandpa!
Mm-mm-mm.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
JOHN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
...they expect me every Thanksgiving.
[SNYDER GRUNTING]
[HORN HONKS]
It looks like Bry is taking the skinboat to tuna town.
[HORN HONKING]
Hey. Where's Santa's favorite little girl, huh?
ARIEL: Well, it's my inspiration. - You did...? You're an artist?
Ah, the little girl is Alexandra, my granddaughter.
What do I know? I'm 68-year-old man. I got no house, no wife, no pension.
- All right. 1 937, at Todd Field... - Oh, for God's sake.
You, know, Christmas Eve. Around 9:00.
- A 25. - Seven...
...and I was just wondering if I might use your bathroom.
Honey, marriage isn't easy, you know. You gotta work at it.
I think Barry did that on purpose!
[MUTTERING]
You have a whole library up there from what I could see.
We're having a heat wave here.
[GROANS]
I'd rather kiss a dead moose's butt.
...and all you can do is shout at me. - Wait.
And I'll lay 8-to-5 you can't get it up the entire honeymoon.
[JOHN GRUNTS]
[ALL CHATTERING]
[OPERA MUSIC PLAYING]
- He's in. - He's in.
...you'd be advised to stay inside and have yourself...
[LAUGHING]
No, I'm sure John started every fight since 1 940.
You could be our next millionaire.
Enjoy your shower, smartass?
- So? - So, what's going on?
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
[BOTH LAUGH]
It's no use pretending this isn't happening, Mr. Gustafson.
You know damn well I throw back what I'm not gonna eat.
Lucky bastard.
Boy, he sure wasn't pleased about modeling in the nude.
- Son of a... - Jealous?
- I'm not nervous, schmuck. - Don't call me a schmuck, you putz.
[ICE CRACKING]
It's not worth the effort.
And I also know that the only things in life that you regret...
Here's your mail.
...or Christmas, or whatever the **** it is.
[DOOR CLOSES]
- Some game last night. MAX: Double overtime.
[GROANING]
MOVER 3: This up front? MOVER 4: Yeah.
He's dead.
- '38. - Well, it's ridiculous.
Now stay tuned for tonight's $6.4 million jackpot on Powerball.
Look at all the crap you... Excuse me. The stuff you got here.
Do you paint?
The Green Hornet's caught more fish than you've lied about, Gustafson.
Oh, sure, you were with the guys at the VFW.
Brrr
- Beautiful day, Mr. Goldman! - Hey, Snyder.
Up yours, Gustafson.
...they go by pretty fast. - Ha, ha. Yeah?
MAN: Marker.
Oh, my God, is that familiar. Your mother wondered where I was for 20 years.
Hey, Pop.
Very. She also looks to still be married.
JOHN: There she is. Wabasha.
- Oh, Max, you're the greatest. MAX: Thank you.
And if anybody says otherwise they're damn liars.
Our first number is a...
Uh, Jacob? JACOB: Yeah?
...egg-sucker Mitch Mullin? - Oh.
It would make the whole thing worthwhile.
Looks like Jerry’s Been enjoying a “different”
- Don't shout. - I'm not shouting.
Yeah, I think it's exciting to experience new things...
Medication?
[MELANIE LAUGHING]
Oh, and John...
[ARIEL & MAX SHOUTING]
Hey, Jacob, you got my vote. That's terrific.
Ah, well, I had all of this stuff that I had to get taken care of. I, uh...
- Schneider. - Snyder.
- Moron. - Putz.
It's not even Thanksgiving, and here we are enjoying our lovely fall weather.
[LAUGHS]
I'm asking you to accompany me to my office.
Oh, are those for me?
So how you been?
It's a perfectly legitimate question.
- Come here. Come on. - I'm not apologizing to anybody.
Yeah...