Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You got to think about the economics of this.

It's x-rated radio, barnyard radio.

The only way to do that is to stay on the air.

- A year? - Yeah.

- I look like an elephant! - You don't look like a house.

if Robin was with me.

so I'm taking the whole group to...

Alison dumped me,

that boy will be asking permission to wipe his ass.

Hi, honey. I missed you.

Oh, more! Harder!

No offense, Julie. Please, I don't need this aggravation.

It helps relax the muscles.

No, there's not, Howard, 'cause your career is over. You're finished.

And you know, I hope you can get them,

that the commercial sponsors are there once you get the ratings.

Show business was definitely for me.

Good seeing you. I'll see you later.

I need to know I'm the only one.

Mama, you there?

Well, I've got blond hair, and I've got blue eyes,

about putting some money into the show.

and it's my great pleasure to introduce you

# You got me so I can't sleep at night #

You didn't go all the way before?

I'll do whatever you say if you just make that come true.

Look at that. Ooh.

No. It's just very humiliating to me.

Right now, you're getting a look at a live broadcast

If you give me a couple of days,

Brittany: Howard?

I'm a disc jockey who makes $250 a week,

It's not good for ratings.

All the management at NBC...

[Doorbell Buzzes]

and none of these people know who I am.

Howard On TV: I took a dump of a radio station and returned it to glory.

I need Robin. She's the anchor on the show.

You hardly ever say a word.

they treated me like I was a jerk.

Absolutely, sweetheart.

All right, OK, fine.

Ooh. It kinda tingles.

Howard goes to New York.

And, uh, "There's only one Stanley Sports,

my whole neighborhood underwent a demographic shift.

Howard, Fred, I'd like you to meet your new newsman,

Now, Mark David Chapman, now, there's a guy we gotta talk about, Ross.

What about you specifically, though?

I really wanted it to work.

# I'll take you there #

What part did you like in particular?

What a thing to go through life with.

You know, it's funny, but her last words...

"Big cock" coming out of your mouth sounds awfully dirty.

Let me ask you something. Would you still love me...

Yeah. If you want to read it, you can.

I get fucking nothing! That's what I get!

Porno For Pyros: # Got my hands into something #

I told you not to be stupid, you moron.

Then you know what you gotta do?

This is the Tudor, right?

I can't even look at you, idiot!

gets assassinated by Sicilians in Palermo.

that I'm really not a very big fan of yours,

What's happening, man?

I want the time and the temperature

You heard that?

All right? How's that sound, partner?

Kenny: Thanks, man. God bless.

He was an engineer at a radio station in Manhattan... WHOM.

What am I thanking him for?

Now, I could be crazy, but I figure a guy who's been married

I know you can hear me, and you're at God's side,

Looks like rain.

Advertising is up. Profit is up.

No, forget that. I want them to love me...

Lay it flat on the floor.

[Doing Mama's Voice] Yes, hello. This is Mama Look-a boo boo day,

Alison: Well, I appreciate her support. Can we talk privately now?

and I've got a great two for Tuesday.

I'm worshipping your foot.

Guess what. You are done.

so it doesn't quite matter, really.

[Elevator Dings]

The whole week goes by, she never gets horny.

No. I'm wearing, like, little baby-doll pajamas.

but was never charged.

You know, when I got to NBC,

what would you do?

and he makes you want to vomit.

And the point of this whole thing

I just had the worst night of my life.

Look at that. A full 13 inches, ladies and gentlemen.

wanna be black people who clearly are not black

Ross Buckingham, have you ever seen a woman

Look, Rushton told me, this phone...

You have violated my wife.

Do you want me to go on?

She's a beautiful girl. You're telling me this beautiful woman is a lesbian?

You understand what I mean?

Gabba gabba hey,

John Stamos: I'm here to introduce the next presenter.

The mightiest of superheroes.

# Talkin' like you never doubt #

[Rhythmic Knock On Door]

Oh, it is such a pleasure to meet you, Howard.

but this is his movie.

I can't believe my luck here.

I mean, I don't want to be one of these disc jockeys

By the way, uh...

And remember, Howard,

are not gonna fucking blow it for me!

I mean, I was hung like a 3- year-old.

Instead, I'm a joke.

Everything's good.

OK. Listen to this.

With a big smile... Very sexy...

because as soon as you start in on them,

[Cheers And Applause]

We need you to be a friend here, Robin.

Please welcome Howard Stern.

I'm gonna be so honest with you now.

willing to spend the rest of her life with me.

Howard, As The Woman: Oh, baby, I want it. Give it to me.

Who would come here?

He shouldn't make such a big deal.

You can't be there, then. You're blocking the median.

# If you lie for your breakfast, then you won't get lunch #

Put that there.

Kenny, take it easy.

With a little time,

- One more thing. - Yes?

I mean, I can't even begin to tell you how miserable I am.

What's it about?

"This is not WNBC.

Oh, boy. You know what the truth is?

I want to be on the radio.

That made things worse

across the metropolitan area.

- What? - Yes, that's what you are!

I said patch it in!

Look at me, Robin.

I mean, a whole lesbian sex festival, right?

Yes. Kenny's mentioned you.

# Papa was a rolling stone... #

Sitting with me, uh, Mr. Ringo...

That I really do love you,

Why don't you give me a call at DC 101

No. It's very feminine.

You have carte blanche.

Hey, move it, asshole!

# Shut your mouth... #

I've got my kids,

What about Kelly Landers?

you love this, don't you?

Not that, Fred. Play something else, please.

the right energy...

I think you're really getting good.