Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Then you should go home, like I told you to start with.

She liked the job I had at the time, especially while I was in uniform.

And I broke that sacred bond. It's not an excuse.

Of course you may have to make the first move,

♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪

Fuck! Oh! Get out of my brain!

You picked that douche bag up when you were sober?

I don't know about that.

- What'd you think? I was just hatched? - Well, where were you born?

Can't you see I'm trying to eat a fucking pizza here?

You got smaller.

That asshole Regent ended up getting busted

Oh, here he comes.

Think about somebody besides your fucking selves.

And second of all, what in the fuck is he doing here?

- What about the alarm system? - It's a Centaur 2100.

Now listen, don't be sitting on any toilet seats.

Okay, I'll go. But this package came to my house for you, Willie.

Oh, yeah? Well, joke's on you because my wife died six months ago. Boom!

Because I can. Wouldn't be the first time.

and then punishes you because you were naughty.

Merry fucking Christmas.

♪ Well, it's Christmas time, pretty baby ♪

I don't mean to be indiscreet, but I do pretty well.

- Get in! - You get in!

No, seriously. I did get you a gift.

Wait, bring up my office, I wanna see the safe.

It's just a semi. Don't get all bent out of shape.

Christmas in general gets me so drenched.

'Cause I'm pretty sure crabs can jump. All right?

If you gotta take a shit just stand over it, couple of feet away,

All right, big shot. You can stay out here with your GD flask.

- Time? - Concert starts in five.

Maybe next time, you'll feel comfortable speaking.

- Can you crack the safe? - Of course I can crack the fucking safe.

He heard "Pop That Pussy" in the vent, and that is a big fucking deal.

Well, it must've been packed to the gills

- And another fucking corner. - Stop it, Willie.

Life sucks a big, giant dick, kid.

♪ Shake it to the east, baby Shake it all night ♪

You know how caramels make Mama belch. Remember?

What are you, a fucking game show host or something?

- Nothing else? Shit. - The guy's a ghost.

But you're still my Santa.

or wanna show me pictures of her fucking vacation.

- Merry Christmas. - Yeah, whatever.

I found out the hard way once when I messed with my own kind.

♪ Frosty the Snowman Was a jolly happy soul ♪

Who gives a shit? As long as she doesn't get in the way.

but he was clueless enough to think

- Cough medicine. - Let me see that.

- I hadn't gotten 'tussed up in a while. - Yeah.

kicked him out of the hotel and the ejaculate conception

And without further ado, I would like to introduce our choirmaster, Renee.

I'm telling you, if it had a butt, he'd try to fuck it.

♪ Gee, the traffic is terrific ♪

You a woman of high standards,

Okay, feed the kids. Come on. Give it up.

Po Po Po Po Power with Bearglove

Hey, Di. Is it the midget that's fully proportional?

Look at this, this is not so bad. Look, you got bunk beds.

Willie? It's me, Thurman.

That's the ugliest fucking baby on the planet.

But you gotta understand, it was only business.

The midget. He tried to kill you once. I'm not gonna give him a second chance.

What? Call the police!

I'll break it down, all right.

I also found what was the closest thing I ever had to an actual girlfriend.

- Shot put. Olympic alternate. - Nice.

Drop the weapon! Get down!

Fuck me, Santa!

A hundred. Or I'm gonna carry my ass outta this old piece of a room right now.

Well, he'd get panic attacks. It was embarrassing.

♪ Silent night ♪

For four weeks.

- The bag goes with me. - You mean with us.

You know fucking well you did.

Oh, oh, yes! Oh, oh, yes! Yes, oh, come get there.

For the kids. I won't piss on the suit. I really won't.

- Chair? - Chair!

goes to this A-hole at the top.

Well, you talk like you have a cock in your mouth, shitstick.

Well, bless your heart. Cheap little fucker.

with that diseased-ass dick of yours.

I knew I should've left, second I saw your miserable fucking face.

And she's a mean fucking bitch, so don't go getting any ideas, all right?

He's home-schooled.

then you're talking about something.

Oh, well, if we're being honest, I don't like being lied to.

up to the brim, every day.

You look like a fucking albino scarecrow.

I did it once, but it felt weird.

- Will we have Christmas together? - Fuck, I don't know.

♪ Whoa, it's Christmas time, pretty baby ♪

I'm a soprano. My friend Ronnie says I sound like Mariah Carey.

You know what, just kind of stay in this section right here, okay?