Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You gonna be driving home tonight with your wife in the car like this:

Raw Eddie Murphy

Look, all the men's faces, they're like this now:

I see a lot of you ladies going:

and a big, fucked-up Afro!

You ever, sometime, right, you get on that tawlet

I don't give a fuck. I ain't getting on nobody.

and I'd come inside the room and cut your dick off.

Fuck you and your pussy. Get the fuck out of my face.

This house is too big for one person to clean. Why don't you leave?

ltalians are funny people, because they act like niggas. lt's funny.

I got McDonald’s

What? Lillian, Eddie had a fight in a disco with Deney Terrio

Why not? She's special.

You know, because I'd fuck Mike up. You know, Mike...

Now, I'm going to tell you a story. He always tells you stories.

Oh Ehaw That's just jokes

And if you gonna let a fuck come between our love,

and beat the shit out of their kids.

Now was have 300 million and 70 trays

Are you carrying...? What is this? What is this?

I own myself. I am my own person.

That's when I got scared. I did some jokes about Mr. T.

STAND UP AND CLAP!! STAND YO ASS UP AND CLAP!!

What do you mean? We have a relationship.

I'm tired of people messing with me.

I'm gonna kick their ass?

I was praying he wouldn't answer the phone,

Like I just walked out on-stage and cursed and left.

Do I need to bring anything? You do have salad right?

Then you go out and your friends be, Yo, man, you fuck her yet?

Punch him in the face, Ed.

Then you get married, because you think you've found the bomb.

No, we couldn't afford a cake.

Then, what's really fucked up, is y'all the most loving people.

They got dudes in the doctor's office with symptoms like, Excuse me, doc,

Are we gonna go too far?

Know when your woman's gonna fool around?

and white people can't dance.

You gotta have some money, you can't get no pussy.

Eddie, what's wrong with you?

I'm gonna take the old rules off and put new rules up.

And it won't be no siren, it'll be a real fag sitting on the roof going:

Went on television and said:

You know what really make me mad,

You know what I like about Stallone's movies?

Fuck you doing with Deney Terrio?

he breaks this big fucking nigger's face.

a birthday feast for my father.

They catch you with the pussy, see. And it's a trap.

I gotta tell you, be careful. And women ain't like us.

no matter what you say, no matter what you do, as long as you say:

lf I took Brooke Shields to the Grammys,

Each day my mother would wake up and open 1 1 Twister games, Eddie.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I don't know. You better lift up the window

They like it just as much as us. See, ladies sitting there going:

is like playing Russian roulette.

I know you wanna leave me

This is my house! I don't give a fuck!

And I'm gonna bring her home and lock her up in the house.

We didn't have fancy luxuries like food.

You know how I knew y'all believed it?

Got to be careful. They say having casual sex nowadays

And you don't get a contract and get married without one

And I'd be at a party and have Michael walk up to me one day

And then you change the shit around. Right, guys?

Half! I'll take half his shit!

Cooling, right? I went in with my girlie, right?

Are you...? You're not gonna answer it?

My ego said, Now talk some shit so people know not to mess with you.

when your ass don't cooperate with you

I'm looking forward to seeing him in that leather suit.

But I'm ltalian. Watch this. You watch this, all right?

Just fuck, mother... Fuck me, goddamn it.

why don't you shake your a** home.

I put rules on the refrigerator and you never obey my rules

American women stick together. Last thing they wanna see

I got foreigners from all over walking up, going:

Don't let the lights and cameras throw y'all.

I say, 'What did he do?'

'and ate a whole fucking game of Monopoly by yourself?'

I want to talk to you!

Them little babies with them high-top white shoes on

He probably punched you for something you did

Stop. You lying motherfuckers, stop.

YOU DON'T OWN ME

Don't that make you mad, right? You know what really make me mad?

Twelve million.

Y'all do that... You ever have a woman play-fight with you?

no matter what you want, she has the ingredients at home.

When you know that “ish” don’t make no sense!

You got skeletons in your closet?

So Many Skeletons

That's it! That's your job.

I've been trying for five months to do the moonwalk

Then you grab it and get fingerprinted

At about 5:00 in the morning, the child comes through the door.

they never from the town you meet them in.