Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Roldy, dude, you gotta come quick.

Dude, I don't know about you, but I'm fuckin' hungry as balls.

She's gonna have all these suave, sophisticated guys all over her.

we wouldn't want to have to tell Berenson you've been slacking, now would we?

That is so not extreme

We haven't gotten there yet. I think I may have rabies.

No. I want that feeling.

So what are you up to tonight?

whereas the White Castle situation affects both of us equally.

- Shit! - Shit!

What is that, like, five O's or two U's?

If you'll excuse me, boys, I gotta get going. Kumar.

Yeah, dude! Cherry Hill, man. We're almost there.

In today's headlines, Rutgers professor Tarik Jackson

We're gonna teach you how to read now, brother.

Are you hungry?

- Hook it up, bi-yatch. - Let's do it.

Did he just steal my bowling ball?

- Billy, you paying for this? - Yeah, I'll be there...

Book is secured

Make sure those are in by 9:00 sharp tomorrow.

Why do I have to be the catcher?

Police have released sketches of the two fugitives

Me and Pookie, we added a secret ingredient.

Jesus. These guys are frickin' everywhere.

As for the recommendation, I guess I can make a couple calls.

I'm not the one who decided to run us off the frickin' road, all right?

People have been messing with me my whole life.

I'm calling to remind you that you have another one tomorrow

Things'll go your way

- Huh? - Come on, give me the double stuff.

I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park.

- Maria. - Still not following you.

The cars are going. Can we go? How about that?

Yeah. She's going to Amsterdam. She'll be back in ten days.

Dick dick dock Cock in pussy

Fuck my wife, watch tv Anything you want

So you need to just chill the fuck out and prepare to get blazed

That land was America.

Look, it doesn't matter.

I wanna come, too.

and end our hopes of ever going to White Castle.

I'm not smoking that shit alone, okay?

Dude, get that fuckin' cancer raccoon away from me!

No eating until we get to White Castle. Let's roll.

- Bye, Harold. - Bye.

Well, boys, I fixed your tire.

I know that there is pain

Bye. Bye. I'll see you later.

Just pretend you're a nerdy Asian version of Tom Hanks

Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too

I wanna get next to you

Harold. I need you, Harold.

The hell are you doing here?

Wow! That was amazing. I cannot believe how easy that was.

- Kumar, hurry the fuck up. - All right, yeah.

Nurses, I need these two doctors scrubbed, gloved,

What are you doing? Why you throwing the weed out?!

Forget about the med school interview. It's a non-issue.

You! You had to pick up a hitchhiker! Why?!

and will settle for nothing less than justice.

Or we can take that hang glider and make our leap towards freedom.

- Hey, what's that smell? - What smell?

diffuse abdominal tenderness...

Asian tits... I wanna squeeze 'em!

No, no, I don't like breaking the law.

Shit. You know what? I left my lighter in your car.

Let me guess... the one with the purse is the catcher.

Let's burn this motherfucker down!

Something different, something that'll really hit the spot.

That was strange.

Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too... fur burgers.

- Should we? - I think you should.

Dude, fuck that shit. We had plans.

I can make the trip if you're willing to.

I think Kumar's a faygele.

Sorry, kids, we ain't going nowhere.

- Great job! - You guys did it.

Living in Northern AZ...Have you seen an Indian guy?

fils de pute nani

Yo, don't blame me, genius.

Listen, for a hot chick,

The mirror's in here. Hey, check it out. It's like a bonsai tree.

- Shotgun anus. - Forget it!

Dude, what is that? Is that a pterodactyl?

there's a rockin' Asian party down at Princeton.

Cole's Extreme Mix, Volume 5? What is this shit?

See! You said you two had nothing in common,

You got that med school interview.

How about blow jobs? Can we have blow jobs?

One of those Asian clubs she's in is throwing a party at her dorm tonight.

Yo, is that Cindy Kim?

What is that, some fortune cookie?

Hey, look at this.

I thought those guys were gonna do the work.

And in other news, the Muckleburg Police Department

I promise you he won't ever do it again.

Ding-dong! May I interject for a second?

while you read your lame-ass poetry.

As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years,

You should go to Beth Israel.

- Dude, where's my money? - You don't have money?

Fine. You want me to cross? I will cross.

Po Po Po Po Power with Bearglove

Scag! You sank my destroyer!

And I need you now tonight

Guys, let me pay for it. It's the least I can do.

I will not tolerate this business from you any longer.

There use to be a BurgerFi right here in this location...

The thought of Gianna's poopy diaper Makes me want to burn this mother fucker down