Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

For real? Ha!
Damn, girl, I wouldn't pick you out for that kind of shit.
She's gonna pull her rig off. And she's gonna get on all fours.
My first shot at a good piece of ass after nearly ten years
- I can crack just fine, thanks. - I'm talking millions this time.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.
So maybe there is no such thing as a Christmas miracle, or whatever.
But you said that when I was 21 that you'd pop my cherry.
- Excuse me, Mr... - Um, Cook. Randall Cook.
Fuck.
Are you outta your mind?
Boy, you been selling your blood for booze?
- Please. I need this. - Why do you care so much?
Whatever's out there on this guy, I wanna see it.
Give me that, you fucking lush.
♪ Oh, there's no place like home For the holidays ♪
You know, they're usually into anal. But their wives won't give it up.
You outta your goddamn mind?
♪ Santa Claus is back in town ♪
Hey, listen, little man, I don't speak politically correct,
A penguin. It doesn't have to be alive.
Here you go, lady, how about a little money?
And we want to thank you all for being here tonight.
I'd chew and chew and chew till they were all milky.
♪ And such happiness in the coming year ♪
Isn't that kind of like the pot calling the other cot a fuck kettle,
You just ruined a perfectly good piece of pussy
Well, hang on a second. Hang on! I only had one drink.
Oh, my God!
Idiot Moron
- You know what "son" means, right? - When did you turn into such a pussy?
My mom's in Jesus' house with Mary and Joseph and the talking walnut.
Meeting started ten minutes ago.
- Fuck me, Santa. - Louder.
But I've cleaned up my life.
It ain't, so don't eat it. That's the bulls-eye.
y
You can turn in your suit when you clean yourself up.
Oh, Jesus.
Perfect amount for my cut.
I caught a fucking midget-murdering fucking armed robber.
I got chicken feet in the fridge.
No, I think I'll hang on to it.
I ain't dancing around with a bunch of candy canes and shit.
Sure, he was a mouth-breathing, snot dripping 8-year-old
With his blood.
harder
♪ 'Cause no matter how far away you roam ♪
I'm fine.
No! Your height has nothing to do with it. I don't even see height.
Ha-ha. Very funny. Wait... for real?
- I'm trying to help you. - Look, I'm sorry.
Why did I forget?
Be right back.
I lay them on your forehead and take a picture of it.
You gotta be shitting me.
You got a match? Well, send it over!
- I need you sharp. - Goddamn it.
Like a piece of ass who didn't look me in the eye
Goddamn, what a shit hole.
♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪
Hey, watch your language.
♪ Making spirits bright ♪
some other whole thing starts that sucks ass.
I mean, a guy breaks into your house, eats your food
Huh? Yeah.
Of course. I'll be right back.
♪ Got no sleigh with reindeer No sack on my back ♪
but you don't see me holding my breath, do you?
♪ For Frosty the Snowman Had to hurry on... ♪
I swear to God, a fucking electric oven.
I'd like to call to the stage now
- Damn. Mama ain't bad. - Whoa!
- Dial it back a notch. - But now I am back.
He won't even know I'm not there.
♪ Gone away is the bluebird In his place is a new bird ♪
Who is it?
We gotta get eyes on that safe. Need to know the make.
Some pity case on account of you're a genetic defect?
- I'm retired from that shit anyway. - Give me that.
- Let go of me, motherfucker. - Melt all that stress away!
♪ Christmas, Christmas ♪
Wow.
They're getting really big.
What the fuck?
I'm sorry. I was under the impression that was the correct nomenclature.
I had to make him stay outside when I was turning a trick or bowling.
We got a job, Willie. That two grand is just to show I'm serious.
- No, I mean me. - What the fuck did you just say?
I'm gonna need a hand getting into position.