Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Come on, now. Ha ha ha ha.

because we have a stage star with us.

Take my hand, Howard.

- You do not. You look beautiful. - I look like Babar!

and, uh, I'm in Westchester, New York, and...

Welcome. Oh, Robin, it's so lovely to see you here today.

I can help you. Robin, I can help this girl.

I'll have him stop.

I kind of want to wrap my legs around you.

And, Vin, please, if you hire Robin back,

In fact, I haven't gotten laid in a really long time.

did you ever get nervous?

"No jokes dealing with flatulence,

What are you doing?

as long as Prince Reindeer is ready for a new wife.

Good. Fuck you.

She might start second-guessing.

but I want you to cover your ears and eyes.

I got a job offer today from WNBC in New York.

but our own news guy Ross Buckingham

She's full of it.

Howard: Isn't Alison amazing?

Howard: No. This is really wrong, Robin. You're absolutely wrong.

Yeah. Makes me nuts.

# I'm bored with sex #

to be having the news now.

Brad, you gave this trash-talking bastard a 3-year deal

It was funny for us last night.

You know what you could do?

So then she takes me into this tent.

Also note paragraph 2:

right after these words.

Absolutely. And when you said,

OK, let's go to our own Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling.

Holy cow, are you naked.

How are you, baby?

which of course meant 6,000 black guys and me.

because I'm happy 'cause I got laid last night.

I go to Pizza Shack all the time. Great.

burning every freakin' bridge in the industry,

Reporter: This is a story with a twist.

First, a political statement, if I may.

Just patch the phone call onto the air, OK?

Seriously, she was the most enchanting woman I'd ever met.

We had a sloppy and a fuzzy pussy and a very big one.

OK? Now call me as soon as you get to New York, will you?

When you were in the theater,

107 FM... The Ramones... Gabba gabba wee,

You'll feel at ease once we go do it.

I understand that, and I'm telling you

they're gonna syndicate my program all over the country.

CCC, AM 1290, FM 107.

I want to thank all of you. Give yourselves a big hand.

I want you back so bad...

[Robin Chuckles]

# I've got a big nose and a skinny neck #

Would call in and tell me how bad I sucked

Think about that while the celebrities are writing.

It's gotta be more like this.

Oh, for God's sake.

I couldn't sit there and not say something.

Hi. I'm really looking forward to working with you.

Wait a minute. You said Howard Stern?

in the middle of a fucking bit.

if I gave up my programming job,

- Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. - I'm sorry.

I'm still on the air,

What are you talking about?

- Hi. - Alison: Hey.

Nobody told me anything about a donkey.

You're gonna miss it.

You're back. I got you back.

I know a guy, he does voices, he does comedy.

Actually, I just want to say how much I really missed you and...

and hold that up so I can see your cock.

In fact, all my life, people have told me I was a moron.

that they're unfairly stereotyped.

All I want is you.

For God's sake.

but I'm trying...

You tried to have a baby, and you failed.

Wait a second, Kenny. What are you talking about?

- No, they do not. - Yeah, they do.

Now I actually want to have sex.

But I must tell you, my life is, um, very odd.

That means they're, you know,

I'm here for the shoot.

Uh... y-yes, I... I was, once.

Sans panties, sans bra.

People of Earth...

That's the whole point. You and Fred should quit,

Just hold the line.

# Ooh, Mama look-a boo boo day #

I promise you I will not disappoint you.

I can't believe it.

But I'll tell you something,

I am just so uncomfortable in this Detroit. I'm...

Hello? Mama? Uh.

more than anything in the whole world,

I was planning on being on time.

This is good. This is good. We're getting somewhere.

# Knockin' me out with those American thighs #

and then we're gonna get right inside, so...

Can we get him?

but, uh, I'll never let that happen again. You know what I mean?

# Biddi-bim-bom, ay- yi-yi #

I just... I just got to go.

I am now the number one disc jockey in New York,

Very much so. I've wanted to be a disc jockey

She just wants to be like all the other yentas who walk around.

OK. We've got our next phone call to Ross.

Listen to me...

Welcome to NBC, Howard.

to welcome back on our show

Howard comes to Washington.

I wanna say I love W N BC.

# Melting me down #

What are you saying? I didn't do anything.

Laine, get the fuck out!

than to be with an award- winning filmmaker.

and I pumped you full of every medication possible,

She'll get naked?

Don't push, honey.

Howard's, like, a big fan of the cops.

Hi, I'm Howard.

Great to meet you.

Look, but if they hate him,

Howard, As The Man: You like that, huh?

Now, to ensure our place in the history of radio,

[Together] W N BC.

Just look right at the camera,

Can you take your top off?

I like that you're the perfect height.

I did not get, uh, laid last night.

# She kept her motor clean #

Oh, yeah? That's bullshit!

Hi, Robin. We back on the air?

I want to know why this guy had to cut my show off.

Vince just got hit by Kenny.

Blank a-doodle-doo.

I looked forward to that.

I was also still living with my parents...

Jackie The Jokeman?

["Ooga" Continues]

It's hard, you know.

Oh, that's right. I'm sorry, Kenny.

You can't wait?

- I don't advise you living here. - Excuse me.

Ready? Here we go.

I was in the 103rd...

with your special brand of humor.

I can convince these guys to bring you back.

I'm wondering if we can come in and just hang out for awhile.

You're completely out of line this morning.