Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

How the hell you gonna go somewhere...?

He didn't tell you you were entitled to half?

Have A Coke And A Smile

Lillian cannot use the phone

Why don't you have something to eat?

So you hand her the frying pan and she say:

Great fuckin movie

you ain't no regular housewife. You ain't got to clean the house no more.

GOT TO HAVE A J-O-B IF YOU WANNA BE WITH ME.

those are usually the ones that have the most skeletons in their closet.

and sparks shot out the woman's ass

You got a lot of motherfucking nerve by asking me to sign a contract.

there's something really wrong happening here, baby.

Yeah uh Whats your mother fucking problem

You go off to Africa and get you a bush woman,

They watching y'all dance.

saying some outlandish shit.

I went out and found the perfect woman.

Ele vai te pegar, otário!

you sit there and go like, Hey, this is real.

You let it ring two or three times and hang it up.

OK. Fine. Don't touch the phone no more, Lil.

We sit down and talk it over.

You cannot say.... Filth flarn filth in front of people!

Happy birthday eddieeeee Suck my dick eddiieeeee!!!

Ego said, Because you've got an image to uphold.

That Laura sure is funny, ain’t he

I'll take a dick over a smile any day. Yes, I will.

You know why I say my thing? I wanna know why all men fool around.

and shot Jimmie Walker.

And that pain is worse, because it don't set in for, like, ten seconds.

This was it. This was the feeling I've been searching for. I finally made love.

I don't give a fuck.

And I was like, Yeah.

He's a recluse. Behind closed doors, he might be completely different.

Ain't no green peppers at McDonald's.

The woman's favorite... Y'all always make...

Shir...? What's wrong...? Hey, what's wrong with you?

Why does the rain Fall from up above?

You wait three months.

We ate the toys, Eddie.

All you have to do, you marry a man with $300 million,

My ego said, Well, give me your hand.

This sound like a tragedy, right? No, it was like this:

Youth to the government What have you done for me lately?

Cut that Afro off, go back home in style. Who the hell he think he is?

First, you make your voice go up an octave

that wouldn't rather be somewhere else with a nice stiff one in them.

lf somebody else move,

Boardwalk, Park Place, lllinois Avenue,

Eddie, who broke that lamp in 1 9 7 1 ?

She's number one!

I pay the bills. I'm gonna answer the phone too?

You a motherfucker...

how to do it to you right, because when y'all find one,

Because I ain't getting caught.

I went to a white disco recently and I watched the white people dance.

You got a problem? Well, I'm gonna settle your problem.

and talk and act and walk and do everything like Richard.

Motherfucker punched you ln the mouth

Fuck. I fucked her.

We don't have to do nothing.

Don't you ever disrespect me. Don't you ever.

You just relax, don't worry. Just be cool.

It's fucking great! I fucking love it! Alright, Hudzik!

At your mother's, the meat's right in the middle of the bread,

Bread is bread. Bring me that bread before I slap you.

- All of them. - 48 Hrs.

And had an ass like this:

Oh you just saw Interstellar

That dance ain't new. lt ain't nothing but the old shuffle-butt.

My mother made it.

The next time motherfucker call, tell him I said, 'Suck my dick.'

Yo, check it out, Your Honor. I was inside the disco.

I think I'll have some Bon Bons there.

You know I'll bust you... Get the fuck off me.

Wait till they got home and said:

and slap her in the face, Your Honor.

so my mother would write 'Happy Birthday Pop' on the Etch-A-Sketch.

You say, No, I'm not gonna do it. And after that,

Ain't no man gonna tell me where I can go.

- He looks good. - Handsome.

What's your problem, baby?

Because if I wanna drink something in my house, fine.

I can't believe that motherfucker did this to me!

And I know I've thrown my dick on the crap table many a night.

'That's all the shit I'm gonna get, motherfucker?'

She said she don't wanna fuck, she wanna make love.

Nothing Changes If Nothing changes

Because the two don't match.

Watching the ships roll in

Momma Always Says...

I don't see no rings on these fingers...

And you just keep on waiting, you just wait and finally she gives you some.

with a handsome dude. You say, How that happen?

I don't know why my stomach is making that noise.

No, don't say 'nothing'. Eddie. Nothing from nothing leaves nothing

and shove it in your fucking mouth. Don't look over there. No, you shut up.

Yeah, that Ed sure is funny.

And if there was no Hot Wheels, we used Johnny Lightning.

Well, how come you keep fucking with me then, huh?

What does he mean, he figured us out?

Aye... Wasn't me...

You say, Shit, that's better than McDonald's.

You gonna listen to me when I tell you to do something.

But I love you!

lf you fooled around, I would be so hurt and disgusted, I would wait

lf you... lf you have $5

lt works. Even if you can't fight,

he comes in and he cracks the fucking moolie's hole like this.

You be like, Goddamn, who is that motherfucker?

So the lion said, Oh, yeah? Well, I can make the stars come out.

When you transfer to a different department. But your reputation beats you there.

But they do. There's not a woman...

And I've had my share of pussy.

I'm gonna smack one of you now, you hear?

and his wife was on the other page and she was like this:

So be careful. Get married.

DEREK. WAIT! WHOA, WHAO, WHAO, WHOA!!

Because I was in a discotheque talking to Deney Terrio from Dance Fever.

At McDonald's, the meat is this thin. Your mother's shit is like this or fatter.

But once you make a woman come real hard,

No, you didn't. Maybe I didn't.

ham and cheese. I got a goddamn Silly Putty sandwich.

I turned that shit back to Johnny.