Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Wait a fucking minute, you were embarrassed?
- Who the fuck are you? - Grandma Willie!
Or did you get carpal tunnel from jacking off?
- Promise. - Yeah.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Or else I'll get her done.
What do you want?
Find out everything. Schools, arrests, financials, meds.
Look at those cheeks!
- What you got? - I have $20.
Marcus couldn't fuck his way out of a wet paper bag.
Would you cool it, pal?
I don't even know what fucking year it is, kid.
What about Granny? I'm sure she misses you.
A stuffed cow that moos but doesn't poop.
I taught this muskrat everything he knows.
that I guess he forgot to pay for it.
- You gotta stop that. - Well, I know you're not the Santa.
That's quite a grip you got there. What are you, a lumberjack?
♪ I met a man who lives in Tennessee ♪
Okay. I'll only call if it's an emergency.
Maybe we should take this upstairs.
You know, like, older Jewish guys, older Irish guys, dads.
Giving City's gonna lose a record amount of money this year.
I am strictly first-class.
Go! Go, go, go, go!
And spit on me.
Keep it down.
You mean your nuts haven't been scraped off
- Does this bus go to Chicago? - No.
I'd rather them have it than your sorry ass.
♪ Well, you be a real good little girl ♪
- What the fuck? - You...
Shut the fuck up! Early release. Overcrowding.
Why do I care? Why do I care.
It was always supposed to be this way, William.
- Tell me how dirty it is. - Okay.
Ow!
Anything unusual, I wanna know about it. And cover the whole building.
Hey.
Who you calling "son"?
After COVID I’m going to kill the workouts My Back:
- Ooh! - Fucking asshole!
Mind if join you?
Okay, just wait right here. Keep it running.
And if we got no access to the safe,
I bet you got no idea how beautiful you really are.
- Time to get a move on. - Ew. Your mom?
I'm gonna remind you to fuck yourself.
- That's what I think. - I see what's going on here. Yes, I see.
You didn't tell me I'd have to get in the fucking suit again.
A stuffed cow that moos but doesn't poop. Some duct tape so I can build a boat.
- Good. - Good night, Elf!
And that is, if yours happens to be a bag of dicks, then fuck them.
You know what you need? You need some pussy.
- Kiddums. - Goddamn it. That's my mom.
♪ And the snow is on the ground ♪
What the hell is this?
Hundreds are better. What?
- Are you surprised? - No, this shit happens every day.
Otherwise, leave me the fuck alone, okay?
I want Minecraft, Halo 5 Guardians, Rise of the Tomb Raider,
Sir? This way, please.
So I help field incoming calls for the Santa appearances
- Don't test me, boy. - You're gonna shoot me too?
You know, the wise guys
"Giving City Foundation.
I'm supposed to be a Santa.
Are you shitting me? Really? You know the old lady's right.
Now, listen, here's how it works.
Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!
Well, sometimes you're not nice. But you're still Santa.
- You're burning my minutes. - But what if it's an emergency?
What were you thinking? You could have fucked this whole thing up.
because I know for a fact that that husband isn't getting it done.
Okay, go, go, go, go, go!
You guys are really good at singing. I like to sing in the bathtub.
Because I'm all about the birth of Christmas.
It's a part of my release from the joint. I've been there 3 months.
Besides, it made a man of you. You are who you are because of me.
I believe that's felching.
I'm glad I tea-bagged your drunk ass, you fucking piece-of-shit motherfucker!
Yeah, yeah. Hang on a second.
You might be, because, you know, certain pussy
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
- What's a hand release? - It's kind of a compromise.
I mean, you're the one that brought that little shit in.
Maybe you're not as smart as you think you are.
♪ From Pennsylvania folks are trav'ling ♪
I've gotta get this stuff to the auditorium.
Oh, shit!
Okay.
- And how do you know all this shit? - Because I work there, dumb-ass.
I said I was sorry. You gotta let that shit go, Willie!
♪ You're gonna see me comin ' In a big black Cadillac ♪
See, that's what I thought.
- Where the hell have you been? - What are you, my fucking mother?
Ticket please.
So you could tell him to put his dick in your purse
Let's do this.
That's none of your goddamn business what I do.
♪ Sing we joyous all together Fa la la la la la la la la ♪
- Okay. - Hey, why don't we just do it right now.
And we're very grateful. But you reek of whiskey.
it's when you play with your wiener and think about your mother.
I’m not anything like you