Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I don't know if sorry can make up for it.

I thought you just said you went to play hockey and then went to a funeral.

He went home to change for the big date.

- Living proof. - l thought you never sold cigarettes to kids.

Including you ? Yes.

37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks In a row?

That's his fucking metal face. Olaf, girl nice ?

Then my mother told the paper we were engaged.

"But You're Living In Denial And Suppressing Rage, Motherfucker."

-Would you just go open the video store? -Yeah, you cock-smokin' clerk.

Do you know how much the average jizz mopper makes?

Wanna come to this party tonight ? There's gonna be some pussy there.

[ Chuckling ] Stings a little.

I put her back in it. it's not like it matters if she breaks something.

Do l get to hit you after you tell me ?

[ Jay ] Come on, limp dick !

We got what, 12 minutes of a game and it's over ? Fuck !

- What are you talkin' about ? - An angry mother called the state division of taxation...

Aside from the cheating, we were a great couple.

I don't know if you know this, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.

Jay - YEEEEEAAAH!!!!

- She didn't even know I was at the party. - Oh, my God.

This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.

As such, we have certain obligations that, although they may seem cruel and unusual,

- Pull my laces tighter, man. - I've got to tell you, my friend,

try not to get addicted to opioids on the way to the parking lot

- Yeah. - You, uh, say Caitlin Bree ?

37! My girlfriend ran 37 miles! In a row?

That's what you're doing now by paying for this so-called privilege to smoke !

- What do you care, you shoe polish-smelling motherfucker ? - l have a responsibility here.

- Were you working here about 4:00 ? - Yes.

pull yourself out of this senseless funk that you've been in...

If l had to work here all day, I'd be bloated and out of shape too.

- You should shit or get off the pot. - l should shit or get off the pot.

within a three-mile radius with their lasers.

I don't appreciate your ruse ma'am, Your cunning attempt to trick me.

- [ Girl Laughing ] - What's up, baby ? What's up, sluts ?

Shit or get off the pot

<MUSIC> How l feel <MUSIC>

- Let me borrow your car. - l don't want to talk to you.

- I'm sorry. - See ? There you go again.

- but what are you talking about ? - The ending of Return Of The Jedi.

Buncha savages in this town

so much more important than it really is.

Yeah, right. Who was it, then ? Randal ?

I had to knock you down from that cloud you were floating on.

which would give me no reason to work.

Oh, look at you. ""l don't hang out with drug dealers.""

Here, let me refund your money and we'll call if even, all right ?

Did he just say "Making fuck?"

It's cheaper than cigarettes, and it certainly beats this.

Happy Birthday Time to kick back, drink shome beersh, and shmoke some week

- You're Rick Daress ? - Yeah.

Try not to open a new Patis on your way to the parking lot!

I think that constitutes something more than just seeing somebody.

this job would be great if it weren't for the fucking customers or lazy/uninterested/unhelpful techs

Not this one. Maybe the one you got underneath this one.

Work instead of Curveball

<MUSIC> And now just when l know what I'm after <MUSIC>

I can never reach

Say, uh, what kind of toilet paper you got back there ?

Hey, try not to assassinate anyone on the way through the parking lot

I saw her rubbin' your back, fuckin' comes and brings your food.

So, you still talk to Silvan ?

You know, the insides of those has got stuff that can give you cancer.

Any contractor working on that Death Star knew the risk involved.

You push fuckin' buttons. Anybody could waltz in here and do our jobs.

Empire had the better ending.

Well, uh, that depends. You got maybe a toilet in here ?

<MUSIC> Take a number, knock on wood <MUSIC>

- Yeah, number six. - You've had sex with a dead person.

Why did you tell Veronica that l was gonna dump her to go back with Caitlin ?

'Cause somebody's telling it like it is, giving these fine people a wake-up call?

I like the way you think.

Who's asking ? I don't want to marry you.

Walk On The Boardwalk, Then Get Naked Somewhere"" kind of private date ?

I'll never come in here again.

Don't hurt yourself, buddy. I'll go to Big Choice Video instead.

Hell of a game.

Is he talking about making crack?

- He's right. As if we're going to have a run on Gatorade. - Fuckin' A.

- Please calm down. - How many ?

is regarded as disorderly.

<MUSIC> I know you know I'll tell ya <MUSIC>

You haven't said anything for, like, 20 minutes. What the hell's your problem ?

<MUSIC> How l feel <MUSIC>

- And he got cancer from chewing fluorescent bulb glass ? - Nah.

Please, Veronica, at this point, the last thing l need is a lecture.

Come on. Get him, get him !

I'll throw this out as a precautionary measure.

And when she dumps you again-- and l promise you, she will--

She thought it was me.

What you want, Grizzly Adams ?

- They build another Death Star, right ? - Yeah.

It's like in order to join they have to have an I.Q. less than their shoe size.

<MUSIC> And I'm lookin' for a way to get outta here <MUSIC>

A roofer listens to this, not his wallet.

Han Gets Frozen, Taken Away By Boba Fett. It Ends On Such A Down Note.

My friend is trying to convince me that independent contractors working on the Death Star...

- I'm going to miss the fucking game ! - Because you buckled.

This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.

I’ll assess all I want, pal!

There was something else going on in Jedi. I never noticed it 'til today.

Don't take this the wrong way, but, uh, l used to fuck her.

- I'm gonna grab a Gatorade. - lf you grab a Gatorade, then everybody's gonna grab one.

- You know what really pisses me off ? - That I'm right about your buckling ?

Oh, Jesus. You're so caustic.

It's that mentality that allows the cancer-producing industry to thrive.

Meanwhile, at Fark....

Nah, man, don't let it bother you. That was a long time ago.

38! 38 texts! - in a row ?

I brought the orange one and... the orange one.

37 dicks! Paul Bradley's sucked 37 dicks! In a row?

One of the magazines you got in the back behind the counter.

Hey try not to have any birthdays on your way through the parking lot!

He speaks some English, but he cannot speak it good like we do.

And I'm gonna play like shit because I didn't have a good night's sleep.

Well, Randal Graves,

<MUSIC> Just in case you feel led astray, hell, yeah <MUSIC>

Bye. Take it easy.

This has been going on for 20 minutes now.

That's when the girl found him. [ Sniffing ]

<MUSIC><MUSIC> [ ""Berserker"" On Tape Deck ]