Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- A year? - Yeah.

Sitting with me, uh, Mr. Ringo...

I mean, I was hung like a 3- year-old.

Not that, Fred. Play something else, please.

that I'm really not a very big fan of yours,

I mean, a whole lesbian sex festival, right?

No. It's very feminine.

The mightiest of superheroes.

that the commercial sponsors are there once you get the ratings.

What about Kelly Landers?

and I've got a great two for Tuesday.

Right now, you're getting a look at a live broadcast

- What? - Yes, that's what you are!

Yes. Kenny's mentioned you.

# I'll take you there #

Put that there.

I just had the worst night of my life.

Alison dumped me,

You have violated my wife.

It's not good for ratings.

they treated me like I was a jerk.

Instead, I'm a joke.

I'm worshipping your foot.

Well, I've got blond hair, and I've got blue eyes,

Lay it flat on the floor.

What part did you like in particular?

"This is not WNBC.

Good seeing you. I'll see you later.

Then you know what you gotta do?

I mean, I don't want to be one of these disc jockeys

[Rhythmic Knock On Door]

Now, Mark David Chapman, now, there's a guy we gotta talk about, Ross.

It's x-rated radio, barnyard radio.

And you know, I hope you can get them,

You have carte blanche.

[Doorbell Buzzes]

The whole week goes by, she never gets horny.

You know, it's funny, but her last words...

willing to spend the rest of her life with me.

What's happening, man?

Why don't you give me a call at DC 101

Ross Buckingham, have you ever seen a woman

Porno For Pyros: # Got my hands into something #

# Shut your mouth... #

and he makes you want to vomit.

are not gonna fucking blow it for me!

I'm gonna be so honest with you now.

You got to think about the economics of this.

You didn't go all the way before?

What about you specifically, though?

- One more thing. - Yes?

Howard On TV: I took a dump of a radio station and returned it to glory.

what would you do?

so it doesn't quite matter, really.

Kenny, take it easy.

that boy will be asking permission to wipe his ass.

Gabba gabba hey,

Oh, more! Harder!

Howard goes to New York.

across the metropolitan area.

I can't even look at you, idiot!

We need you to be a friend here, Robin.

Guess what. You are done.

With a little time,

# If you lie for your breakfast, then you won't get lunch #

gets assassinated by Sicilians in Palermo.

He shouldn't make such a big deal.

John Stamos: I'm here to introduce the next presenter.

Show business was definitely for me.

All the management at NBC...

It helps relax the muscles.

By the way, uh...

- I look like an elephant! - You don't look like a house.

And the point of this whole thing

# You got me so I can't sleep at night #

the right energy...

And, uh, "There's only one Stanley Sports,

No, there's not, Howard, 'cause your career is over. You're finished.

I can't believe my luck here.

Who would come here?

OK. Listen to this.

What a thing to go through life with.

but this is his movie.

Looks like rain.

about putting some money into the show.

You can't be there, then. You're blocking the median.

Look at me, Robin.

Yeah. If you want to read it, you can.

Ooh. It kinda tingles.

He was an engineer at a radio station in Manhattan... WHOM.

All right? How's that sound, partner?

I mean, I can't even begin to tell you how miserable I am.

so I'm taking the whole group to...

No. I'm wearing, like, little baby-doll pajamas.

All right, OK, fine.

Look, Rushton told me, this phone...

Howard, Fred, I'd like you to meet your new newsman,

Oh, it is such a pleasure to meet you, Howard.

I've got my kids,

Hey, move it, asshole!

No, forget that. I want them to love me...

I'm a disc jockey who makes $250 a week,

What's it about?

wanna be black people who clearly are not black

I know you can hear me, and you're at God's side,

I said patch it in!

if Robin was with me.

and none of these people know who I am.

Do you want me to go on?

Let me ask you something. Would you still love me...

That I really do love you,

With a big smile... Very sexy...

I want to be on the radio.

but was never charged.

Look at that. Ooh.

because as soon as you start in on them,

Please welcome Howard Stern.

I'll do whatever you say if you just make that come true.

This is the Tudor, right?

I told you not to be stupid, you moron.

You understand what I mean?

# Papa was a rolling stone... #

my whole neighborhood underwent a demographic shift.

You hardly ever say a word.

I get fucking nothing! That's what I get!

"Big cock" coming out of your mouth sounds awfully dirty.

And remember, Howard,

I need to know I'm the only one.

Absolutely, sweetheart.

That made things worse

Oh, boy. You know what the truth is?

# Talkin' like you never doubt #

Now, I could be crazy, but I figure a guy who's been married

Brittany: Howard?

[Cheers And Applause]

Look at that. A full 13 inches, ladies and gentlemen.

No. It's just very humiliating to me.

You know, when I got to NBC,

Mama, you there?

and it's my great pleasure to introduce you

You heard that?

I really wanted it to work.

She's a beautiful girl. You're telling me this beautiful woman is a lesbian?

[Doing Mama's Voice] Yes, hello. This is Mama Look-a boo boo day,

Hi, honey. I missed you.

I want the time and the temperature

If you give me a couple of days,

Howard, As The Woman: Oh, baby, I want it. Give it to me.

What am I thanking him for?

The only way to do that is to stay on the air.

Advertising is up. Profit is up.

[Elevator Dings]

Kenny: Thanks, man. God bless.

No offense, Julie. Please, I don't need this aggravation.

you love this, don't you?

I need Robin. She's the anchor on the show.

Alison: Well, I appreciate her support. Can we talk privately now?

Everything's good.

I think you're really getting good.