Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

10 a.m. To 2 p. M, eh?

Just, you know, trying.

Uh, I play golf several times a week, you know?

Hair dryer's in the bathroom.

how about I make you...

All right, I don't want to put you under too much pressure.

Let's go over to Miss Brett Somers right now.

Will everyone just sit down?

You just swallowed.

I mean, we were gonna have our first child,

Kenny, we're one of the biggest radio stations in America.

The audience loved that stuff.

I reject that on principle.

All right, here we go.

No, because I love Alison.

That's the kind of thinking, though,

Caller: How are we gonna do that?

Howard. How you doing, man?

Now, uh, Howard, you know, uh...

Yes. You know about this?

but I've really changed my mind.

The reason I'm calling is because your husband

I don't think we should be talking about this.

OK there, Mr. Rushton,

So I can't say "big cock,"

You did not have permission to do that bit.

This is it. This is everything I want.

I hold you and this station personally responsible.

I gave the script to Fred.

or the wires get screwed up.

All right, if I could have some music now.

So, we were on our way to a rally in support of feminism,

And I said to my wife, "Honey, don't be upset

and if you love music, you'll love Deep Purple on TBU.

I told you, we're gonna build a new building.

Howard: Little by little,

I swallowed. Oh, my God.

The only thing on my mind, Gene,

Robin: Congratulations, Howard.

We can't just not do the news.

Down here. Down here. Down here.

And Alison, well, she got a job right away.

I was the happiest program director in the world.

I mean, a gorgeous woman,

but I got a wife at home. I can't cheat on my wife.

What are you sleeping in?

But why can't I play with my puppets?

Oh, I can't do that.

[Cough] Blecch!

# Biddi-biddi-biddi #

Julie says we're blessed, honey,

so I have a sloppy pussy.

I mean, I never saw the guy.

Howard: Take your speaker... You got a big speaker?

You think that'll work?

This is so exciting...

Record: # Stop it now... #

You're a moron. Now shut up and sit still.

[Together] W N BC.

You won't... You're not gonna be naked or anything.

While we were producing this report,

Are you ready to have sex?

Turns you on, doesn't it, you little maggot?

Wait a minute. Does she know what she's gonna have?

No, Ma. There's no smoke in here.

OK. The treble's down, and the bass is up.

And the winner is...

It's the single worst moment in radio history.

Yes, honey... Uh-oh, Al? I think she's gone.

How do you get along with the folks here?

Howard: Look, I refused to leave the room

Yeah. That's why we're here, man.

Hey, Pig Vomit.

Alison's one of my roommates.

Robin: Hit him back.

I know you're very, very proud

Howard! Howard!

Oh, yeah. Your sperm are fine.

[Doorbell Buzzes]

See? It tingles. She likes it.

[Howard Humming]

but it's clear that she's totally disgusted by me.

Joe's gotta message for Trump Donald get the fuck out

And now... something for a blue Sunday.

I couldn't be happier. Everything is fine.

# No reason to get excited #

Uh, I manage a shopping mall

and then Robin will analyze me when we get back from this song.

making him number one in greater Washington.

You're serious?

But don't make fun of the Chinese people.

[Ghostly Groaning]

but I took a polaroid of the toilet.

Well, what do you think?

This is a good one. It's a good mystery guest.

This afternoon... Gray skies,

Yes, because he looks like a pig,

107 FM, AM 1290, WCCC. Good morning.

Let me soak you in.

Oh, my God, Robin.

Gene, I have cock, and I wrote it big.

Thanks... Thanks... Thank you.

program director?

[Lmitating Voice] Hello, everybody. Hello.

To be quite honest, I didn't really want to be a programmer.

A year, ladies and gentlemen.

You're goddamn right she's never gonna do it again. You're fired.

Shvartzes are niggers, idiot.

As soon as they get him on,

The problem is that when I needed you,

Start again. Here we go.

So I'm out there counting all the bodies.

It's a plane...

Yes, you do, you big idiot scumbag.

to introduce to all of you a very special man.

You're a moron. Now shut up and sit still.

What can I do to help here?

I should have just come home

I'll tell you, these halls are, like,

Let me ride herd on him,

Howard's Voice: Save me.

You ever do that again, I'll kill you.

if given the opportunity to...

See, he doesn't actually say the bad thing himself.

I think a lot of us were moved last night.

Who knows? I don't know. Massage, schmas.

and I just went for it.

That's my kid up there.

How did Howard Stern get outside my fucking office?

jumped to the top of the ratings today,

Shut up! Sit down!

No, that's not a seizure. That's me dancing

unconventional disc jockey Howard Stern

Hey, seriously, these guys had rhinoceros penises... huge.

I mean, I think he really liked me.

Uh, everyone was asleep,

Look at these gams.

You enjoying the experience?

- Hi. - Wait, wait. There we go.

Oh, well, we are, sir.

Records... Who gives a damn?

Oh. Oh, I'm really looking forward to working with you.

to the listener with the largest bowel movement.