Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Come on.
- I'll be right back. Thanks, Madea. - Yeah, I love it.
I'm sure.
You ain't mailing me no check. Where's my money?
Dad, stop it. Come on.
When they sang in no music, what is that?
Where y'all going?
You run long hos?
I'm in here. Do yourself a favor. Do the right thing.
He ain't a dwarf. I mean, shoot, he'd take a dwarf.
Kind of lets people walk all over him.
- Lacey, I'm sorry. - There we go.
I understand. I like to cook alone myself sometimes too.
and your mama has been bitter with white people ever since.
- It's your Christmas present. - No. I can't take that.
What are they doing here anyway? Tomorrow is Christmas!
What?, Daddy is Gay? Yeah, He Left Your Mama for that Broadway Guy that used to live across the street from y’all
You lost your damn mind
This is my Aunt Mabel. But everybody calls her Madea.
You don't know what's going on here, Bailey.
I didn't ask you. I asked Bailey.
- I'm stuck. - Can you move your...
and you call me out of the blue because you need my help.
Ex-boyfriend.
Okay. Well, this is all new to me. I don't know, but... I'll try.
Eileen, what you doin'?
And as she was there...
I can deal with a lot of things. They know it.
You better hope she comes back.
All right. Well, I will work on it.
They don't wanna come home sometimes.
What I would suggest you do, hunty...
Well, how was I supposed to know that?
I love you. I'm proud of us. I don't care who knows.
- I could spit. - What's wrong with you?
We have four teachers teaching several classes.
- Hello? - I must be dialing the wrong number.
- Eileen? - What?
You have been talking since we got in the car.
I studied agriculture at New York State.
Hold on. Hold on. I heard somebody say, Go. Oh, Lord.
Come in. It is cold.
Drive! Hell, they're KKK!
- Who is that? - Your mama.
This is the story of Christmas. Christmas.
Unbelievable.
And Joe said, Really?
Oh, my God.
No. No, something is wrong. I'll call him.
- I told you. - Aren't you glad you didn't do anything?
Santa Claus is okay.
He called me back.
- Pull the seat back. - I'll sit in the back. Hold on.
I'm sorry. That's awful.
Then he gets up early in the morning to work with him...
It's nice, Mama, huh?
I ain't goin' to no church. The devil is a lie.
Do not look at me like that. You don't understand.
White Christmas.
I made a mistake...
Don't look at me like that.
I've been worried about you.
I thought it was unison, and a cappollo.
Did I tell you I take blood pressure medicine that makes me have to pee?
- Yeah, that would be great. - Okay, great.
- What? - The sponsors don't want it.
Y'all was in high school back then. I got to pee, son.
Well, 15 years ago maybe that lingerie worked.
She fixin' to kill her mama on Christmas Day?
That what I say? Fine. I will say that.
We could get new books, maybe even a new computer.
- I'm gonna get it myself. - Don't you have to go to school?
That is the truth. You should've told her.
Them people are not in no Ku Klux Klan.
Uh-uh. It's Christmas.
Yeah, but you still gotta be careful...
- This is my mama, Kim. - How you doin'?
- Drowned. - Because he had cancer.
How are ya? How ya doing?
Joy to you and yours. Yes, may I help you?
That depends. Can you help me with my school situation?
Madea, I told him how much Lacey talks about him.
- Here. - What's this?
Now get your ass in that truck!
I need a bathroom. Is there a bathroom here somewhere?
Okay, okay.
- I can't believe that. - We tried our best.
- A farm? What she starting a farm for? - I don't know. I don't know.
She don't need to be coming around here.
You're disappointed in me?
Surprise!
Got all these animals. This is a nice room. I'll stay in here.
Wow.
- Now, just smile. - Okay. I'm smiling.
- I can't sit on this cup! - Then stand up.
Shut the...
That's a damn shame. Gonna kill that woman on...
- Did you paint this? This is fabulous. - I started.
We gonna come out here tomorrow, you gonna be a black Statue of Liberty...
- Wait, what? - They put one of them rods up there.
- Put it on speaker. - Yeah.
- I'll pay you. - What time you wanna leave?
Madea and I will share a room.
She's too pretty to have hair on her chest. Really.
- Yeah, look at all the animals. - It's very nice. Yes.
- We gonna go down there. - I'm not driving to no Alabama.
Gone, like that, if you ever have a problem with...
Leave that boy alone. Where else he gonna sit? Sit down, son.
Yeah, and they don't need references to religious figures.
Why you hollerin' like I'm in the back of an airplane and you in first class?
Those days are over, honey. Somebody should've told you it's passed.
Madea, whose side are you on?
We saw this. This is the dining room. It's yellow.
- Who's the sponsor? - I don't know.
No, he ain't doing that. Look, he's a smart kid, you know.
Keeping up a lie...
Never mind.
You have no clue how much you've just helped us. I mean...
You think I'm gettin' ready to drive through Alabama?
That's why they say he was born in a mangy.
We did.
Apparently you don't know her as well as you think.
He'll put you down. Where are my manners?
May I have everyone's attention?
and that baby came next to that mangy dog.
We don't want her ticker to tock out on you here.
All right. I'll be outside if y'all need me.
Where are my manners?
- Oh, no. - I'm so sorry.
Otherwise, I'll be here every day, kick your ass like I did back in school.
Your Daddy and the Broadway Guy ran off and joined Rent and now They’re on Hamilton
We don't care what the hell you meant. Do we?
- Now, don't. - Baby...
- Hey, what's going on? - I mentioned Tanner and he lost it.
You're used to that. Hell, his mama breast-fed him until he was in ninth grade.
Eileen, you need to stop right now, honey.
It's hilarious!
But it's all right. Y'all just dating.