Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Howard: I see. That's very interesting.

We did not have sex on our first date,

Well, either I'll tame him,

Denzel Washington...

Howard, your father wants to see you downstairs.

because we have some great panelists.

I could do that.

I'll be right back.

You re not halfway even done yet

I'm all ears, Howard. Let's hear it.

Kenny. Howard Stern.

Alison... She's the best friend I could ever have.

I hope it's not too tangy.

# Just you wait and see... #

Excuse me. Mentally challenged.

Right. And I was working at a summer camp.

Thank you, Howard.

You know what I would do to you physically?

Absolutely refuses.

There it is, cock-a-doo... do me a favor

I just couldn't have been happier.

- I've never said this before. - [Music Plays]

Thank you very much.

[Lmitates Ringo] How you doin', me love?

Howard, Lisping: Ooo-ey, that's me.

but this is, like, one line,

You're not even old enough to have been in Vietnam.

I don't know if that's OK or not.

you are themotherfucking antichrist

How about that! LeBron James, Huh?!

No, it's Fartman!

Well, Howard, I was 18.

4 times every 15 minutes, not 3. 4.

Wow. Thank you. Oh, my.

What did you have? Blank willow.

DC 101. Good morning. This is Howard Stern.

I mean, Fred seemed to really like me.

Yeah. It's the number one mall in Colbert County,

And the first thing you've gotta do

You know, I've heard black men complain

[Van Halen's You Really Got Me Plays]

Are we ready in there, Freddy Boy?

OK, let's have a little music, Phil.

because, see, you don't have a real good voice

Wow. You gotta love that, folks.

"No use of the so-called 7 dirty words.

disc jockeys are dogs.

# She had the sexiest eyes #

I bear no grudge against David King... David King can kiss my ass in HELL!

Time for the news.

She's the voice of reason.

Please, that's way too personal.

to the funeral on Saturday, but...

and you're gonna hear how he does it. Come on, boy.

Joe has a message for Trump Donald get the fuck out

# We did not want to share... #

I'm escorting this woman around,

Chuck, will you show him the numbers.

Please. It really hurts.

He comes to me.

I want to kill Mark David Chapman.

my wife calls in?

because I am New York's first ever gay disc jockey.

Why do we live in Roosevelt when you work in New York?

It's Howard over in the air studio.

The author has slept with over 16,000 women,

A fully integrated educational institution,

# My life's a wreck #

It's a big problem,

clarify the situation for him, please.

Oh, yes, harder. Please give it to me, please.

Look at me, Robin. Robin...

I'll tell you... Howard Stern, man.

listens for 21/2 hours a day.

I know. You thought I was a disgusting, sexist, racist pig

And the Howard Stern program.

There ain't no God while Howard Stern's walking the earth,

at 4:00 in the morning in that radio station.

You have the look of love in your eyes,

Well, Gene, I didn't write it too neat,

and killing a kid should be just as good as killing an adult.

I turned to drugs.

Huh. You know what? Maybe some other time.

I got something to say to you.

This person is coming here to work at our flagship station?

So we gave them some characters, right?

You've finally done it.

I guess she forgot to close the door.

You know, I'm thinking about...

Get a grip on yourself!

- Good to see you. - Good to see you, too.

Was it the Chinese guy calling in for the Doobie Brothers tickets?

All right, there it is. Cock, cock, cock.

That is the first naked lady in the history of radio.

I think something's wrong.

# Oh, the canvas can do miracles #

"All of Hollywood can kiss my ass,"

and already she's got a job working with a bunch of wackos.

Let me tell you something. There are roaches the size of dogs here.

More. More. Ohh!

What the hell is this donkey here for?

# Biddi-biddi-biddi... #

Now, because I had such a minuscule schlonger,

We have a lot of excitement in the air today

- but that goddamn son of a bitch... - [Jackhammer]

It's a show business donkey.

Pfft, I've seen this look before,

Well, he's going to his first job interview in New York.

You played poison, I don’t need you.. fired.

Absolutely not. This could be a fluke.

# I'm a hard charger #

Alison: Am I on the air?

This is God with the weather on DC 101.

It's time for The Match Game.

Hey, let me ask you something, Ross.

It's an equation from hell.

You couldn't be physically attracted to me, could you?

All right. Now, let's get into it.

When you drop, don't spin around

[Saying Call Letters]

I got to go all the way.

and she's here to talk about life in the theater,

I don't know. Something in me just snapped.

and I'm your host Symphony Sid.

Now, push! Push!

You know what? You're getting baby fever here.

He's the hottest d.j. In New York.

You understand me? A point and a half higher than lmus.

Hey, Patricia Fonfara, meet Howard Stern. Your newslady.

[Jimi Hendrix's All Along The Watchtower Plays]

He criticizes us on television.

Thank you. I love you, God.

First of all, what kind of radio are you listening to us on?

Just put it right through as soon as you can.

Works best when I'm in a hot bath.

[Sniff Sniff Sniff]

Oh, yeah? Come on, hurry up.

Well, then I guess you better take them off.

Did you miss me? Mmm!

That's why we drove here from Jersey.

I am just trying to run a radio station.

Says she'd rather quit.

# Hard charger #

Kill, Kill, Kill...

He's number one in the market.

- What were you again? - I was a captain.

In fact, my father was a radio engineer,

Do it. Be a man.