Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

that liking a finger up your ass doesn't make you gay.

STOP DOING DRUGS, FATTY

- Are you pooping? - No.

I wanna do a campfire, like when you were little.

If you were his girlfriend, he never would've brought you here.

- Under MILF. - Oh, my God.

- Hey. - Amazing moment.

- But I thought you said... - I know what I said.

Let's go to the bedroom.

Welcome to New York go and fuck a dick!

Nobody wants to fuck Obama, brah.

- Hold on. - What's wrong?

- We're okay. - Yeah. Thank you.

You always pick people up like this?

- Okay. - How's Jamie?

Do you have a hot model in a bikini standing on an icecap?

- I thought you were going to bed. - I was.

Right. How is Dad?

- It was stupid. - Yes.

I showed her where the balcony was,

So does the carpet match the drapes?

Come on! Go away with me. Come on!

Okay, what about her?

Come on, Keep looking.

but the quality in this town is ridiculous.

The sympathy close.

Hey, you know what? You and I should stay friends.

Hey, sir, what's that tall building over there?

Do you want a banana or not?

yes beryl q1qterette? what do you want? i want to do some njerrridjddkddoip in nanjing.

- Were you also gay back then? - Harry Potter doesn't make you gay!

That's not who you want.

What, sex? That doesn't mean anything. You know that.

Well, I have a video image.

It's so good to see you, baby. I'm only gonna be here a few weeks.

New York can be a little bit lonely at times.

Well, with friends like you, who needs friends?

who's filling in for tony millionaire? craig rucastle.

No, it was like eight months ago.

- My hammies are killing me. - Have a banana, they're in the fridge.

But it'd all blow up in our faces, end badly, and we'd never speak to each other again.

- Jamie. Hey. - Hey.

- You want a drink? - Yeah!

GO AND FUCK A DICK

You just placed the new art director over at GQ, right?

The really, really tall one with the antenna on top of it, the windows.

Oh, my God. I got it, I got it.

All part of the illusion.

You will be able to find the perfect candidate to fill the position at your company.

You gonna join me?

I love that boat.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Hey, everybody wants a shortcut in life.

Look at all the cameras.

Yeah, I'm taking the 4th off, so I'll be there for three days.

- Jet Skis later? - Definitely.

Dylan, I gotta stop thinking it's not me.

Zerty Exe is the horror game

It'd be really hard.

No, it's not a gay bar.

The sneak-out. How incredibly cliché of you.

- You up? - Yeah. Come in.

You missed a little. There you go.

and it will get eight million hits.

- And emotions. - And guilt.

That's Dylan, right?

I'll crush your earlobes and make soup stock out of them.

Whatever happens, happens. I told you, I don't really want it.

And then, when I'm at my lowest point,

I like to drink my yogurt. It's a timesaver.

I didn't even blink when I told him to go fuck himself.

Forgot my saw. I'll be right back.

- Swear. - Swear.

Hey, easy, dude. Don't you go casting a spell on her.

That he was just coming to New York to explore his options.

Well, then I guess you must have been an idiot for the past six months.

Hey. I gotta go. You have a great trip in LA and call me when you land.

It's good to see you, buddy.

- get into some erotic humiliation fantasy. - Erotic?

Alcohol. Now we're talking.

- Really? Already? - Just kidding.

As long as you get your feet off my bed. They're disgusting.

It's just surprising. I always thought you were a true-love kind of girl.

So it's always just about sex, then?

- Really? - No, go fuck yourself.

Okay. His name is Parker. He's a children's oncologist.

Sign it and I will be out of here.

The girl I brought home to LA, Jamie?

See, most girls think you should start off soft,

Come on, it's fine.

And that I love you.

who's filling in for vik jekumar? jasmin trutwein.

Why don't you pick him up?

- Wait, I got it? - They called about five minutes ago.

do you really not remember where my dad's from?

dayle pinner and jack lucy cameron day and james dermer

Okay, all right.

You know, my friends used to say that when Dede and I looked at each other,

I'm sure that was the line in the movie you saw.

My life is already pretty great.

Pool's a little cold, but it's very expensive to heat, so...

Hey, man. Tommy Bollinger, sports editor.

You haven't met my family. You don't know what you're in for.

And thank you for letting me stay here. It's been pretty great.

I actually never knew my dad.

You are not allowed to do that Ricky Van Shelton will vomit

- How you doing, buddy? - I'm good.

Okay, this was not on Seinfeld.

- Do you like this position? - Yeah, it's all right.

Dylan, I think I wanna start dating again.

I've also never transferred heroin in my rectum,

I can handle anything except that look in people's eyes.

After college I was really into cargo pants.

Build up as many walls as possible. That's really healthy.

- Hey. - And your pants are coming off.

- Jamie, you all good with your room? - Yeah. No, it's perfect.

- Do you want some motherly love advice? - Not really.

- Thank you. - Welcome to New York, sir.

Like you can't breathe. Like no oxygen to the lungs.

Oh, yeah, baby, come on, now. Say my name. Yeah...

Lasorda was a good pitcher, but he was an even better manager.

Of course I was scared.

Well, the good news is, he has so many good ones.

Come on, what's your dad think about all this?

- It's more about what's inside. - Oh, please!

- Date number five. - I wasn't even counting.