Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

With a company that's in the middle of a PR nightmare.

I get a little drizzle, but them quarters hurt.

Joy to the world and the Lord is come, and happy Easter.

What the hell these people doing here?

Then why won't you tell her?

I'll go to hell and back to get away from her.

What wrong with you, cutting down her daddy's tree?

My name is Madea, honey.

The heads of the company are coming down on a private jet...

- He knows the science of it, Mama. - No, I heard that last night.

Yeah, she had gas.

- What you're working on? - Yeah.

No, you can't do that. Put... Madea.

- What? - I want to...

Y'all look so nice.

- We came. - Surprise.

- Boy, that's the truth. - Gotta wait for that.

That's all right. I don't care that y'all are white America...

Kid's still beating him up?

- Thank you. - All right then.

Yeah, it's not my cup of tea, but you know.

That is so inappropriate.

that doesn't mind keeping the Christ in Christmas...

How do we talk about Christmas without talking about Jesus?

Tanner McCoy. Yeah, okay.

Bailey is always telling me how good you are to him...

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring...

- We sure do appreciate you helpin'. - No. That's fine.

I'm sorry. Say what you're saying to the children.

Yes, ma'am. Right over yonder.

Okay, that's the story of the baby Jesus. That's the hip-hop version.

when they ask you for something, and you can refer to this.

I'm gonna ride with him.

I can ask your Aunt Madea to come with me.

I know this school is not the best, but it is all we got.

Didn’t You Know Mama Ruth Had a Heart Attack Last Year?

This is going to be a wonderful Christmas after all!

Do you think we should leave? I think we should maybe leave.

Well, the contract says... no nativity.

I know what I saw.

I've already talked to him about this, but have at it.

You ever woke up on Christmas morning and didn't get the gift you wanted?

I'd like to see that, 'cause you don't drive.

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

At the science of it, not so much the farming.

Actually, we kind of have a problem.

I ain't bought her nothing since she was seven years old.

- It's great to see you, Lacey. - Yeah, you too.

A men's watch. You know, I like it with a leather band.

Yeah, I've been thinking about that, and I have an idea.

If we cut back more, we'll not be able to finish the school year.

You work on my nerves.

There's a weird woman in here.

I can't pretend to be somebody. I'm not an actress. I'm not Reba.

- She's in there trying to cook something. - Look, he's trying.

Oh, hell. It's time for my break.

That's not what I was talking about. I was talking about the sponsor.

Look, this is 2013, and it's almost Christmas.

Don't get your hopes up listening to Eileen.

Ike wasn't gonna put his hands on me. That's all I'm saying.

Manganiello, who played a werewolf.

Then he'd put a sheet above himself...

And plant it in the backyard. Get her a ribbon.

That's what I don't like.

I bet this house run them in the double figures.

We would have thrown you such a shindig. You know that.

We don't have the budget!

You know you miss him.

- and I actually have to tell you... - Lacey!

Listen, I'm sorry, but we're coming.

Look at you. You look like a mountain man.

You been gone from around here for far too long.

You were out there with them for a while.

Your Daddy wasn’t killed by no KKK Member

- What happened? - What?

All right now. We gotta get outta here. Come on.

What the hell y'all looking at? What the hell all y'all looking at?

Damien and Michele .. are getting on my damn nerves.

It's good. It is good.

- They're in the trunk of the car. - His name is Conner.

All right, I'm going to write my name on the board...

$100,000. That would be great.

She made a deal with the devil.

- What are you doing? - Giving goodwill towards men.

Have you ever thought maybe she just don't want to see you, Eileen?

I just wanna tell you all how sorry I am.

Hilton. Shut the door.

- Well, there's a switcheroo. - The farm help.

Hallelujah. Let the Lord use ya.

- It's Christmas. - And that woman...

is even more impressive.

Boy, I tell you what, Son, she's way prettier...

Son, you got to slop them pigs early in the morning.

You better bite your tongue.

she cuts down my daddy's memory tree and acts like she doesn't even care!

Yeah. And to know he works after school and in the morning...

and I asked Miss Madea to keep an eye on you.

Okay. You better wear a cup.

You're a smart woman.

That's a bull. You can't milk no bull.

Get off my mother-in-law, you son of a bitch!

I am thou-ist with the child-ist.

Between my mother and my job and... It's just all a bit much.

Did you hear the one about the two rabbis and the black dude?

This has got to be a mistake.

Here, let me take this, Daddy.

- I love it here. - Thank you.

let the Christmas Jubilee begin.

I graded another one of Bailey's homework assignments...