Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Thanks. Thanks... Thanks for everything.

Listen to me. Listen to me.

You say whatever you want.

Hi. How's it going?

Listen to her. She's going wild.

I remember how embarrassing it was

And you got to try and catch it, OK?

Let me introduce, over here to my right,

of your summer stock experience.

Fred, get me back on the air.

I'm gonna get these guys to hire you, all right?

We give the award for best student film

Right now, I need to know, are you doing it or not?

But I think it's right that I go crazy, you know?

Yeah, it was my fault.

This is the God's honest truth.

How you doing, man? Good to see ya.

[Both Chuckling]

More than anything, I'd like the public to appreciate me.

You think it's funny to make jokes about our personal life like that?

And quite frankly, I'm just a little bit hurt

Let me tell you something.

bunch of creeps, and I'm not afraid to say it right now,

send a hit man to the United States of America

Look at me! Look at me!

And what were you in?

I said when we came here, if I was gonna win on the radio,

You spin and you spin and you spin.

"These are cocksucker, motherfucker,

# I'm a tortured man #

And on the air, you do what you do. That's your job.

"If necessary, stuff a semirigid, large object

- All right... - [Shivering]

Donald get the fuck out Donald get the fuck out

Ben: Shut up! Sit down!

- Please! - For God's sakes,

Hey, the Duke of rock's gettin' ready to walk,

Come here. I'm gonna kiss your feet.

There's a perfectly good explanation.

Although, I did manage to convince one of them to be my weather lady.

His name is Pig Vomit.

I squoze it myself.

There's no smoke in here.

My grandmother died last night.

I won't make any money.

What an ad-libber, Ross.

And I blow up the whole damn thing.

Joe… You are the motherfucking Antichrist!

An hour and 20 minutes.

I just changed my mind.

Ohh! Army? Navy?

Robin: Was it a boy?

[Enunciation Unclear] Howard goes to Hartford at CCC.

May I say that you are beautifully big- breasted again?

- He's like a... child. - [Jackhammer]

And anything bad you say about negroes,

I've been pissing off every publicist,

Fred: She's right.

and the corresponding days of the week,

My father commuted every day,

Uh, you know, I bought a book,

No. I changed my mind, and I'm really sorry.

Maybe the two of you would like to have

Someone more pathetic than me.

if you have the same kind of problem.

No. Actually...

And we can just mail them a picture of that,

Don't hurt yourself, man.

Now, from now on, all your little bits

I'll tell you, nothing makes a woman hotter

and we'll be done with them in a second and we'll be out of your way.

Just give me a couple of days to make them understand.

That's what I thought. Monaco.

I'm going to do everything I can for you.

Our first clue up is...

And this is the hell that's my life.

He says it through a character.

and you're jamming the kielbasa

they're really desperate for me, which I like.

Mandy has agreed to actually get on the floor with me

and you're putting it in your mouth,

I'm showing my apartment now.

Its pronounced W - aye - T!

You have Howard Stern outside my fucking office?

I don't want to end up like that. It's so sad.

Good. Now, I'm gonna go in there

And every time I feel like I shouldn't say something,

I just told you I went there as a kid, and now the grand opening...

[Tires Screech]

Mr. Stern, he's in a meeting.

you still would've lost the pregnancy.

I spent all night with her in the hospital.

It's not radio.

Howard On TV: I'll tell you another thing...

Yeah. You're beautiful.

Caller: I have one of those big sound systems.

And I start tomorrow?

You've got to tell everyone. My audience wants to know why you're interrupting.

That's exactly what I'm telling you.

and now this dickwad is calling me Big Bird.

And you know why I'm pissed? I'll tell you why.

If he slept with 16,000 women,

and put the bass all the way up?

Did you just say, "big cock coming out of your mouth sucks"?

is to make up a grid of all your comedy bits

You want to be management, you fire him, huh?

# One more time, and when she got to... #

This guy must be hot.

Howard: # I'm a radio star #

# There are many here among us #

# Let's dance #

I liked that. A little bonding.

Coming up next on the Big Bird show.

You have the face of an angel.

What do you look like?

[Smoke On The Water Plays]

Snap to it. I'm ovulating.

[Trumpet Fanfare]

My wife, she comes home from work, she goes to sleep.

# Yeah, you really got me now #

I mean, I have to be romanced.

Now, give me a call here at DC 101

I can't believe you made me do that on the air.

I'll tell you what, I'll just kneel over here,

Mr. Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling.

Well, every morning I lie in bed,

You punk! Fuck you 1000 percent

- That's correct. - That sucks.

Were you a Beatles fan?

General Sarnoff formed NBC radio,

We gotta move to Miss Brett Somers.

Howard, you gotta listen to this man 'cause he's a genius.

[Faucet Squeaks]

- It's nice. - Sit down.

I bring egg rolls.

I'm begging you to... I'm liking it down here.

Come on. Come on.

Hey, God, me and my wife are trying to have another baby.

and becomes the wacky morning man at WCCC."

and it's a wonderful thing to have you here,

Do what you need to do.

# La la la la la la #

No, it's a very quiet street.

Nobody. Maybe, like, 3 guys in a dorm somewhere.

Oh, the underpants are coming off.

I was a captain in the Air Force. What were you?