Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

My friend Dave from across the hall, his oven broke, so he'll be using the kitchen.

you're emotionally unavailable? oh yea

I've seen Seinfeld.

God, you totally didn't get anything that I was saying, did you?

And now we know why you're here.

Yeah. How's Dad?

- Hand on the iPad. - Okay.

Why can't it not be like that?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Cleveland's not an island. - Oh, baby, it is.

Sports is the last chance we have of bringing our world together, bro.

I owe you big time, Tommy.

I mean, we all have our Prince Charming, you just gotta know him when you see him.

so I just crashed in your bed.

9:00. So it's a five-hour flight, three-hour time difference,

But it'd be even more awesome if this happened.

Hello, this is Jamie.

or having to go to the bathroom.

For confidentiality reasons, no.

- I'm just kidding. - Okay.

What? Did I leak?

- You sold me. - Really?

What? What? Where are you going?

I'm pretty sure that's Third Eye Blind.

You guys bicker like you're an old married couple.

I am an asshole.

and it actually kinked my neck a bit.

I don't know what to tell you. She's not for me. I don't like her like that.

That's some Prince Charming shit, though, right?

I love that sunsets make you cry

they put in at the end to try to convince you that you had a great time at this shitty movie.

- Well? - We talked. We laughed.

It was super awesome back then.

But let me tell you something, what this is teaching me

Well, they're either lying or their vaginas are made out of burlap.

You called me a pussy!

I don't know, are we getting too old for this?

I'm sorry. That sucks.

I just feel like we should chill for a while, you know?

Puppy dog eyes. Nice touch.

So is leaving your husband and kids.

Happily ever after.

When women start to scream, it could be misconstrued.

Yeah, to explore an option. Who wouldn't want to know their options?

I saw you creeping out of her room the other night.

I'm sorry, not coffee. Some green tea, soy, organic hemp bullshit.

but you're more interested in getting swept off your feet

Well, no. For a job, probably not.

I'm sorry, were you waiting for me to jump in?

And then there's something, I don't know what he says right there...

- Who says I'm looking for anything? - Dylan.

Okay. So I'll listen to you while you give me a hand job.

and they put the music in later.

Preaching to the choir. You're supposed to preach to the congregation.

That is Empire State Building.

That's exactly what this is.

- Wanna go in the bedroom? - No. Here's fine.

- Hi. - Morning.

I woke up one day and I said, Lorna... I'm Lorna.

By the way, why did you take your door off its lovely hinges?

It's not adding up to a hundred any more.

Look at you in the house!

- Okay. - Okay.

- In public? In front of all these people? - I did not ask you to...

I always want to see something really cool. What...

I worked 36 hours straight. I don't even know how I got to the park.

SEMEN CUM PENIS COCK ASSHOLE TITIES BOOBS PUSSY SEMEN CUM PENIS COCK ASSHOLE TITIES BOOBS JUNK NIGGER PUSSY ASSHOLE ASSHOLES AND DICKS FUCK ME SHIT FAGGOT NIGGER!!!!!

Can you imagine someone who would actually say that?

No. I've been in love. I went down that rabbit hole.

I live in Jersey, and I ain’t taking no ferry

- Why are you avoiding me? - I'm not.

But seriously, my door is always open.

and compliment me for looking at the trees and not the sunbathers.

I have to seat people in the order they came.

Your friend Dave is here using the kitchen or watching me?

I Can Work With That

Mom, this who's your daddy game is getting really old.

Not if they're dry. I'm not an animal.

I’m pretty sure that’s Third Eye Blind

- He's not a girl. - He smells like a girl.

Okay, well, that's technically, I guess, what this is.

Well, behind Germany and France and Belgium and Japan and China and...

I'm gonna have to check my schedule. I'm really busy.

- But... - No buts.

and I lost her because of something so dumb I don't even remember.

Jesus. She's just a girl that I met in the Navy.

Should we stop? We could just go for a run.

Times Roman. Inspired. I'm out.

to introduce you to my family.

Or her, if you're into that Kind of creepy shit.

All right, look, I think I should probably tell you something.

I'm standing right by the guy in the tie.

Because that'll be like the third time since I moved here,

Shit you're okay with.

You know, you'd be really proud of me.

- Tonight? - Yeah.

Nice work on that new online site, by the way.

I'll be on the stairs. Right across from you.

- Butt. - Voice.

Yeah, he leaves at 9:00 our time.

- No, I haven't. - Yeah, you have.

They do. It's called porn.

No, I think we both need to go get happy.

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p

- Potato, potato... - Get your shoes.

Well, here's your open space.

That's not funny.