Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Bryce, is this for me?

You are naked What the fuck

Is that the Hudson River?

I'm gonna kill Annie.

- Really? - Yeah.

Why'd you wave to me?

He's a guy. You gave him a five-date challenge,

What? I'm excited, I'm on a first date. So...

Are you serious? Why would you just assume?

Like George Clooney.

Work your ass off, lazy.

- Yeah. - Okay.

Empire State Building.

I'm gonna have some friends over tomorrow.

- Turning to mush. - No.

We missed Your Body Is a Wonderland.

- Shit. Get back down. - Okay.

of the most conventional thing you could think of.

you met one the other day "george boing reow! i'll make sure you're alright with two trolleys love." oh that's right! i did. well i'll just be alright with two trolleys. that's one i met yet. i'll be scanning anyway for new factoids regardless. good.

but if you just get in, really go for it, ..

- Nope. - Okay.

So I guess we should just start.

Why don't you come, and you can meet some new people?

Oh, come on, dude.

I don't think I can be your Prince Charming.

Well, then you think you could use that time to shave your stubble.

- Give me the remote! Shut up! - No, I wanna watch it over and over.

and then just in a flash, he's gone.

but people do dumb shit.

I mean, no offense to your little blog on the Internet.

Well, we talked about this. I don't like you like that.

Are you kidding me? These dudes were da bomb.

God, I wish my life was a movie sometimes.

No, no, no, it's fine.

I'm a little over 6 foot.

Yeah, I miss you, too.

What's going on in there?

You see, my kidneys are failing...

Does she have a penis where most girls have a vagina?

But what the fuck do I know? I'm just the sports editor.

No, did a background check at work.

- What? - I'm kidding.

- The one with the straps. - Okay.

Yeah, I could. I've been out with a lot of them.

Welcome to New York. Go and fuck a dick.

You're just threatened by him

and try to fix the shit going on up in my head, if that's even possible.

Oopsy. Remember that?

- Fix it. - She won't talk to me.

- Please. - Great.

my girlfriend With me

He needs to know that nothing has changed.

You know they don't serve food in coach any more?

Plane actually did a lot of the work.

When I got in, you and your girlfriend were on the couch

Let's you and me go away together. No men, no bullshit.

She's from New York.

Yeah, this is where I used to come to think. My rooftop.

And you're not wrong, so learn from me.

So, tell me, how'd it go?

Hi, you've reached Jamie Rellis. I can't pick up the phone right now

MOANING SCREAMING

Jamie, baby, I missed you.

Girl, you are preaching to the congregation.

He used to write for the LA Times for 23 years.

You cracked your neck on the porch. This thing. That's your tell, remember?

- Good morning. - Is it always this beautiful out here?

I'm thinking Helvetica but I could be persuaded to Courier New.

We're not engaged, Dad. We're not together. We're just friends.

- Under one condition. - Anything.

He's at a photo shoot for the sports issue.

It's not that big of a deal.

I like my open spaces WHAT ARE YOU? A GAZELLE?

i've decided that i'm breaking up with you now! i'm sorry things just aren't working out i really am. bags pack! we are finished! no now i really hate myself! it used to feel ok to me anyway! can't believe i knew that i forgot i was married! you fucker! now let me care for you kids, now that my ex is outta the way.

and you need to just lock that down.

And when I hear a kid's been cured of cancer, I pray it's not by that douchebag,

I have to go to the bathroom.

Okay. Put it in.

I saw it in a movie. I thought I'd give it a try.

You said I was your soul mate.

Come on, they'll love you.

You're an animal. Stop doing that. An animal. Stop.

Hey, I want my best friend back,

- Sorry I'm late. - It's okay. I got us sandwiches.

- A little more... Whoa, too far! - Sorry.

- She's not coming. - Why not?

I'm just kidding. Slam away.

I just can't get myself to start looking for a replacement for him,

- It was tough leaving my dad. - Yeah.

I told him you were my gay best friend,

So am I. Who isn't?

But you're not wrong, I am damaged.

What do you know about women, anyway?

- What, are you gonna leave now? - I don't know. Yeah, I took one meeting.

Shut up, Katherine Heigl! You stupid liar!

Your whiskers are like knives.

Your vaguely Middle Eastern beauty.

Art director of GQ magazine. This is the big leagues.

oh god even i wouldn't ruythc up in god's gym with those cuanksleod runstopsieeudjclekfusisissockleots! and i won't buikner it up with nosnorsy smoekrrkmaskdjdudyranklets!

Listen, Jamie, I'm...

he's gonna be fine.

- It's pretty awesome. - I know.

Why didn't I notice that before?