Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

IT'S MY ANUS, AND IT'S THE PORTAL TO A BEAUTIFUL, NEW FUTURE.
IT SEEMS DECIDEDLY UNCOOL TO ME.
I RESPECT HOW MUCH YOU'RE PERSONALLY WILLING TO PUT ON THE LINE FOR SMART PIPE.
AND IT'S NOT JUST REACTIVE.
AND ONE OF THE HOTTEST DISRUPT TECHNOLOGIES AROUND IS
RECLAIM YOUR ANUS.
OF COURSE, WE DO GET REPORTS OF SIGHTINGS
THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A SUPERHERO -- INFO-MAN!
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE, RIGHT, MY MAN?
THEY WANT SMART PIPE TO FAIL.
WE'RE EMPOWERED IN WAYS WE'VE NEVER BEEN BEFORE.
BY LETTING PRIVATE COMPANIES AND OTHER INTERESTED PARTIES BID ON YOUR WASTE PROFILE,