Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

We've all shared some very powerful feelings tonight.

Nice, classy place.

♪ Leave a note on your bed ♪

- That's your mom? - Yeah, that's my mom.

It's all I've ever wanted.

super-duper crazy.

Oh, my God! You look amazing, serious...

and it is my job

♪ If you want me to ♪♪

That said, Christmas is an insane amount of work.

Oh, boy. I don't know what's happening right now.

- Yeah, I did. - Did you ask her first?

- Aww, we're so proud. Whoo! - Thank you.

I can just open up. Be myself. It's nice.

who fucked her shit up.

[doorbell rings] I'll get it.

But thank you, I am.

Yeah, can we just hang out together

Who wouldn't want to be best friends with their mom?

But you are the worst mom of all of us.

♪ You like it when I do it like that ♪

I gave my coffee guy a scented candle this year.

Well, of course they told you that, Amy.

Well, you know, there was a couple of things

(Ruth) I love this.

And if you can find it in your heart to forgive her

[clears throat]

Hank, get all our bags.

your mom lick your boyfriend's nipples.

Yeah, that might be a bit much.

Hi, Ms. Redmond, I'm Jessie.

This is my house, and this is my life.

- I know. - You can't dick around.

And with what they're paying me, I think I can pay you back

We still can, mom.

Yeah, you just swap out the fuse.

Okay, that's fucked up.

♪ O'er the fields we go ♪

That didn't come out exactly as I planned, but y-you guys get...

Yeah, I would actually love that.

And let ye heart be warmed! Two, three, four.

No, we don't, we don't do that.

I'm gonna have to redouble my efforts.

Let's go slap some wieners, bitch!

Please take the bags upstairs. Gracias.

- Mom? - Ha-ha!

What? No, honey, what? Why would you say that?

- Oh. - And my sanity.

♪ Hair toss check my nails ♪

I wish I'd brought my purse.

Amy, stop! You're embarrassing the family.

Yeah. Maybe we should... spend more time together?

♪ I do my hair toss check my nails ♪

Jaxon, honey, mama needs more hooch.

What are you doing?

Ha-ha! You know what? I'm done fighting this.

- Look at that. - Okay.

[door bell dings]

Oh, I have to go Christmas tree shopping

That's the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me.

[instrumental music]

- Oh, you look great! - That's my mom.

- Yeah. - Yeah. It really is.

♪ Hair toss check my nails ♪

[knock on the door] Uh, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.

Oh, my God! This is amazing.

But secretly, they know that I'm right.

how we're doing Christmas this year.

My mom is the most critical human being on the planet.

your dad liked it when I tickled his balls.

wrap it up, give it to him on Christmas.

No, she would never let me live it down.

- We talked about this. - Alright.

♪ Without you ♪

And what's worse is...

Okay, we're done. That was amazing.

It's really nice having you here, grandma.

♪ I'm your gift unwrap me slowly ♪

Grandkids, they really are the greatest gift.

at everything and she is impossible to please.

I'll put a filter on it, so you don't look so tired.

- Or at least, a boundary. - I know.

to push her to be the best mother she possibly can be.

Most of all, I love the time with my family.

Well, either way, it was a big step.

- Oh. - Thank you, Ty.

Th-this has got to all go. A-all of this has got to go.

I can tell when you're dicking around.

[Ruth laughing]

What, honey, no, of course not. I would never do that.

you just come runnin' back asking for more.

♪ I'm gon' do it how we do it ♪

No, it's not! It's the best for you.

This place is fun.

And then you got bullied in school.

♪ Mighty fine y'all ♪

and you kept screaming at him.

- Do you like it? - No, I don't, Amy.

And all those things made your mom

The Windy City.

♪ I'm gon' do it how we do it ♪

You know, some guys cry. Some guys act real tough.

- Okay, I don't have cancer. - What?

around the city.

And more importantly, neither will your kids.

♪ Kickstart my heart hope it never stops ♪

[discordant cello music]

I miss you, you know?

- ♪ Whoo ooh ooh ♪ - ♪ Don't stop me now ♪

to see Wayne Newton before he dies.

I mean, this is not everything you asked for, but...

Oh, shit. Wait, you guys. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I feel the same way, Ty.

♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪

and I want it all gone.

Uh, oh... No, no, no.

You, motherfucker

Yeah, I guess I've just been a little busy, so...

♪ And a happy New Year ♪♪

Really. Fiv... Between five and ten grand, maybe 15, tops.

- I really do. - Thank you.

- Okay? Feel better? - Yeah.

That's okay. I'll just sleep with you.

I did. You gave me everything that I needed.