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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Oh, yeah, she's something. I'm sure they only made one of her.
- Ten dollars or more. - Okay.
- You didn't tell me to bring a coat. - I didn't tell you to come.
Yeah. I found this in the bedside table.
Yeah, we'll get a pizza. No sweat.
Goddamn it.
♪ Heavenly hosts sing hallelujah ♪
Now, see? Who the fuck does he think he is talking to you that way?
- Is that close to Chicago? - No.
harder
You tried to murder me, you little prick. Remember that?
So they made me a full-time sandwich consultant.
You got all these great guys.
- Go figure. - Why the fuck would you call me?
What's she doing with that shoe? Oh, God!
Come on, baby. Come on.
Put that shit away.
Maybe I don't blame you. But things change at the end of the road.
And if you don't have cash, you can always text XMAS 999...
♪ Fa la la la la la la la la ♪
♪ All is bright ♪
You got one job this time. Open a safe.
Bye.
Daddy Fuck me like your dirty little slut
checking their list twice.
- Goddamn, did you eat your own shit? - No, I've been eating caramels.
I'm in fucking Chicago, kid.
Christina Hendricks
Probably take me about three minutes. Three and a half tops.
Hey, Greta. Could you, uh, get me a rag and a real drink, please?
I need full dossier on a Randall Cook.
Yes, I said "dossier."
And if a fight breaks out, go straight for the nuts or gouge an eye out.
Damn it, Willie. Hurry up! We're gonna miss our train.
You know what, I think you're some kind of pervert
Yes.
- I'm all ears. How wild? - What?
Lying little fuck.
Davis! Davis!
Kid, get over here and take your pants off.
Shit!
Goddamn!
Oh, yeah. Who's got the pussy lips now, motherfucker?
Okay. Fine.
All right.
- Are you out of your goddamn mind? - A hug from Santa!
Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!
Goddamn.
Not so big now, are you?
Romantic proposal at Bad Santa party By Snupy Dooley
But I thought your dad was the one you hated.
Thanks, Sunny.
- We still got it, kid. - Yeah, I guess so.
Fuck!
And a note.
Five-ways? How many holes do you have?
then what the fuck is it?
Bullshit. No fucking way. Fucking cash only.
But I think I can sneak you guys in. Come on.
Mmm.
Giving City is a charity at 98 cents every dollar
Hooker being Scrooge?? Half Off for Holidays!!
Don't say "Mama." No mom stuff!
Anyway, I think you ought to be working the sexual angle with her,
Well, according to this report,
- Hey, you're wet. - No shit. What can I do for you?
So if a happy ending is staring at you right in the fucking face,
Why do you have to go so soon? We just got back together.
washed it down with a liter of this gin...
Anyway, it took this new set of teeth to finally see the light.
- You're not mad, are you? - Mad? No. Because I get you.
- Can I fix you a sandwich? - No.
World's gonna be a better place without the fucking Sokes in it.
No, I don't do that.
But if we get fired, we got no access to the building.
- Why's that such a surprise? - Well...
Look at that.
I sure did. In my late 20's.
- Maybe he's an alcoholic. - Brilliant insight, Dorfman.
- Don't worry, I'm fine. - I'm not worried.
♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪
He heard a noise in the fucking vent. What's the big deal?
What... What is that?
♪ Merry Merry Christmas ♪
Horny drunk!
Why the fuck were they at an AA meeting?
I'm gonna spend my whole day with a bunch of damn kids on my lap?
where they put the "whee" in wheels.
End-of-the-year accounting stuff.
Ah, rohypnol. Excellent icebreaker.
- Start over. - ♪ Oh yeah candles burning low ♪
- What? Why would I want a tree? - So we can spend Christmas together.
Fine.
Mind giving me a hand over here?
How do I look?
and I didn't even get a chance to smell that pussy.
You mean a living fucking nightmare? Why didn't you say so? I'm in.
You see me walking backwards, asshole? I'm coming.
- Ah! - I even almost had a friend once.
- Fuck me, Santa! - There you go.
Call me Santa.
And you're the family I picked.
No, I suppose they don't.
And I could still fill that shot glass with this man's jizz.
And the kid, he still creeps around every now and then