Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

No, but...
Okay. Yeah. No, no, no, no.
You brought an awful situation here.
Well...
What?
It's just not right.
She don't know what's going on. She don't have a clue.
- Is this one yours, Madea? - All right, come on.
that built a dam to save Jasper and left us without a river.
They want it to be called Holiday Jubilee instead of Christmas.
- What's your name, boy? Olive Oil? - Oliver.
It was called the Ghost and the Damsel.
Good night. She looked like old Tyler Perry.
Whew!
And this is Madea, her great-aunt on my daddy's side.
I was sitting up there, and I kept hitting my head on that steering wheel.
They didn't even leave the light on for her. She was in the dark.
Tanner, he's regular size. He ain't like a dwarf or nothin'.
You got to read this, this is pretty good.
Well, the mayor wants to see you now.
No, Aunt Madea.
Mama!
'Cause I was gonna start a fire.
I knocked the hell out of her. You know what happened?
Between that and the drought...
Most important, everybody gets the same greeting.
I'm telling you. Let me explain something to you.
Dead. Lord have mercy, that's going to kill her.
This is a hell of a mess.
There you go, overreacting, like you always do.
No, I gotta tend to the animals.
He's just pretending, just saying nothin' to this woman.
Actually, in a town like yours. So your timing may be perfect.
Do you understand? Now, what can I help you with?
- Stop babying him. - You need to start babying him.
Go on. Go on.
I didn't know it was from Sheldon Construction Company.
We are gonna have hot possum potpie. I'm gonna make it.
- He growed? - Yeah, he growed up that tall.
I can get somebody to drive up there with me.
- Where we going? - My daughter loves me.
She's got a good sense of humor and those big, sturdy feet.
Y'all want me to be on the phone?
Like your eucalyptus. Menthol. Hall. Haul.
Came flowing out like the River Jordan and that was it. It was all over.
Sing songs like Here Comes Santa Claus, White Christmas.
Well, actually, what I'm working on can help all of us.
- Come on. - Okay.
I'm sorry I wanted to get you fired.
- You believe that guy? - That was unpleasant.
- Yeah. - I'll help.
- That's all we ask. - Of course.
You can't do this to me now.
Since they built that dam upriver, we've been barely surviving.
I'm trying to save you some embarrassment.
- Yes. Merry... - Yes.
You see what happened when they took prayer out of schools.
Merry Christmas. How you doing? Where y'all went?
It was nice of you to call him.
And I know you could have gone anywhere in the country...
So you can sell your poinsettias at the Jubilee.
Would calm a storm with his hand?
Stop jumping to conclusions.
I'm just gonna ask y'all. I'm gonna put it out on the table.
- Okay? - That's nice too.
- You don't trust me? - No, no, no, it's not that.
What's this pulling on me?
- Stop it! - Take whatever I want out of here.
Okay. Maybe you can keep an eye on my class while I go into the meeting.
Then you gotta milk these cows 'cause they nipples is tough.
I like her.
Don't be flirting with me in front of your wife.
Just give him a little nudge to the flapjacks there.
She had gas. She had gas.
She just thinks y'all are tryin' to kill us.
You did not need to be so mean to that woman yesterday.
Somebody like what?
She is happy to see me anytime. Tell her.
So what number you trying to get?
Get out the way! What the hell goin' on?
I know my mother.
So he went on and stayed with her...
If I took the register, I'd be bonded out.
And the songs for the Jubilee should be about everything but Christ.
all black folk don't necessarily know each other.
You're gonna go to bed, slip into a coma...
I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to get hurt.
- Nobody's gonna die. - I have a little boy.
You are smart. You can be anything you want.
Lacey's ma... She's here?
- White lightning? - Yeah, moonshine.
That's my boy!
Hot chocolate does wonders. It's delicious.
Don't you ever...
It's not just the farm.
You can't get everything your way.
- Sure you can. - I really can't.
Y'all, sometimes I just think I'm not cut out for this.
And the holiness is come upon me...
Okay.
Don't be pushing on me.
Hurry!
Just think of this as a little extra money for you and Cora.
Yeah? Well, school is gonna have to wait.
Actually, Lacey's a vegetarian.
I'm just kiddin'. She got a nice rack.
Look at my Grizzly Adams.
but I just kind of feel a little guilty about the way he turned out.
So it's definitely gonna happen.
Maybe because it had a yellow ribbon around it?
Oh, no.
Make it about Santa Claus and not about the birth of Christ.
Mechanical Energy To
Not Mandela, honey. Madea.
They come in here taking advantage of her...
I tell you what, it broke my heart to be gone so much...
Now, let me see.
You better hope she comes back she's the only one that likes you here you dirty farm asshole Bitch shut fukk up slob on this knob and lick my fukkin nut you banana cantaloupe rice and corn chex honey bun krispy kreme eating feminine ass bitch
Lacey, come show us this farm.
Your Mama Lied About Her Heart Attack, She Had the Flu, We Got to the Hospital She Was Clutching Her Pearls and Thought She Saw the Light Then the Doctor Said, She Had the Flu, It Wasn’t No Heart Attack
little children of God, or your mama...
- That's what I said. - Conner.
That was a nice ruse to get to see him. Fund-raiser.
Well, my daughter's paying the mortgage...
I want to thank you all for coming out to the Christmas Jubilee.
- Other people take... - You sure?
All right then. Let's do this.