Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I'm gonna have to check my schedule. I'm really busy.

What? What? Where are you going?

I'm sorry. That sucks.

- But... - No buts.

Well, here's your open space.

Or her, if you're into that Kind of creepy shit.

- Cleveland's not an island. - Oh, baby, it is.

I don't know, are we getting too old for this?

Why can't it not be like that?

No, I think we both need to go get happy.

I'm sorry, were you waiting for me to jump in?

- Well? - We talked. We laughed.

I’m pretty sure that’s Third Eye Blind

I'll be on the stairs. Right across from you.

to introduce you to my family.

they put in at the end to try to convince you that you had a great time at this shitty movie.

- No, I haven't. - Yeah, you have.

Can you imagine someone who would actually say that?

- In public? In front of all these people? - I did not ask you to...

I'm pretty sure that's Third Eye Blind.

Well, no. For a job, probably not.

I worked 36 hours straight. I don't even know how I got to the park.

That's exactly what this is.

and compliment me for looking at the trees and not the sunbathers.

You called me a pussy!

but you're more interested in getting swept off your feet

And now we know why you're here.

But seriously, my door is always open.

I always want to see something really cool. What...

I have to seat people in the order they came.

They do. It's called porn.

Your friend Dave is here using the kitchen or watching me?

9:00. So it's a five-hour flight, three-hour time difference,

- Wanna go in the bedroom? - No. Here's fine.

- I'm just kidding. - Okay.

Hello, this is Jamie.

I live in Jersey, and I ain’t taking no ferry

- Why are you avoiding me? - I'm not.

No. I've been in love. I went down that rabbit hole.

I am an asshole.

Okay. So I'll listen to you while you give me a hand job.

I love that sunsets make you cry

It was super awesome back then.

I'm standing right by the guy in the tie.

or having to go to the bathroom.

But it'd be even more awesome if this happened.

When women start to scream, it could be misconstrued.

God, you totally didn't get anything that I was saying, did you?

Not if they're dry. I'm not an animal.

- Okay. - Okay.

That's some Prince Charming shit, though, right?

and I lost her because of something so dumb I don't even remember.

I mean, we all have our Prince Charming, you just gotta know him when you see him.

That's not funny.

My friend Dave from across the hall, his oven broke, so he'll be using the kitchen.

I owe you big time, Tommy.

and it actually kinked my neck a bit.

Preaching to the choir. You're supposed to preach to the congregation.

It's not adding up to a hundred any more.

I woke up one day and I said, Lorna... I'm Lorna.

And then there's something, I don't know what he says right there...

Nice work on that new online site, by the way.

Puppy dog eyes. Nice touch.

- Tonight? - Yeah.

I just feel like we should chill for a while, you know?

You know, you'd be really proud of me.

For confidentiality reasons, no.

- Hand on the iPad. - Okay.

By the way, why did you take your door off its lovely hinges?

But let me tell you something, what this is teaching me

- Potato, potato... - Get your shoes.

- You sold me. - Really?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah, to explore an option. Who wouldn't want to know their options?

- Butt. - Voice.

Mom, this who's your daddy game is getting really old.

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p

Because that'll be like the third time since I moved here,

Happily ever after.

Well, behind Germany and France and Belgium and Japan and China and...

Well, they're either lying or their vaginas are made out of burlap.

That is Empire State Building.

I Can Work With That

- He's not a girl. - He smells like a girl.

Look at you in the house!

Times Roman. Inspired. I'm out.

- Who says I'm looking for anything? - Dylan.

Okay, well, that's technically, I guess, what this is.

I've seen Seinfeld.

so I just crashed in your bed.

Jesus. She's just a girl that I met in the Navy.

Yeah, he leaves at 9:00 our time.

Sports is the last chance we have of bringing our world together, bro.

So is leaving your husband and kids.

All right, look, I think I should probably tell you something.

and they put the music in later.

you're emotionally unavailable? oh yea

SEMEN CUM PENIS COCK ASSHOLE TITIES BOOBS PUSSY SEMEN CUM PENIS COCK ASSHOLE TITIES BOOBS JUNK NIGGER PUSSY ASSHOLE ASSHOLES AND DICKS FUCK ME SHIT FAGGOT NIGGER!!!!!

I'm sorry, not coffee. Some green tea, soy, organic hemp bullshit.

I saw you creeping out of her room the other night.

Should we stop? We could just go for a run.

- Hi. - Morning.

You guys bicker like you're an old married couple.

Yeah. How's Dad?

Shit you're okay with.

I don't know what to tell you. She's not for me. I don't like her like that.

What? Did I leak?