Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

[ SIGHS ] FINE.

WE HAVE A BATTERED CHICKEN-SALAD,

MOM, I AM WITH DEAN.

AND THE SILVERWARE IS YOUR WORK LIFE.

AND BEFORE GOD, I SWEAR THAT YOU WILL BE PUNISHED,

I FIGURE I'LL GO IN, MAKE THE ROUNDS,

IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.

DEAN IS MEETING ME AT 8:30.

AFTER FINN'S "PASSION OF THE CHRIST,"

YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUNDARIES IN YOUR LIFE.

IT'S OKAY. I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW.

ARE WAITING TO MAKE A NEW ME.

OKAY, SO, LET'S TALK ABOUT TONIGHT.

YOU'RE NOT REALLY BUGGED WE'RE MOVING HERE, ARE YOU?

MY HEAD'S GONNA EXPLODE

THIS WILL JUST TAKE A MINUTE.

I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO GRANDMA ABOUT DEAN.

I THINK THE HANGOVER TOMORROW WILL BE PUNISHMENT ENOUGH.

SO, ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THIS DEAN?

OR, AS HE CALLS IT, "APPETIZERS."

Man: DUDE'S GOT A LITTLE BIT OF A SPANKING THING!

YOU CAUGHT THE SPIRIT OF THE THING -- I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.

HOW WOULD SHE KNOW? SHE'D KNOW.

WHY, YES, MISS, IT IS MEAT.

YOU WANT ME WEARING ALL THIS STUFF?

OF THE EVENING TO ME.

GRANDPA, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU WEAR A T-SHIRT.

NO, NOT A DRINK. WHY?

DON'T WANT ACE TO GET BUSTED.

OH, I THINK YOU SHOULD GO ON INSIDE AND TELL HIM.

I DID NOT BARGE. DO NOT ACCUSE ME OF BARGING!

AND DINNER WITH ME.

WELL, NOT SKILLFULLY,

WHAT -- AM I MADE OF MONEY? I'M IN ESCROW.

I APPRECIATE IT, BEING IN ESCROW AND EVERYTHING,

EVERY FACULTY MEMBER OVER 50 THINKS I'M EASY.

ALL FAIRLY FRESH, THOUGH SLIGHTLY DENTED,

WELL, HE'S NOT CRYING NOW, SO --

MY HAIRDRESSER'S UPSTAIRS IN MY BEDROOM RIGHT NOW.

* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CALL MY NAME *

SHE'S 20 YEARS OLD, LORELAI.

BECAUSE THE WAY THAT PEOPLE ACT AROUND HIM,

SORRY, GRANDMA. HEY, THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

MY FOLKS ARE GOOD FRIENDS WITH RICHARD AND EMILY.

NOBODY BRINGS ME HOME TO MOM FOR A REASON, OKAY?

AS SOON AS I GATHER MYSELF, I'LL BE GOING.

NOW SHE IS YOUNG, BUT YOUNG PEOPLE NEED GUIDANCE,

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

First, the basement --

HE MAKES DEALS ALL THE TIME IN BUSINESS,

WELL, I DON'T KNOW. IT'S A PRETTY TOUGH CHOICE.

I KNOW. HE WILL.

DRINKS LAST ONE HOUR AT MOST.

AND SINCE YOU SEEM SO LITTLE HELP IN THIS DEPARTMENT,

OH, WOW. WHAT A DELIGHTFUL SKILL.

THEY DIDN'T TELL PEOPLE I WAS PREGNANT UNTIL MY EIGHTH MONTH.

* AND I'LL BE THERE ON THE NEXT TRAIN *

FLAXSEED MUFFIN IN THE MORNING.